OrigVenom and the Attack of Knulligami
Note from Tilly Waterson, Editor: This story was compiled and edited by Ezra Cronin. Ezra is known for his…interesting viewpoints. Some occurrences may not have happened, but some may be 100% accurate. It’s hard to tell with Ezra.
May 12, 2017…
A figure walked through the thunderstorm without a raincoat or boots on.
“Are we there yet?” a low and grumpy voice said.
“Almost,” the figure replied.
He made his way into the janitor’s closet room.
“Hello, Knull.” Karl Blonsky Jr. was on the other side of the room.
“I prefer Knulligami, if you will.”
The low voice got more impatient. “Are we there yet?!”
Karl Blonsky Jr. continued, “Ah, yes, I already see the effects of our new chemical. Hey, Donny, bring in the new stuff, please.”
A L.I.F.E. Science Club brought out a cardboard box, full of canisters of brightly-colored chemicals.
“We’re experimenting yet again, and we’ve created four new periodic elements!” Blonsky announced. “Chemical N, Chemical O, Chemical P, and Chemical Hall.”
“Chemical Hall? Huh? What does that one do?” the low voice said. He shouted, “TELL US!”
“Hey, can you tell us what that last one does? It sounds different from the others.”
Karl explained, “The Hall is short for Hallucination. We tested it out on a rat, and all it seems to cause is brief hallucinations. The weird thing is, they comes true. We put a chip in the rat’s cornea and watched from its point of view. It was just the rat eating a grape. Here’s the weird bit: the next day, we went back to check on the rat, and one of our associates who didn’t see the rat’s vision was feeding it a grape. It might cause brief flashes of the future!”
“I need that last one,” Knulligami said, picked up the canister. “Here’s the money.” He handed Karl 20 dollars.
Knulligami shattered the glass canister onto his face.
“Mr. Cronin, what do you think you’re doing……I need……Sunday….”
“….Hey! No more big boy fights for you!…”
“….it’s 2019, boi….”
Knulligami woke up.
“In two years’ time,” he said to himself. He turned and gestured to the rest of the L.I.F.E. group. “Two years’ time. I need to go. Thanks again.”
OrigVenom and the Attack of Knulligami
Don’t Mind Me, This Is Just My Totally Normal Life
By Ezra Cronin
“Mr. Cronin, what do you think you’re doing?” said Austin Baker, director of the Kirby King news team. “I need that report on the OrigAvengers by tomorrow!”
“Sorry, Austin,” I said. “Can I email it to you next Wednesday?”
“Next Wednesday?” Austin started to shout, “I don’t have next Wednesday!”
“C’mon, man, I have a date with Samantha soon.”
He sighed deeply. He picked up his latte, poured some salt in it, and started to drink.
I winced. “I’m not sure that’s a wise health choice.”
Austin glared at me. “Listen, Ezra, if you can email it to me by Sunday night, I’ll be happy. Okay?”
I smiled. “Thanks, Austin! See you!”
So, yeah. It’s me, Ezra Cronin, Kirby’s one and only OrigVenom.
Now, I was just a regular school-newspaper reporter, until I was involved in an accident with a strange chemical and a Venom origami finger puppet. I fell in love, defeated the bad guys, and everything turned out fine. Then I had a falling-out with my best friend, I befriended the guy who had my puppet before me, and I gained a new villain, Carnagami. I teamed up with both friends to take him down, and we ended up facing another villain…and I ended up with Carnagami as a sidekick. Since then, life’s been pretty good, and—
Hey, are you a lecturer? OrigVenom said to me. Because if you are, I’m sorry to interrupt this class, Professor of Oxford University, but you’re late! Samantha’s waiting!
Oh yeah, my puppet talks to me sometimes. He’s pretty cool, when he’s not bloodthirsty.
Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no! I gotta get there quick.
So, I took the public bus. Which is, well, not so quick-moving.
Twenty minutes later, I arrived in front of the Bleeker Grocery and Convenience. “Hey, sorry I’m so late,” I said, as soon as I saw my girlfriend, Samantha.
She looked me in the eyes. “Oh, Ezra…it’s okay. You’re just thirty-one minutes, fifteen seconds, and two milliseconds late.”
We both laughed.
“C’mon, let’s walk down the street.”
A while later, as we walked down the West Village, I asked her, “Do you remember when you pranked Elliott with that one weird kid who’s name is Joe?”
“Oh, yeah, Joe’s the best at voice impressions,” she said. “He was mimicking Austin, and Joe told Eilliott to come into his office. And then…”
“When he was gone, we typed an email TO Austin on his computer BADMOUTHING Austin.”
She put her arm around me. “Classic us.”
“Yep, classic us.”
That’s how we roll. Pretty nice, huh?
But then, the next day, something weird happened. Really, really, really weird.
By Cal Largent
Here’s an article I found:
Mysterigami: A Surpringly Promising Villain, Stopped By OrigVenom and Spider-Fold!
Written by Elliott Williams
It looks like Ezra Cronin and Cal Largent have teamed up once more after both have formed their own little groups of heroes. Earlier today, they defeated the new villain Mysterigami around 10:00am in the school gym. What a great save, or else it looks like Mysterigami, who surprisingly stayed anonymous despite several eyewitness reports of people seeing his helmet being taken off, would’ve won.
The next day, Ezra and I were hanging out at the cafeteria, discussing this newest win.
“So, like, all we have to do next time he appears is open a door?” I asked. Ezra shrugged.
“No,” a voice from behind us said. “Not anymore.” We felt needles being poked into our arms.
