Carnagami: Chapter 1
By Chris Fasterman
Everybody is a villain in someone else’s story. That’s what they say. Well, I don’t really have a villain in my story. Because I am the villain.
2018. It’s a year that all trouble-makers and bullies in Kirby and Wheeler have tried to forget, because it’s the year the long-absent OrigAvengers came back. Of course, now Iron Fold, Captain Americut, the Unshreddible Hulk, and all the others are too busy to deal with the small things going on in the school-yard.
Of course, they don’t have to forget it anymore. The good thing these days is that the big heroes have their heads stuck in the clouds. You punch someone in the mouth, and Spider-Fold is hanging out with his friends. You break into someone’s locker, and Hawkpleat is eating a sloppy joe. It’s so easy to do stuff now, that I sort of miss those days when it wasn’t.
One day, I got really bored. I decided one day to chill at Wheeler after school. Unsurprisingly, no one knew who I was. Chris Fasterman? That guy from Kirby who likes to vandalize and pressure other kids into doing what he wants? No? Nothing? Typical.
I hung out with some Wheeler students for a bit. We shared plenty of stories with each other, laughed at each other’s bad jokes, and just had fun. Like normal people. People who weren’t villains.
That got me thinking.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m not cut out for the bad stuff. No, no…I definitely am, right? Right? Yeah, I am! In fact, I’ll prove it! I need to get a hero’s attention. But which one? Hmm…
Carnagami: Chapter 2
Ezra Cronin. Sidekick of Cal Largent. OrigVenom. I should get his attention! And I know exactly the thing…
So last night, I was writing an email revealing a whole bunch of bad things that Ezra didn’t actually do. I was going to email it to everyone in school.
“Oh, imagine if Ezra saw this! Yep, he would pummel me. Then he’d go back to dealing with the infinite list of personal issues he has,” I sighed. “He had a lot of villain potential. All wasted. Poor Ezra. Ezra, Ezra, Ezra.”
I pressed ‘send.’ But then I looked closer…I accidentally emailed it to Ezra and Ezra only!
“Oh no, oh no, oh no!” I said. “I think I said his name too many times!”
The next day, Ezra came up to me at lunch.
“I got your email last night,” he said. “Were you planning to send it to the whole school or something?”
“Wow, you’re a little bit smarter than you look,” I replied. He then scowled at me. “Aren’t you precious,” I added.
He then left, still scowling, but then I grabbed his precious little OrigVenom puppet and ripped it into shreds. “Listen, tough guy,” I said, “the email thing didn’t work, but this will. I broke your precious puppet. Look at me rubbing my fingers all over the shredded bits that are left. Look at me throwing all the remains into the trash can. Watch me kick the trash can, then try to find as many remains as I can, and see me throw them in my mouth, chew them a little, and spit it out, again, into the trash can.”
“I…I…,” Ezra stuttered. He couldn’t say anything. “I’m not stuttering because you ripped my 100% replaceable puppet friend. I’m stuttering because you just, uh, touched the wrong puppet.”
I felt something weird in my body. Did I accidentally swallow some paper? Ew. Was Ezra sick? Ew. Both choices were too gross to process.
Weird things started to happen with my vision. It got blurry, then clear, then blurry, the clear again. I craved something…water.
“WATER!” I shouted, grabbing someone’s water bottle, opening the cap, and chugging it all down at once.
“Hey! What’s your problem?” The kid groaned. I ignored him, threw the water bottle behind me, and left.
“I NEED MORE!” I yelled out. I went to the sink in the bathroom, and drank straight from it. Yes, I drank all that dirty, lead-filled water. It tasted so good in that moment. I needed all the water I could get.
Then I finally came to my senses. A little bit. I needed a disguise, at least! I just realized that if I do this, I need to make sure that almost no one sees that I’m the one who’s doing it. I was able to find some kid’s hoodie on the ground.
I was running around, chugging down all the water I could find in the whole building, while wearing a hoodie that didn’t even fit. But then I saw something weird…a group of trees all bundled up together near the yard. I felt like it called out to me. I wondered if there was some abandoned water bottle that rolled in there. A ridiculous thought, but I was literally going insane.
I walked, very cautiously, into the bundle of trees, not wanting to get poked by thorns. I saw a red sharpie without a cap, probably dry, resting on the ground, . Oh, and some origami finger puppet that looked a lot like that OrigVenom puppet, but with bigger teeth drawn on. It was a dark gray color, not black.
