Dawn of the Summer Camp Six
DAWN OF THE SUMMER CAMP SIX
By SuperFolder Jawa
PART 1: Camp Kirby
Entry #5 – June 7th
“Welcome to Camp Kirby! You’re gonna have loads of fun!” or at least that’s what the camp chaperones told me.
Most kids just go to Camp Kirby so they don’t have to take P.E. the following school year. But not me. I’m here on a mission.
I’m going to assemble a team.
Let me explain. After getting my mom to agree to transfer me to Kirby in the fall, I suggested that it would be good for me to make some new friends before the school year starts by attending Camp Kirby (it has another name, but it’s very…lame. Therefore, we call it Camp Kirby.). She was hesitant at first, but with Darian going as well, she agreed.
Summer camp is a fantastic place to put together a group, especially if everyone is from the same school. At summer camp, you get to see what these kids are really like, away from the teachers, counsellors and chaperones that run rampant around the school. At summer camp, kids are far more relaxed, which means that there are no barriers between the students they are and the students they pretend to be.
I want to make sure my experience at Kirby High School is a memorable one. With these kids’ obsession with Marvel Comics, I think a ‘team’ of my own might just be the way to make that happen. I’m not going to form a ‘superhero’ team, though. I much prefer working in the shadows, influencing events in ways that I couldn’t as a ‘hero’.
It just so happens that I am far more comfortable being a villain. So, a villain team it is.
This all had to be explained to Darian, obviously. Darian’s my cousin. He’s usually a little slow on the uptake. I wouldn’t bother including him in my affairs, but as he’s my translator I’m stuck with him.
“So, let me get this straight,” Darian asked me, on the drive up to the camp. “You want to make a team of paper villains just to mess with people at Kirby?”
“And you want me to have a puppet? Like your Taskmaker dude?”
I sighed “Taskmaster”, hoping Darian caught my annoyance.
“I’ve never even heard of this guy you want me to have,” Darian said, looking at the Wikipedia article for ‘Black Ant’. I actually found this choice for Darian’s puppet to be a genius move; in the comics, Taskmaster teaches Black Ant about bounty hunting and how to be the best he can be. I doubted Darian would appreciate the connection.
I sighed the phrase, “Just trust me. This could be really fun.”
Darian sighed. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Let’s do this, I guess.”
My mother dropped us both off at the camp. It was just outside of Madison, near a very large lake. The center of the camp was on top of a hill, with a dirt-path courtyard with a large bonfire in the center. The cabins encircled this bonfire, with the administration building behind the cabins. Paths branched from the center, heading down to three different pavilions; one for the arts, one for performance, and one for recreational equipment. The path led down the hill, presumably heading towards the lake, and, judging by the bows and quivers in the recreational pavilion, an archery range. It was very charming, in a rustic sense. The air smelled distinctly of pine trees and pure potential.
PART 2: The Recruitment
Entry #6 – June 11th
We had to start somewhere, so we scoped out all of the classes and activities for potential candidates. Once we did that, we began to send out notes to each person to attend the inaugural meeting of the group. Here, we’ve compiled the cases on each member.
Subject #1: Joseph Cullen
Hobbies: Drawing, Painting, Sculpting
During our “Arts & Crafts” period we stumbled upon Cullen. He was drawing an exaggerated photo of Mr. Corales (the P.E. teacher) when he noticed some scrawny kid trying to sculpt something.
“What the heck is that thing?” said Cullen, as he stared at the glob of clay.
The kid started to speak up, “I’m trying to make-” Cullen interrupted.
“Lightbulb! Obviously it’s one of the Hulk’s turds.”
“It’s supposed to be-”
That was the sound the sculpture made after Cullen threw it on the ground.
“Looks like I was right! Better wipe that crap up, loser!”
After laughing some more, he returned to his seat and discovered our note:
“Joseph: You may find this shocking, but we have an offer for you. For more details, meet at Cabin #7 at Midnight tonight.
Subject #2: Jonathan Zeck
Hobbies: Hunting, Fishing, Girls
Jonathan Zeck is only one merit badge away from Eagle Scout. I know this because it’s all he talks about, especially to the girls at the camp. We caught up with him at the lake.
“Sup, ladies? Y’all know how to fish? I can teach ya. I’m an Eagle Scout, ya know. Well, almost an Eagle Scout.”
They would’ve ignored him. But we planned for this.
You see, Camp Kirby doesn’t allow electronics on site, which means cellphones. I’m pretty sure that most of the girls here are suffering from the effects of withdrawal. They can’t check their Instagram or Snapchat feed 24/7, and that makes them freak out.
So in exchange for showing an “interest” in ol’ John-boy, we were able to get one of the girls phones from the camp counselors office.
She handed the note we gave her to Zeck, smiled, and left. All according to plan.
I can understand Zeck’s disappointment when he discovered that it was not in fact the girls number, but a letter from us:
“Jonathan: You probably thought you were out hunting, right? Turns out, you were the hunted. Cabin #7 at Midnight tonight.
Subject #3: Michael Kasdan
Hobbies: Acting, Editing. Writing
Mr. Kasdan was discovered while watching the drama department annual Camp Kirby production of “Much Ado About Nothing” Shakespeare turned musical or something. Anyways, we caught him backstage memorizing lines.