We were transferred into a dark red landscape. Michael Kasdan appeared in front of us. He took off his helmet. “Hi, guys.”
“You.” I aimed for his head, but Ezra held me back from punching him.
“So Cal, let me just explain why I hate you. You ruined me. Oh, and Ezra, you thwarted me. I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all.”
We were transferred to a landspace that looked almost exactly like the school cafeteria.
“I’m powerful. I can hurt those you love, Cal…”
An illusion of Clark and Lacey appeared. Mysterigami held his hand out at them. All of sudden, their faces started to grow pale.
“Stop now, Michael!”
“…and those you love, Ezra.”
An illusion of me, Samantha, and Chris appeared in front of my friend. Mysterigami did the same thing again, but this time, they started to collapse onto the ground.
Ezra ran all the way up to the fake Samantha. “Samantha? SAMANTHA?”
“I can hurt all those who surround you.”
Michael snapped his fingers, and then there were illusions of my team, the OrigAvengers, and that one weird kid who’s name is Joe.
“Let me demonstrate.”
Mysterigami grabbed onto that one weird kid who’s name is Joe’s shoulder, and he disintegrated. He did the same to Emmett, Jesse, and Andy.
But everything stopped, and everyone disappeared but us three. I saw Michael walk up to Ezra.
“Join me,” he said. “You have great villain potential. Use it.”
“No,” he said.
“Well, then, I guess we should resume what was going on.”
Samantha, Chris, and the fake version of me collapsed onto the ground again.
“Let us go!”
I yelled, “Ezra, it’s a mind trick! I’m right here! That’s just an illusion!”
A duplicate of Michael appeared in front of me, and snapped his fingers. A brick wall appeared in front of us. “He can’t hear you.”
After what felt like forever, he said, “Let’s see what happened, shall we?”
The brick wall collapsed, and Ezra was on the floor, next to his fake loved ones.
I covered my mouth, thinking it was the real thing.
“You failed, Cal. Admit it before THEY get hurt.”
Clark and Lacey were added back.
“Oh right, they just did.”
I started to shed a tear, when he said, “Enough, enough! This was a bad idea. I don’t want these sappy mourning stuff.”
Me and Ezra woke up. We saw the auditorium door open and close.
Ezra growled. “I hate that guy.”
I looked up, groggily. “What kind of stuff did he whammy us with?”
Ezra shrugged, and stood up. “Whatever it was, we should probably go beat him up for it.”
I followed him. “Yeah, couldn’t hurt.”
Not A Real Hero
By Ezra Cronin
Right after we stopped looking at the auditorium door, it seems that the bell had rung, because everyone was in the cafeteria. I spotted Samantha in the crowd of people and hugged her.
We weren’t able to find Michael that day.
The next day, I was trying to get my mind off Michael. So I tried to look for someone to thwart. I decided to get Chris to help me with this specific task. Chris is a newbie hero, so it never hurts to give him some practice.
“What are we doing snooping around before school starts, Ezra?” Chris asked.
“Trying to look for a villain to catch.”
“Why?” he asked, confused.
“Because…um…because I like doing it?”
Worse. Excuse. Ever.
Oh, shut up, dude, or I’ll wash my hands with soap!
Chris looked at me, concerned. “Wow…I think being a hero has taken a toll on you, just a smidge. Maybe you should take a break one of these days. I’m good at my job, I can take over for a bit!”
Oh no. He seriously wasn’t thinking of doing that in case I take a short break from my hero work, was he?
“Nope, never gonna happen until you’re my age,” I said.
Chris glared at me. “You’re only one year older than me. I’m 14, you’re 15.”
“No! No more big boy fights for you!”
We heard a rustling in the leaves.
“Who’s there?” I said, and I got in front of Chris to block him from whatever was there.
You better run, OrigVenom shouted in my head.
I felt someone grab me by the shoulders and throw me onto the hard ground. I blacked out.
Well, not really this time. Less than a second after I went unconscious, I woke up in the janitor’s closet room.
A saw the silhouette of a boy. He looked to be about 16.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“My name is Knulligami. Ezra, for far too long, you’ve cared for people like…like them. Even that Carnage boy is not like you. It’s time to join us.”
Bad guy alert, OrigVenom whispered to me.
The lights in the room brightened. He had messy, overgrown black hair, and a scar across his right cheek. But the most notable thing was that there were hundreds of people around him, holding up origami symbiote puppets.
“Who are you?” I repeated, starting to get just a little nervous.
“Knulligami, Lord of the OrigSymbiotes. That’s what we call ourselves. RIGHT?”
Everyone said in unison, “Yes, Master.”
Told you, OrigVenom said. Let’s get out of here and find Chris.
I looked around, stunned at the amount of kids around him. “You’ve hypnotized half of the school.”
“Yeah, but I gotta admit, I could do better. I have enough strength to do all of the school.”
Huh. That’s kind of weak, OrigVenom said. Hey Ezra, I’ve never told you this, but I myself can posses an entire school. Of course, I won’t…in the next thirty years. After thirty years, I’ll posses a whole school. But right now I won’t.
Shut up, you, I said in my head to him.
“Take this, Knull-i-what-i!” I tried to punch him, but my fist just went through his body.
“None of this is real,” he said. “I think that’s pretty usual for you and your friends. Blacking out and having visions. Wake up, Ezzy Boy. I’ll be seeing you soon.”
I woke up. “Ezra, why did you fall asleep like that?” Chris said, shaking me.
“No reason.” I rubbed my head. “I bet ten bucks that that stuff is the same stuff Mysterigami got me and Cal with.”