It probably was my dehydration, but I thought to myself, What if I just randomly colored this thing red? So, I picked up the sharpie and the puppet. Surprisingly, the sharpie worked. And I colored it red.
“Huh,” I said. “I think I’ll keep this. It looks funny.”
Then, I blacked out.
Carnagami: Chapter 3
I woke up in a red, shadowy-looking realm. There was not a single structure. Not a single house, building, not even a cottage. There were no animals. No plants. No sun. Just red nothingness.
Carnage appeared just 10 feet away from me. You know, Venom’s arch-nemesis in the comics.
Except this Carnage was made of paper. I walked a little bit closer to Carnage. He was made of hundreds of thousands of tiny little origami Carnages. They looked exactly like that gray Venom puppet I colored red.
“Listen, kid, we’re inside your mind. I don’t want to be, though. Honestly, I really don’t belong here,” Paper Carnage said. “I belong to Ez–”
I blacked out. Again.
Carnagami: Chapter 4
“Hello? Are you awake?”
“Hey, Shirley, is he okay?”
“It looks like he passed out.”
“Doesn’t everyone, these days?”
“It looks like he has some sort of Venom origami. Wait! Is this Ezra Cronin? Howie, we found Ezra Cronin in the bushes! But why is he passed out?”
“School’s been over for half an hour, Shirl. Our parents are calling us from the car. Should we take him?”
“I mean…the school closes in two hours. So, maybe we should, uh, take him?”
FIVE HOURS LATER
“What? Where am I?” I asked.
It looked like someone’s bedroom. A brother and sister were standing cautiously behind the bed. Probably nervous about me.
“In our house, dummy,” the sister said. “My brother’s room, to be exact.”
“My name’s Howard, my little sister’s name is Shirley,” the brother said. “We told our parents that your parents gave you permission for a sleepover. They didn’t even notice you were passed out, because my makeup-master of a sister over here drew fake eyes on you with her, well, makeup. We realized that you definitely aren’t Ezra Cronin, by the way. But we were wondering who your little red origami friend is.”
I noticed the Carnage puppet on my finger, after all these hours.
“Who is it? An origami Scream?” Shirley questioned.
“Ripped in half by Cronin’s girlfriend,” I said.
“I think Cronin’s girl threw it in the trash,” I answered.
“Origami Pork Grind?”
I yelled, “Does this look like a pig?”
“There’s only one other symbiote I can think of that it can be,” Howard said. “An origami Carnage.”
“Yes! Totally,” I replied, surprised by how quickly I’d answered. “It’s totally Carnage. It’s called, uh, it’s called…Carnagami! Yeah! Carnagami. Now, can you let me go? I’ll crawl out the window and sneak outside. Then I can go back to my house and sleep in peace. Got it?”
“It’s freezing cold out there, and I think you’re too tired to walk more than 10 feet out of this house. You’re in for the night,” Shirley said.
“That’s not true,” I said, but I was sitting on the bed, and I hadn’t walked a foot during my whole conversation with them. Everything in the room went black. For the 1000th time.
A Phone Call With Evil
It’s been awhile since my inauguration as OrigVenom; the battle with Karl, dating Samantha, becoming friends with Cal…that was all a long time ago. Since then, I think I’ve matured a bit. I’m now a hero in my own right, and I’ve joined Cal and his Spider-Team on a lot of occasions.
I don’t know what it was, but today I was feeling nostalgic. And, I needed to ask about the strange substance that had covered my original OrigVenom puppet. Now that someone else had touched it, it might be a good idea to stop the side-effects before they happened. I decided to call my old enemy and see how he was doing.
I dialed the number and waited. Surprisingly, someone answered. “Hi, Karl, it’s Ezra. The guy who made you move to Virginia,” I greeted. Petty, yeah, but whatever.
Karl Blonsky Jr.’s voice sounded really sarcastic as he replied, “Ezra, oh, I remember you. Weren’t you the one with Venom, and I had Riot, and we fought, and there was a battle, and I went insane and threw Riot into the bushes and–”
“Yes, Karl, we all remember. You invented the chemical that covered my pupp–”
“Chemical M?” he asked.