“O Hero, what a Hero hadst thou been! If half thy outward graces had been placed about thy thoughts and counsels of thy heart! But fare thee well, most foul, most – what the heck?”
He found our note.
“Michael: I know this note is rather mysterious, but we have an offer for you. Cabin #7, Midnight tonight.
– Sincerely, [T]”
Subject #4/5: Asher Stevenson, Ian Drago
Hobbies: Asher – Dumpster Diving / Ian – Heavy Lifting
Stevenson and Drago are an odd pair. Drago is a Russian exchange student, and Stevenson is a conservationist with alopecia.
We spotted them shortly after securing Zeck. Stevenson was cleaning the shore around the lake, while Drago held the trash can.
“Look at all this garbage, Ian! I can’t catch a break!”
“It is disrespect to lake,” said Drago.
“You betcha.” said Asher, picking up another piece of paper. “Do you know how long it takes for a – hey Ian, did you write this?” he held up our note addressed to them.
“I still learning English.” said Drago. “What does letter say?”
“Asher. Ian. We’ve got to sand it to you for cleaning up the shoreline, but you’d be a birdbrain if you didn’t meet with us at Cabin #7 at Midnight tonight.
Subject #6: Aflredo Russo
Hobbies: Computer, I think? He’s pretty smart.
Our final recruit was one Alfredo Russo, or, as we like to call him, Fred.
Unlike the others, I felt like there was something different about Fred, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. So instead of a note, Darian and I walked up to him during lunch. He was sitting alone, eating a ham sandwich.
“Yo.” said Darian. “We’ve got -”
“Here, take it! Just leave me alone!” Fred shouted at us as he tried to give Darian the ham sandwich. “I’m tired of being bullied, just take it!”
“Woah, woah, what are you talking about, man? We just wanna talk.”
“Why do you wanna talk to me? So you can figure out what to make fun of me for?”
“Actually we wanted to know if you’d wanna meet with us and a few other people behind Cabin #7 at midnight tonight. We’ve got a proposition to make to them, as well as you.”
“I’m still not sure. What’s he doing?” Fred asked, pointing to me.
“That’s Aaron. He can’t speak, so I have to do that for him.”
“Man, that sucks. What’s this proposition?”
“If you’re tired of being some lame nerd nobody talks to, meet at the cabin tonight and you’ll find out more.”
“What does that mean?” Fred asked, but we had already started to leave.
PART 3: Fireside Chat
So basically I bought this recorder thingy, and placed it in the middle of the group. Aaron wanted to log it on paper, so I’ve transcribed it here.
Aaron (via Darian): Welcome one and all, to the first meeting of what I hope to be many. You’re probably wondering why I’ve asked you here tonight, and that I can explain using a quote from Indiana Jones: “Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.”
Ash: Are you starting a conservationist group to clean up Madison County?
Joe: What the heck does that mean? I thought we were here to become bada-
Aaron: Settle down, everyone. You may not know me very well, but I know you.
[Darian hands each member a piece of paper with information about them written on it.]
John: What – how – ? How do you know all this stuff?
Aaron: In time, you will learn. I have invited you all here to assemble a team. A team that, if we work together, could not only take over Kirby and Wheeler, but the entire Madison County School System!
Fred: That’s a little ambitious, isn’t it? I mean, there’s only seven of us.
Ian: You just here to translate for deaf man.
John: Yeah, and why should we listen to a deaf kid anyways? He can’t hear us!
[Aaron punches Jonathan in the shoulder.]
John: What the heck, dude?
Aaron: I’m not deaf, I just can’t talk.
Fred: Can you guys get to the point?
Aaron: Take these.
[Aaron starts to pass out the puppets.]
Ash: An origami…Vulture?
Fred: Oh no, one of these origami groups or whatever? I’m out of here.
Aaron: Where are you going? What are you doing?!?
Fred: I’m not getting involved in one of those “origami gangs” it’s stupid and a waste of time.
Ash: Well, now we have six. What puppets did you guys get?
Mike: I already have a Mysterio, but hey, having a backup isn’t a bad idea.
John: I got some shirtless dude.
Aaron: That’s Kraven the Hunter. He’s like you in many ways.
John: He’s an Eagle Scout?
[Aaron stares at John.]
Aaron: Now that you have your puppets, here’s the plan: We train here all summer, and then when school starts back up, we wreak havoc.
Ash: Not environmental havoc, I hope.
Aaron: Start working on your skills. We’ll reconvene on the last day of camp. Meeting adjourned.
PART 4: The Summer Camp Six
Well, today’s the day. Everyone is packing up their stuff, and leaving Camp Kirby. As everyone starts getting on the bus, I’m going to check with each member of the team to make sure they’re ready for Kirby. They were tasked to come up with an origami pun to incorporate into their puppet name. Here’s the list:
Electro = Electrofold
– Very original. Sigh.
Vulture = Origami Vulture
– Even more original. Double sigh.
Sandman = Sandpaper-Man
– I actually kinda like this one.
Mysterio = Mysterigami
– Pretty catchy I suppose.
Kraven = Krease the Hunter
The “K” instead of the “C” is a nice addition.
With the team assembled, I gave them their next assignment. Let’s just say that the first day of school is going to be…fun.
The Summer Camp Six is coming for you Kirby, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us. [Insert Evil Laugh Here]