You’re on, OrigVenom replied. Then, my stomach rumbled. I’m hungry, really hungry.
I looked at Chris. “Hey, do you have any tater tots with you?”
REALLY Not A Hero
By Ezra Cronin
“Geez,” Chris said to me. “So, like, now we have to deal with this Mysterio cosplayer and someone who secretly has control of half of the school?”
“Oh, c’mon, kid,” Ezra said. “We can easily defeat them all.”
Without me, you can’t, OrigVenom commented.
Shut up or I’ll wash my hands with extra soap!
“Okay,” Elliott said while biting into his sloppy joe. “So, like, honestly, I think you could take on that Mysterigami guy in your sleep, but…” *chewing noises* “…maybe you should let the big guys handle this new Knull character.”
Hey! OrigVenom sounded angry. I can handle this Knulligami person!
You mean “we,” dude.
Yeah, sure. “We.”
“What did you say?” I accidentally knocked my chocolate milk onto the ground.
Elliot nonchalantly took another bite. “Well…the big guys…like the OrigAvengers. You should let them take care of it. I’d trust a single member of that team if they were a part of it.”
An idea came into my head!
I turned to Chris. “Hey, Chris?”
“Well…you know how I’m trying to get my mind off everything right know? Well, I know just the way to do that: I’m going to become an OrigAvenger!”
OrigVenom started laughing in my head. But how do we do that, genius?
It’s easy, pal. We get so good at our job, they take us under their wing.
Oh, yeah, sure. Super easy.
FOUR DAYS LATER…
He was watching the school fence for anything out of the ordinary.
“I know just the trick,” I heard him say. He got a slice of bread from his pocket and threw some crumbs. A few small, brownish gray finches immediately flew down and started pecking on the ground.
The guy scoffed at the birds. “Pff, I don’t want one of you. I want a nice, two-foot-long red-tailed hawk, straight from a skyscraper in Manhattan. Now THAT would look nice as a pillow case, not you.”
I heard OrigVenom mutter, Oh my gosh, I’ve had enough of this.
Me too, pal. Me too.
I decided to reveal myself, and I ran up to Jonathan Zeck, also known as Krease the Hunter.
“Ah, looky here! Ezra Cronin!” He pulled out a black plastic fork from his pocket. He also, by accident, pulled out a fortune cookie from Panda Express, stuck on the end of the fork.
That makes me a little hungry, OrigVenom commented.
No, you’re not going to eat his brains!
It’s fine, I already ate today.
Okay—wait, what WERE you eating, exactly?
I decided to end the conversation. “I see someone got Chinese takeout today. But seriously, Zeck.” I grabbed his fists, the fork in one of them. “Be a little less pathetic.”
I hit him on the cheek with the hand without the fork in it.
“Why are you hitting yourself? Huh, Jonny, why?” I asked, tauntingly.
He pulled his fists away from my grasp. “Let me assure you, Cronin, these are good for a quick stab.”
He tried to stab my hand, but missed.
“Fine, then I guess I do want one of them.” Jonathan looked at one of the finches, and threw the fork. It stabbed the finch’s wing.
Ooh! OrigVenom sounded excited. Free lunch!
Don’t even think about it.
This was going badly. It was time to call in backup. “Oh, it’s time to go, Kreasey Boi. Hey, Chris, come out of you hiding spot!”
Chris jumped out from behind Jonathan and grabbed him by the head.
“You don’t scare me, Fasterman!” Jonathan shouted, trying to get Chris off of his back.
“Yeah, I know. But…they will!” Chris directed Jonathan’s head around to the hallway.
Unfortunately, there was nobody there to scare him. I looked down the hallway, dumbfounded. “What?” I said. “But…but…I saw the OrigAvengers coming down this path a minute ago.”
“Ezra, what’s wrong?” I looked behind me. It was Cal.
Cal noticed Jonathan, still trying to throw Chris off of himself. “Oh, you caught this guy! Good! He’s been a thorn in my side since a few weeks before Artron!”
I smiled as Cal took him away. But then I looked at the injured bird. I picked it up.
“I’m gonna take you home for a few nights. Heal your wing, y’know?” I caressed it’s wing, while Chris looked on at me and the finch. I smiled. “I’ll name you Christopher.”
Just Ezra and Chris Saving The Day…
By Ezra Cronin and Chris Fasterman
“The day is coming when you will be defeated, Morbifold the Living Origami!” I yelled.
“Oh, yeah?” Alexi said. “But you’re all alone!”
Chris tapped his shoulder. He turned around.
“Hey, vampire guy. You wanna drink some blood? Well, then, drink your own.”
“Hi!” Chris said while dodging a punch. “I’m Chris!”
I said, “Well, Chris, his name is Idiot.”
“No!” Barty said. “I am OriTombstone!”
I replied, “Okay, fine. Call yourself that. But don’t call me Shirley!”
“Why, Shirley? Huh? Answer me!”
Oh, that’s it, OrigVenom said.
I put my hands on his shoulders, lifted him a foot off the ground, and brought him eye-to-eye with me.
“We…are OrigVenom. But seriously, don’t call me Shirley.”
We dropped him onto the ground.
Barty started howling. “Ouchie!”
Me, Cal, and Chris surrounded each other as the Montessino quadruplets closed in on us.
“So…who are these guys supposed to be?” Cal asked.
“We are the OriManfredi Crime Family!” one of them said. I couldn’t tell if it was the one named Jacque or the one named Jack.
“Never heard of them.”
Chris quickly explained, “They were those criminal guys fighting Spider-Man in the trailer for Far From Home!”