“Okay then, I guess it’s about time it had a name,” I said, shrugging. “Something’s come up related to Chemical M. So, since you it, is there a way to reverse it?”
Karl laughed. “Oh, just mix liquid soap with water. Easy as can be. It’s a simple cure, I know.”
Cal and Colt were over at my house, listening to the phone call. Cal spoke up. “Wait, Ezra…do you wash your hands with soap and water, or just water?”
I looked awkwardly at him.
“Ew, man,” he said.
“Well, my friend Harvey is coming over soon,” Karl said. “Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!”
He hung up.
I told Cal and Colt about Chris Fasterman and the OrigVenom incident, and how I wanted to make a cure for the strange chemical that covered the original puppet.
“Why do you want to cure Chemical M?” Colt asked. “Isn’t that the opposite of what you should be doing?”
“See, after I get my hands on Chris, I’ll transmit OrigVenom to myself, and then I’ll make him drink the antidote. Problem solved.”
“Sounds &*^%$#@! I like it!” Colt said. He high-fived me.
“Watch the language around me, OK?” I said. “Starting now.”
Carnagami: Chapter 6
2 WEEKS LATER…
“Clark, the keys!” the Spider-Fold kid shouted to his older brother.
“Howard, Shirley. I got the keys,” I whispered into my buetooth.
That Iron Fold kid looked up from his phone. I was happily stealing the keys to the F.O.L.D. file room.
“Great, Chris. Swerve right. NOW!”
Iron Fold threw his phone at me.
It hit me right in the head.
I fell onto the floor. Seems like I had lost.
“Hey, Chris, where are you? Did they catch you?” I heard Shirley ask. There was a bit of static in her voice, so I think the phone may have hit the bluetooth as well.
I rubbed my forehead and got up from the ground. I was fine. Yeah, totally fine. I rushed through the file-room door.
“Chris [short static] the C files are [short static] in front of [short static] you! [long static],” either Howard or Shirley said. The static made it hard to tell.
I kept running, and I heard Iron Fold and the Spider-Fold arguing. While they bickered, I made it to the file I was looking for.
“Yes!” I proudly held Ezra’s file up to my face. “Now I have the perfect thing to destroy Ezra Cronin and OrigVenom!”
I heard some static in my ear, followed by Howard’s voice. “Oh, hey, Chris. We were offline for a minute, though we don’t know why. Sorry ’bout that.”
Iron Fold and Spider-Fold started to run towards me. The kid had his arms out, trying to block my way out of the door. I ducked way down and made it through the door when–
Iron Fold caught me by the legs.
“Okay, Fasterman, let’s bring you to the office.”
To help us make the cure, I called up Karl again on Skype. He’d seemed to have gotten wierder since he’d moved to Virginia. “Okay, sad squirrel bois,” he started, directing us through the concoction, “First you need to mix the botox with the sodium chloride–”
“You mean salt?” Cal asked.
“Yes, weird-looking pineapple man. Salt. Next, add a pint of milk to the mixture. Gentle, GENTLE, Ezra! This is my life’s work! Then, add hydrogen peroxide with rubbing alcohol, plus the churned extract of cow’s milk–”
“You mean butter?” Cal asked.
“Yes, half a stick of butter. Now mix, mix, mix, yes, good, like that, and then…you’re done! Bye!”
Karl hung up.
“Chemical M contains a whole lot of dairy,” Colt joked. “But seriously, remind me why we’re also MAKING Chemical M?”
“To experiment,” I replied. “We already tested out the antidote without you. I’m cured from all things OrigVenom as of now. But we have to contact the actual OrigVenom. Karl and I deduced that, just like the actual alien symbiotes in the 2018 Venom movie, some people are a lucky match to OrigVenom, while others, well, aren’t. Karl theorized that since OrigVenom’s Chemical M is in Chris, who probably isn’t a very good host. He’s stuck deep inside Chris’s mind, trapped.”
“This is really trippy,” Cal said, sounding confused.
“How will we contact OrigVenom using Chemical M, anyway?” Colt said.
I replied, “We need a physical body, contaminated by Chemical M, to reach out to OrigVenom. Cal? Colt? Anyone?”
There was a silence. “I’ll do it,” said Colt. “I’m the one who met Karl Blonsky Jr. that fateful night. All of this is my fault.”