Cal smirked. “Oh, then this should be right up my ally! Ezra, bogey on your six!”
“What? Come again?”
Ezra, OrigVenom hissed. He meant behind you!
Ooooooh. Okay, then.
I socked either Jacque or Jack in the mouth. Still can’t tell.
“Buenos dias!” Hugo bowed. “Es hora de su ajuste de cuentas, OrigVenom!”
“Okay, Scorpifold,” I said. “I don’t understand Spanish, OK?”
“Que dijiste?” Hugo asked.
“Alright, Chris, this one will be easy.”
Chris came running, but Hugo grabbed his arm. “Dos simbiontes para matar hoy, ¡me gusta!” Hugo shouted, victoriously.
Chris tried to slap him in the face, but Hugo just dropped him onto a nearby meadow. Just joking, Hugo dropped Chris onto the hard cement floor.
“Ah…my everything hurts…again…”
“You’ll pay for that!” I shouted.
“¡Y pagarás por pisar la Tierra, amigo mío!”
“Wait…I just realized…I can do what you did, but stronger!”
I pulled him three or four feet off of the ground, holding him by his head.
“¡Por favor, Christo, por favor, me disculpo, me disculpo, me disculpo!”
By Ezra Cronin and Cal Largent
I was reading a book in my bedroom. Everything was peaceful. I was just a bit sore from all my recent crime fighting, but more than that I felt very accomplished. There was no way the OrigAvengers would overlook me, now! Christopher, who I’d been taking care of since the Kraven guy, was chirping like a normal little finch. My desk was messy with books, as always. Then I took OrigVenom out of my back-pocket and put him on my desk.
So, like, why did we let Hugo go? he asked, still talking in my brain.
Well, I don’t know what ‘Por favor, The Scarred One, ¡esta falla se puede solucionar’ means.
Wait…scarred one? Who are we aware of that has a scar?
I remembered the ugly, white scar on the right cheek of…well…
“Knulligami!” I jumped around the room, now talking in my regular voice. “Knulligami hired Hugo! Maybe a few of the other villains, too! So if we take down Knulligami, we take them all down, and we become OrigAvengers!”
Very flawed logic. But then I heard OrigVenom laugh. I love it! Let’s go!
Ezra Cronin: Wow, What A Hero!
Written by Cal
This week, the student known as Ezra Cronin, Kirby’s one and only Lethal Origami Protector, decided to step up and just…care take of every villain in the school! Yeah, most of them are all caught by now! Well, at least all the ‘on-brand’ Spider-Man villains. However, Ezra hasn’t been spotted at Kirby during school time for two days already. What has happened to our rising hero, and is he safe?
But, I knew where he was, because I have the privilege of being his friend.
Ezra, Chris, Aiden and I were right outside the school.
“You sure you don’t want to go today, Ezra?” I asked him.
Ezra nodded, resolutely. “I’m confident that I’m just going to break into the closet room, find Knulligami, Aiden’s gonna give him a good beating, and I’ll be an OrigAvenger by tomorrow. Simple as that.”
I sighed. “You know…you’re my best friend, Ezra. I invite you to play Fortnite—though you always refuse, you always chill with me and the gang, and you’re a good guy. But just because you make sure all of the other heroes don’t have anyone to fight, that doesn’t mean you become part of the team.”
“Oh, pff,” Ezra scoffed. “Artron’s an OrigAvenger now because they wanted to keep a darn eye on him!”
I saw Ezra put on his game face. “Ready?”
Yep. OrigVenom sounded ready.
(By the way, Ezra and Karl said that something happened when OrigVenom took control of my body, and now Chemical M is permanently mixed into my veins or something. So, I guess I can hear OrigVenom now. Yay…?)
Ezra leaped up three feet into the air and grabbed the fence. He climbed over and jumped all the way down, without a scratch.
Wow, what a rush, OrigVenom said.
Next, I climbed. Then Aiden. Then Chris.
We walked across half of the school to the closet room.
“KAMIKAZE!” Ezra ran through the door, breaking it in the process.
Inside, there was Knulligami. He had really overgrown, sweaty-looking black hair and a deep scar on his right cheek. He was wearing one of those bad boy-type leather jackets.
Knulligami didn’t look surprised, however. He seemed downright happy to see us. “OrigVenom, OrigVenom, does whatever an OrigVenom can,” he said, humming creepily. He slowly walked over to us, his shoes tapping against the floor.
“I…have been waiting…two years………Ezraaa!”
He threw Ezra across the room and he fell onto the floor.
“AHHHHHH!” my best friend screamed.
It hurts. So. Badly, OrigVenom groaned.
Knulligami grabbed Chris’s arm.
No one puts their hand on Chris if I have anything to say about it.
Chemical N, O, and P
By Ezra Cronin
“Let. Go. Of. The. Kid,” I growled.
Knulligami looked at me and let go of Chris’s arm. He pushed me to the floor. “Ah! Everything hurts,” I moaned.
We say that too often, OrigVenom said.
“Don’t worry, Ezra, I’ll beat this punk for you!” Aiden said, and he jumped at Knulligami, ready to tackle him. Aiden latched onto Knulligami, who tried to shake Aiden off his back.
“Take this, suckers!” Knulligami screamed, and he quickly took a bottle of green liquid and mashed it onto the ground. It dissolved into gas, and we all started to breath it in.
Aiden and Chris disappeared. Only Cal and I were left. But I blinked, and when I opened my eyes, Cal was wearing a pretty accurate-looking Spider-Man costume.
“What the heck?” I said. But my voice was deep and low. Not my voice. I looked down. My hands and feet were black and slimy.
“Hey, Cal—is that you, man?” my Venom voice asked.
“Yes.” Phew, it was Cal’s voice. But then he took off his mask.
“AHHH! Tom Holland?”
Cal grinned. “Awesome! I’m Tom Holland!”
“I see you’re enjoying yourselves.” That was Knulligami’s voice. Everything turned back to normal. Me, Cal, Aiden, and Chris were back with Knull in the utility closet. “That was called Chemical O. The O stands for ‘optical illusion.’ That wasn’t really real.”
“Aww,” Cal said. “Can I be Tom Holland again, at least?”
“NO!” Knulligami sounded mad, all of a sudden. “I have two others up my sleeve—Chemical N and Chemical P—let’s try the first one!”
Another gas filled the room. But this time, all four of us stayed, and everything was the same.
Nothing happened. But then I started to cry for no apparent reason. “YOU…” I pointed at Cal, “…ALWAYS NEGLECT ME AND IGNORE ME AND I HATE YOUR GUTS AND WAAHHHHHHHH!”
“I HATE YOU, TOO!” Cal cried.
“YOU GUYS ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE KID,” Chris said.
“WAAAAAAAAAAH!” Aiden yelled.
We all stopped crying at the same second. We started to wipe away our tears when Knulligami said, “That…now that is Chemical Neglect. It’s a strange one. All is does is make you have a short tantrum about how you hate people who are important in your life. But this last one, Chemical P, will surely be a doozy!”
A third gas spread around the room, and a peacock appeared next to Chris, snuggling up next to him.
“What the—Ezra, explain this!”
I walked up to Chris and waved my hand in front of the peacock. It started to pan out its feathers in fear of me when it faded away into thin air.
“That…that’s probably Chemical Peacock.”
“Yes, it certainly is, and it’s a perfect distraction!”
We looked out the door. Knulkigami was climbing over the gate, and then he ran away.
“Darn you, Chemical Peacock,” Chris muttered.
“…I wanna be Tom Holland again…” Cal said, quietly.
Cal and Ezra: Far From New York
By Ezra Cronin, Cal Largent and Aiden Mitchells
Ezra: Testing, testing. Is this thing on? I think it’s on. We’re just recording all of this on some dumb recorder we bought on eBay from kcampbell999, and Chris is just gonna transcript it all down later on. And on an unrelated note, man, that dude has a lot of recorders.
Cal: But anyways, the point is…Spring Break was coming up, and we still had to deal with a guy in a mediocre Mysterio cosplayer and that oh-so-mysterious Knulligami. Also, to top it all off, Ezra wanted to become an OrigAvenger. But we found a way to blow off some steam!
Ezra: Me, Aiden, and Chris were invited on a four-day vacation with the Largent family! Well, three-and-a-half days. We still had to travel back to New York.
Cal: Guess where we went? Can you guess? [starts chuckling]
Aiden: I’ll tell them, I’ll tell them. [gets closer to the recorder] Virginia! It looked like Karl was going to have a few surprise visitors!
CHRIS’S NOTE: So, well, after this it abruptly cuts to Friday morning, when they left New York.
Clark: Get in, Cal. Yeah, you too, Cal’s little Venom friend. Wait…wait…Aiden? Aiden, are you recording me? You litte-
[cuts to what sounds like them driving on the freeway in heavy traffic, based on all of the honking]
Ezra: Hey, Clark?
Clark: Yeah, Cal’s little Venom friend?
Ezra: You’re the leader of the OrigAvengers, right? Co-leader? Assistant leader?
Clark: Well, I mean, practically, yeah. I came way before Andy, months before, really, but I gotta say—
Ezra: Great! So I was thinking, uh, I’ve been taking care of all the villains in Kirby these past few weeks. And if you’ve read the comics, Agent Venom—and the OrigVenom puppet I currently have is an Agent Venom puppet—joined the Secret Avengers at one point!
Clark: Cut to the chase.
Aiden: Ezra. Ezra. [sound of Ezra getting closer to Aiden and whispering “What?”] I…um…need to go. Like, y’know, GO. Now, if you’re wondering.
Ezra: [shouts] Hey, Cal’s mom? Well, er…
CHRIS’S NOTE: Now it cuts to them arriving at some Virginia hotel.
Cal’s uncle, whatever his name is: Hey, where’s my bed?
Clark and Ezra simultaneously: Dibs on this bed! [sound of heads turning, probably to each other]
Cal: Well, I got dibs on the master bed.
Aiden: Ms. Largent, can I sleep on the couch? It can unfold!
Cal’s uncle, whatever his name is: Hey, I had dibs on the couch!
Ms. Largent: [zips open luggage] Now this is why I packed a sleeping bag. Aiden, you’re on the floor. Cal, I guess we have to share now. [laughing]
Cal: Excuse me for a moment. [steps into bathroom and gently closes the door]
Cal: [sound of muffled “AHHH!”s and “GAAAAAH!”s]
Cal’s uncle, whatever his name is: [faint snoring]
CHRIS’S NOTE: Sorry for all of the captions so far, Ezra, but wow. Cal and his family (and Aiden, a little bit) scream a lot. It cut to them in Karl Blonsky Jr.’s house.
Karl: Hey, sad bois! You came! And it seems one of you three Doritos brought a recorder? Are you recording me? Hello, world! I love you, world!
Ezra: Yep, Karl! Guess what?