“No,” Cal said, looking me right in the eye. “You beat me up pretty good awhile ago, Ezra. But you’re still my friend.”
He pulled out Spider-Fold.
I patted Cal on the shoulder. “Thanks, man. Now, drink every drop of Chemical M in the flask. You might see things, feel very drowsy, and after a couple seconds, you’ll pass out. Then you will come into contact.”
“Got it,” Cal said, firmly.
He grabbed the glass and drank it. Gulp.
By Chris, Cal and OrigVenom
(some taking place inside Chris’s head and overactive imagination)
I was very upset that I hadn’t been able to get the files. I sat down with Howie and Shirley, dejected. “Gosh darn it, I can’t believe I lost,” I said.
“You’ll have better luck next time,” Howie said.
“You know what, maybe you’re righ–” I blacked out for what seemed like the fiftieth time in three weeks.
Hello? I asked.
Hi, a new voice in my head responded.
Who are you?
Cal Largent. Where is OrigVenom?
You mean Carnagami? Over there, crying in the corner. He’s giving me the same powers as Ezra, but I’m afraid he doesn’t come out and talk to me as much as he did with Ezra.
What the–is that you?
GO AWAY! OrigVenom, er, Carnagami shouted at Cal.
I’m not leaving without you.
Yeah. Ezra and I have been trying to get you back for weeks.
Carnagami, don’t listen to him!
My name is OrigVenom.
I’m gonna get you for that, Largent. Now, in fact.
“Cal, wake up!”
I woke up inside a strange kitchen. It took me a long time to realize that I’d had an allergic reaction to Chemical M. I think I heard voices. It had been a long time since I’d been in the regular world. “I’m up, I’m up,” I said.
“Cal?” Ezra asked.
Who was Cal? “Oh, no, this is OrigVenom. Where am I?”
“My house,” Colt said. “Cal, why are you acting so strange?”
I looked at my hands. They were human.
“AHHH,” I said. “I don’t really know how to explain this. Ezra, I’m…OrigVenom. I guess Cal brought me back with him, and now he’s the one stuck in his own mind.”
“Okay then,” Ezra said. “We’ll try to sort this out later. Until then, R.I.P. Cal. Now let’s go get Fasterman!”
Carnagami: Chapter—oh, forget it! They got him back!
“No!” I said. Everything was blurry, then clear, then blurry, then clear again. I was in a hospital bed. Howard and Shirley were in front of me, and I saw their parents and mine in the hall.
“Guys,” Chris said. “They took Carnagami back. We lost again.”
The doctor came in the room and looked at me. “Oh, Mr. Fasterman! You woke up! I just informed your parents that you have a serious infection spreading throughout your body of an unknown element. It seems very serious, and we’re trying our best to—”
“I’m fine, okay? I need to get out of here,” I said, disconnecting the heart rate monitor from myself. I walked out of bed. “It’s not that serious, and it’s gonna leave anyway.”
I muttered to myself, “Mostly because of a kid named Cal.”
“I recommend you get back in bed,” the doctor said, but I had already made it to the hall, past my parents.
After a few minutes of racing down the hospital stairs, I heard footsteps. I looked behind myself, and Howard and Shirley were following me.
Howard yelled, “Dude! Get back up there!”
“I’m sorry, guys!” I yelled back. I added, “I must finish what I started.”
“Forget OrigVenom and revenge and all that! You’re our friend. So stay out of trouble,” Shirley said, finally speaking up.
I made to the bottom of the stairs. I went through the doors of the hospital, and right when I was going to slowly (and menacingly…kind of) walk all the way to Kirby, Howard touched my shoulder.
I looked at them, and he said, “At least change into this before you go to school, dum-dum.” Howard threw me a tight hoodie. It looked like the one from when I got infected two weeks ago, but gray.
“Hey, Howard, we’re gonna take a little detour before Kirby—and Shirley, do you have a red sharpie?”
A Drop Of Chocolate Milk
I, Colt, and OrigVenom/Cal walked into school. Everyone was in class, and guess who was sitting on a bench in the cafeteria? Chris, that’s who, with a pair of twins behind him. The first thing that I noticed was that he was wearing a grey hoodie that had Carnage-style red veins drawn onto it.
“Gotta admit, you draw pretty well,” OrigVenom/Cal said. “You might be evil, but you have talent. And I just can’t wait to eat your talented braaaaains.”