[Ezra shoves what sounds like a thermos water bottle into Karl’s mouth]
[sound of Ezra removing water bottle from Karl’s mouth]
Karl: [gasps] Good heavens, what was that? The last thing I remember was running away, talking about…squirrels, I think? Oh my gosh, I—wait. Wait, wait, wait. Where am I? Ezra? Ezra, is that you, punk? The smaller Largent kid, too? And who is this holding the recorder?
Karl: Hey, where’s Project 2-1-X?
Karl: Walters? Walters? Where are you, Walters? Ah, geez, I think I remember her joining your side and making out with you, Ezra. Am I correct?
Ezra: Yep! Basically, you were affected by Chemical M, you moved back to Virginia with your mother and your father, and you’re now our friend, and at often times, receptionist.
Ezra: Sometimes when me and the dudes are hanging out in the lab *cough* Aiden’s kitchen *cough*, you take any calls on our phones that we get.
Karl: What. The. Heck.
Ezra: But, well, we need your help finding out about this guy called Knulligami.
Karl: Poe? Oh, sure, I’ll tell you about Poe.
Aiden: [whispers] Poe?
The Story of Poe Maddealerson, Project 1-1-X
By Karl Blonsky Jr.
Poe Maddealerson was before any of your time, my young friends. Goodness, he was the most popular kid in school. The one with the hot girlfriend, Amy, the one with the most friends, and oh, that smooth black hair.
Meanwhile, me and my team had just won the science fair for making the best model rocket anyone could’ve ever seen, well, ever. But behind the scenes, we were experimenting with banned, and often dangerous, chemicals.
Some people volunteered, thinking it would be fun. The first one to do it, though, would be Poe. The best kid on the block. Looking back on it, it was probably because I was his best friend.
Right before this testing, he was kissing Amy about 1,000 times, saying, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. You know me, Amy. If anything, this will probably improve my kissing skills.”
“No, you’re already the best at it,” Amy said, and she walked away. Poe waved goodbye.
This is what they sounded like all the time, and yes, it was infuriatingly disgusting.
“Ready, Poe?” I asked.
He nodded and smiled. He followed me into the lab. Left and right, everyone was pouring this onto that and this into that.
He entered a room with just a chair, a walkie-talkie. and a disposable Kirkland water bottle. It had a one-sided window that we could see through, but he couldn’t.
I closed and locked the door. Through the walkie-talkie I had, I said, “Okay, Poe. Just drink the bottle. Yeah, every last drop.”
I heard someone picking up the bottle, and the sound of slurping. Soon after, I heard a lot of grunting and shirting. It sounded like someone was about to step onto the walkie-talkie when the other end went static.
“Poe?” I said, worried about my close friend. “Poe?”
My assistant, Donny, unlocked the door in a rush. Poe burst out, his hair messy and his leather jacket ripped. He growled into the air like some creature.
“Woah, Poe, slowly down there,” I commented, putting my hand out at him like Owen putting his hand out to the raptors in Jurassic World.
He growled again and threw me across the room. I bumped into the thick glass of the one-sided window, not breaking it at all.
He started to put his hands against his face, whimpering. He then scratched his right cheek, and a deep scar appeared, with a lot of blood coming out of it. He screamed into the air and broke out of the lab.
After that, his scar grew crusty and white. Amy broke up with him, of course. I’m still in contact with her, though, and we talk occasionally on the phone. He became basically the least popular kid in school.
He kept coming back to me for more of the chemical, and he started to use those chemicals for evil purposes. I started making new chemicals, and you bet it just sprouted into him wanting those instead. The janitor’s closet room was our main meeting place.
One day, I showed him four new chemicals: N, O, P, and Hall. He tried out Hall, thanked me for it, left with the three other chemicals, and never came back. I checked day after day in the closet room, but my former best friend would never appear.
“That is really interesting,” Ezra said, “but we gotta go now. Right, guys? Right?”
“Yeah. Yeah,” Aiden said, nervously.
To Lighten The Mood…
By Aiden Mitchells
Aiden: [whispers into recorder] It’s one in the morning. We went to sleep hours ago, and I’ve gotta say, things have been very silent between me, Ezra and Cal since we talked to Karl about Knulligami—er, Poe. To lighten the mode, though, I have recorded what’s happening right now, at this very second, in our hotel room.
[sound of shaking recorder]
Cal: [muttering in sleep] Oh, hey Lacey…
[sound of shaking recorder]
Cal’s uncle, whatever his name is: [snores loudly]
Aiden: The only other people whois awake, aside from me, are Clark and Ezra. Let’s listen to them.
Ezra: Can I be an OrigAvenger?
Ezra: Can I, Clark, can I, can I?
CHRIS’S NOTE: After this it cut to three in the morning.
Aiden: [sound of slurping] Wow, this coffee is really good. But I don’t think I did a good job of taping Clark’s bag of coffee beans shut again.
Clark: Wait, what did you say? [gets out of bed]
Ezra: [stops snoring] Wait? What? OrigVenom, Cal, Aiden, was that you? Oh, well… [starts snoring again]
CHRIS’S NOTE: Then it cuts to six-thirty in the morning. I decided not to transcript the first part of this segment, because it was just Ezra announcing it was almost six-thirty while I was greeted to the sound of pancake-flipping and bacon-grilling. He then proceeded to hum “Venom” by Eminem as I heard the sound of him taking out plates from a drawer and him burning his finger on the grill.
Clark: Lesson learned: never let Cal invite any of his friends to a vacation ever again—
Ezra: Hey, guys, I made breakfast! [slams tray on table]
Clark: You know, maybe that one’s not bad, though.
Me And The Boys Defeating Mysterigami (kinda)
By Ezra Cronin
It was a few weeks after Spring Break. I had basically forgotten about Poe and the first Chemical M experiment ever when I was having lunch with Chris, Cal, and the OriSpider-Verse.
“Hey!” Colt shouted. “Give me that ketchup packet, [CENSORED] piggy!”
“Only if you stop mocking my last name,” Emmet said.
Good defense, I gotta admit, OrigVenom said.
“Guys, chill,” Chris said. He gave Coltanother condiment packet. “Here.”
Colt read the label on the packet. “Relish?” he asked, angrily. Chris busted out laughing and jumped out of his seat.
Colt got up from the table and ran after Chris, who fled into the halls.
. “I’ll get you, Fasterman!”
“So…can I have Aiden’s lunch now?” Emmet asked.
Everything seemed perfect. Michael’s attack on me and Cal happened weeks ago by now, and Knulligami hadn’t struck again. It was just me, Chris, Cal and his team against the world yet again. But…
Behind you, OrigVenom shouted to me. Ezra, you idiot, behind you!
I turned around. Michael was about to punch me in the face when I gripped onto his fist with all of my might. “Not so fast, Kasdan.”
Cal and his team surrounded Micheal.
“Is that a new thing?” Lacey asked me. “You sensing who’s behind you and stuff?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I’m going to call it my Ezra-tingle,” I replied.
“Hey, you’re copying Spider-Man,” Cal said. “Not cool, man.”
Michael stepped a few feet away. “Cal Largent, you and your best friend, Ezra Cronin, ruined my life at that darn Halloween party that Clark threw last year. It’s time to pay.”
“All I did was open a door!” I said.
“No, you inadvertently caused my downfall at the Halloween party because you got me kicked off the L.I.F.E. Science Club…in fact, you got us all kicked off that club,” Michael explained.
“Well, we can make it better,” I said as he started to corner me. “You don’t have to use your mind-controlling chemicals and needle-induced hallucinations for bad deeds. What happens after we’re defeated? Do you suddenly earn all the respect and attention you once had back?”
Good point, OrigVenom commented. But let’s eat his brains now.
Shut up, man!
Michael looked down. He thought for a moment, and he backed away. “You’re right. I need to be like the movie version of Mysterio. A good guy!”
“Well, we don’t know that movie Mysterio will be a good guy-” Aiden started. I kicked him in the shin.
I nodded at him. “Welcome to the team.”
He glanced at me. “The team?” he said. “But I don’t have a spider-related puppet.”
“Not the OriSpider-Verse, silly,” I replied “My team.”
Our team! OrigVenom yelled. Our!
Colt and Chris finally came back, Colt holding Chris by the shirt, literally lifting him off the ground. (That kid is strong.) Colt and Chris waved at Michael. Michael slowly waved back.
“I want to accept, and I will,” Michael said. “But I’m only joking the team for a while. Then I’m going to go off on my own, be a hero in my own right. Or, who knows, maybe a villain again if Aaron will return my calls…” He was quiet for a moment. “Oh, and on an unrelated note, I know of Knulligami and his plan.”
“What?” I screamed. “Tell us everything! Forget about leaving the team after a while! Just tell!”
“I will tell,” Michael said, and he cleared his voice. “So he hired me to torture you and Cal for a little bit with my new-and-improved Chemical H! Instead of controlling the weak-minded and infiltrating their thoughts, the new Chemical H made any type of person weak-minded so I can control their thoughts!”
He took a deep breath. He continued. “I was happy to torture you and Cal for a little while while getting paid for it. Best thing ever, am I right? In exchange, I lent him a few canisters of the newer Chemical H. I dunno what he did with it, though.”
I gasped. I told Michael, “He’s used Chemical H to mind-control half of the school secretly. We need to get his attention somehow…”
Cal said, “I know! What about we throw a party, just like the Halloween one from last year!”
How original, OrigVenom said, sighing right after.
“Good idea,” I said, and added, “but the only big holiday in April is Easter, and it passed.”
“Administrative Professionals Day is coming up!” Cal said excitedly.
Owen facepalmed. “That’s just a small public holiday to celebrate secretaries.”
Emmet said, “Not bad, Cal, but we’re going to have to act fast. It’s April 22nd, and Admissions Day is in just two days!”
They’re probably not going to accept it, OrigVenom blatantly said. Let’s goooo! I love this idea!
By Ezra Cronin and Colt Melville
“No,” Harrison said. “Why should I?”
“Because, well, we really like secretaries?” I said. Me and Colt had gone to ask Harrison to let us have a party. He didn’t seem enthused. “I mean, Emily is pretty hot-”
Harrison’s eyes narrowed. “First off, Emily is the Vice President. Second, isn’t she dating your best friend’s brother?”
Just a moment later, I was in the waiting room. Chris and Cal’s team were waiting.
“How’d it go?” Chris asked.
“Um, so, er, they’re not accepting the idea of an Administrative Professionals Day party. It’s one of the smallest holidays ever,” I replied.
Cal clapped. “Ezra, you’ve known me for a long time. I know my ways. I can hook us up with a party. As a matter of fact…”
Cal opened the door slowly, to make sure it didn’t creak one bit. Harrison was arguing with a reporter from the Kirby King.
“Is it true that Wheeler and Kirby are started to make peace with each other?” The reporter asked.
“I will neither confirm or deny that Wheeler and Kirby are starting to calm down about each other.”
Cal closed the door slowly.
“See?” he said.