Colt whispered in my ear, “Now that OrigVenom is in control of Cal’s freaking body, which is already Science Fiction Level 1000, you do realize that he can actually eat brains now, right?”
“I already said we’ll deal with it later today,” I whispered back.
“I mean no harm,” Chris said to us three. “The work is already done. I mean you, guys were heading to Kirby for me, so I went down to Colt’s house, let in by his parents. Colt, on an unrelated note, your folks are very nice people, by the way. Then I went down to the kitchen, and on the counter, I saw all types of baking powders and chemicals and even butter on the counter, and I knew they were the ingredients for the OrigVenom chemical. I filled up a few gallons, and we made it to Kirby before you three. We then went to the lunch-ladies, and—”
The bell rang. Doors opened, and a hundred kids or more burst through the doors, including the OrigAvengers (except for Dove).
“Oh, hey, it’s Sloppy Joe Tuesday. Everyone loves it, right? Well, now they’re going to love it even more. Because now it comes with some…suspiciously wet…mystery meat.”
We looked to the lunch line. Some people were already coming out with Chemical M-infected Sloppy Joes.
Some people started to bite into their Sloppy Joes. Yeah, including a few of Kirby’s mightiest.
OrigVenom/Cal’s eyes turned white. “Help me! Now!”
A bunch of students started to pass out. Then Iron Fold did.
“Hey, can’t Cal’s brother drive?” Colt asked. “If so, we’re $#&@*% doomed,”
A Drop Of Chocolate Milk Pt. 2
OrigVenom/Cal dropped to the ground, unconscious. After a few moments, I heard a familiar voice. “Hey, Ezra, down here!”
Spider-Fold was sticking out of OrigVenom/Cal’s pocket.
“Don’t tell me that you’re…,” I said, trying to bring myself to say the rest of the sentence.
Colt said flatly, “Wow, we’ve entered Science Fiction Level 100,000. Great job, everybody.”
“I won, I won, I won!” Chris said. “It usually doesn’t happen in fairy tales, does it? The villain winning. But I made it.”
“No, you didn’t win,” the boy behind Chris said, pushing the girl behind Chris out of his way. “I won.”
He pulled out an Anti-Venom puppet from behind his back. Then he pushed Chris off the top of the table. Chris fell on the hard cement.
“My everything hurts,” he moaned.
I picked up the Spider-Fold puppet, hiding it in my shirt pocket.
“Easy there, you’re crushing me,” Spider-Fold said.
The boy with the origami Anti-Venom ran up to me as the girl who was right next to him ran away, screaming.
“Howard, how could you do this?” Chris said. “You’re my friend.”
“I need to finish what I started. Sound familiar?” the boy named Howard said. He picked Chris off the ground by the shirt and said in perfect unison with the puppet, “We…are Anti-OrigVenom.”
Sloppy Joes Make People Fart
By Ezra, Chris, Cal, Colt, and Karl
We heard Colt accessing Skype. His phone rang.
“I see you contacted our secret weapon,” Ezra said. Howard looked confused.
“Hello, you pentagon-shaped doritos,” Karl Blonsky Jr. said. “Ooh, look, a new dorito! Is that an Anti-Venom puppet? Cool, cool, cool! Oh, and don’t forget, the antidote for Chemical M is liquid soap and water mixed together! Bye!” Aaaand he hung up.
“Wait, what?” Howard said. “An antidote?”
“Yeah! What the weird guy on the phone said!” yelled Chris. “Soap and water!”
Ezra said, “Howard, bud, I’m gonna have to break the truth to you: Sloppy Joes also make people gassy. And after people go the bathroom, they have to…”
“Wash their hands,” Howard said.
Clark woke up. Then Andy did. Then everyone else. That weird kid in the back who’s name is Joe said, “Oh my word, what is in that sloppy joe?” He ran to the bathroom, squealing.
A few other kids walked away, and some even remarked how the new “sauce” on the Sloppy Joe tasted awful.
“But Chris did all the work for me,” Howard said. “Everything was planned! I never expected this!”
“It’s what you get, you little &$*@#%.” Colt snagged the Anti-OrigVenom puppet away from him and crumpled it.
“Let’s take you to the principal’s office,” Ezra said. Just as some people started to walk out of the bathroom, OrigVenom got up, and put Spider-Fold on his finger. “Viva La Revolution, baby!”
As Ezra and Colt escorted Howard away, OrigVenom/Cal and Spider-Fold looked at Chris, who had a sprained ankle from the fall.
OrigVenom/Cal held out his hand. “Everyone deserves a second chance,” he said.
Chris looked up at him and grabbed his hand.
Now, we don’t know if it was the last remaining bits of Chemical M on his hands, but as Chris walked up from the ground with OrigVenom’s help, OrigVenom and Spider-Fold fell to the ground themselves.
“Are you okay?” Chris asked them. Cal responded with, “Thank gosh! That little origami body was ill-fitting!”
“Hey!” OrigVenom said to Cal and Chris. “I’m stuck in the wrong puppet!”
The Epic Conclusion (not really though)
A WEEK LATER…
It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning. Ezra, Cal, Chris, Karl, and I were gathered in Colt’s kitchen again. (Karl was video-chatting with us, which was the norm by now.)
“So, what happened with Howard and Shirley after all that?” Karl asked.
“Shirley just blocked me,” Chris answered. “Howard’s in detention for months. They basically cut off all ties with me.”
“And why did Howard want to become evil in the first place?” Karl asked, while picking his nose.
“I think when I told them about my dilemma and OrigVenom’s powers and everything, I guess Howard became struck with the idea that he could use my plan to get back at Ezra for his own purposes.”
Cal spoke up. “Speaking of nothing, hey Ezra, how’s Samantha?”
“Oh, good, good. We’re good.”
“Well, boys, let’s get to the juice,” Karl said, his questions fulfilled. “OrigVenom’s stuck in Spider-Fold, right? Well…Ezra, bring out the new body.”
I brought out an origami Agent Venom.
“Now, Colt. Put OrigVenom in the bowl. Now pour half a cup of Chemical M in the bowl. Good, you’re doing it well. Now, before you stir, add some churned and then softened extract of cow milk—”
“You mean string cheese,” Colt sneered.
“Yeah, add some string cheese, and then stir. Now, the reason why I’m not letting you guys just pour Chemical M on the puppet is because I’ve realized that is too much of an unstable solution. This new body will finally make OrigVenom not just an anti-hero, but a good guy.”
Colt put a gardening glove on his hand and reached down into the mixture for OrigVenom. He used a blow-dryer to melt the mixture onto the puppet, and threw it to me.
I put the puppet on my finger. “Fits like a glove,” OrigVenom said, and everything had its closure, it seemed. Except for one small thing.
The Epitome of Cal and Ezra’s Friendship
By Cal and Ezra
The next morning, right before school started, Cal tapped Ezra on the shoulder.
“Cal? What is it, dude?” Ezra said.
“Now that everything’s back to normal, and Chris is doing good now, and Karl is doing whatever he’s doing, I’d just like to say that you’re one of my closest friends, Ezra. I’m sorry I hated you.”
“Nah, it’s all okay now. You were willing to take a shot for Colt. One day, you’ll be the best of all of us.”
“I’m not sure I can be the best,” Cal said.
“Then you can be great. With great power comes great responsibility, am I right?”
There was a silence.
Cal broke it by saying, “Hey, do you want to be part of the OriSpider-Verse team?”
“No, no. As a matter of fact, I think I’m starting to form my own team.”
Cal and Ezra looked in front of them. A bully was forcing some poor kid to give him lunch money.
Then, just out of nowhere, Chris popped out from the bushes. The bullied kid ran away, and the actual bully just stood there, about to punch Ezra’s protegé in the face. The bully tried to punch him, but Chris stopped it with his bare hands.
“Who are you, you monster?” he shouted.
“We…are Absolute Carnagami.”
“Dude,” Cal said.
“What?” I asked. Me and Chris was happily showing Cal our new case file that we’d compiled to publicize Absolute Carnagami.
“Howard accidentally caused mass food poisoning, not the entire school being possessed by your puppet.”
“Uh, yeah it did,” I said, confidently. “You were OrigVenom for a long time, that must be why you don’t remember.”
“Chemical M made me loopy, not a totally different person!”
Chris shrugged. “That’s not how I remember it.”
Cal groaned. “Fine, fine, write it however you want. Just know that you guys are totally psycho.”
“Fair enough,” Chris said.