“I say you walk politely in there,” Owen said, “and start to butter up Harrison with compliments. Maybe a gift basket full of desserts and jams and jelly, too. Soon, you start to get to business. Talk about statistics, how both of our schools are starting to end this long-standing war. You know?”
Emmet had fallen asleep.
“I’mma do it, losers,” Colt said. He rushed through the doors.
“Oh no. We’re doomed,” Owen said, and he went back into his chair and picked up his National Geographic magazine.
Yeah, yeah, it’s Aiden Mitchells. The guy who technically had OrigVenom before the guy who currently is OrigVenom. I ran into Harrison’s office and sat myself down.
“What the—who is this?” he asked.
“Listen, bub,” I began. “Wheeler and Kirby have been at war for a lot of years, right? But now, thanks to a little help from Kirby and Wheeler’s many heroes, everything’s fine.”
He started to say, “Well, they have also caused—”
“We’re improving. The war is almost at its end. Both schools have contributed to how far we’ve gotten…so maybe we could throw a party to celebrate.”
“I guess that would be okay.” He started to think. “Auditorium?”
“Sure. Make it April 24th, by the way. No particular reason. I mean, you get my drift, right? A party for both Kirby and Wheeler? A peace kind of party? A Peace Party?”
“Er…” He told me to leave for a minute so he could think. I did so. After ten minutes, I started to think, I can’t take this anymore.
I went back into the room. “So what’s it gonna be, hmm? The party…” I cracked my knuckles. “Or my first?”
Harrison groaned. “PARTY, fine. Party. Definitely party.”
Ezra’s Note: So it turns out Colt is really good at negotiating. Who knew.
May 13, 2017…
This time it wasn’t just rain, but a thunderstorm. Oh, brother.
Hey, the low and grumpy voice of OriGrendel, a puppet, said. Are we there yet?
“You’ve already asked me this 11 times in the last five minutes,” Knulligami said. “We’re almost there.”
Poe, OriGrendel started. We visit the shed for new chemicals every Thursday, not every single day.
“I had a vision,” Knulligami started to explained. “A boy named Ezra Cronin, 10th grade, will defeat us in two years’ time.”
I stepped into the room.
Finally! OriGrendel started to yawn. Let’s take a nap here.
“See, if I want to win against him, I need a plan. I have two years to form a plan. Good, right? But you’re such a whiner, that I can’t concentrate with you.”
Knulligami took a bottle of water out of his pocket and threw it on his hands. Then, he took out a liquid soap dispenser from his other pocket, and poured some soap onto the hands.
OriGrendel started to panic. Poe…Poe…if you get rid of me, I’ll die. Gone. Forever. I have no other person I’ve ever possessed to go to, other than you. Poe. POE. POOOOOE. POOOOOEEEE…
Poe Maddealerson, also known as Knulligami, laughed as OriGrendel’s voice drained from his head.
“Good. No distractions.”
The New Ezra Cronin
By Ezra Cronin
As I was working at my desk, someone tapped my left shoulder.
I turned around, and in her usual sweet voice, Samantha said, “Hey, honey!”
I smiled. “Oh, hi, honey! What are you doing at my desk? You usually don’t come here unless you want to pull a prank on Elliott or Austin.”
She giggled. “Yeah, I know. But…guess who’s in charge of that ‘Peace Party’ coming next week? The student council informed me today that some anonymous client, known as MelvilleOnAMotorCycle72 or something, recommend me to be in charge!”
We talked for a little while before Austin shooed her back to her desk.
Wow. My girlfriend’s in charge of the party. That makes things a bit more complicated.
Later, I was reading a book in my bedroom. Christopher was chirping loudly.
“Would you stop it?” I asked my pet.
Yeah! OrigVenom said. I had took him out of my pocket again and placed him on my desk. Or I’ll eat your braaaaains!
Christopher’s chirping got louder. It got to the point until it seemed like he was warning me of something.
Hey, OrigVenom? I asked.
I need to squeeze you.
Soon I was squeezing OrigVenom like a hand towel, and all of the Chemical M on him came into my water bottle.
I heard the bottle say, You better not give that dumb bird all of my body juice.
“Okay, Christopher, open up!” I yelled. I splashed just a little bit of OrigVenom’s juices onto the bird.
“BEHIND YOU!” Christopher, the now talking bird, shouted. “EZRA, BEHIND—”
I blacked out.
Knulligami. All of his hundreds of minions. Closet room. But this time Knulligami was sitting on some type of throne. And this time, I literally had OrigVenom in my hands. He was still in the water bottle.
“Nice chair,” I said.
“You came. I guess it’s time to start the show,” he replied.
All of his army disappeared, one by one, two by two.
What’s going on? OrigVenom asked through the bottle.
Knulligami disappeared. I was transferred to Kirby, but judging by the posters on the walls it was 2017, my last year of middle school. It was a sunny day. Knulligami was kissing some blonde right in front of me. But his leather jacket wasn’t ragged, and his hair was smooth and neat, like Karl had described it. He had no scar, and he was a little younger, and a little shorter. Just a little.
It morphed into him walking into a room.
I know that room, I thought. The L.I.F.E. Science Club!
It then transformed into him with a big, bloody scar on his cheek, his hair started to mess up, the collar of his jacket ripped. He threw a young Karl Blonsky Jr., wearing a thick-looking white lab coat, a couple feet into the air and into a wall.
It became a vision of Chris, stealing a hoodie that didn’t even fit him. He went into a group of trees bundled up together. Inside, I saw him color Karl’s old Riot puppet red messily. It started to zoom in on the trees, and there was Knulligami behind them. writing something down.
It went back to Knulligami kissing his past girlfriend. His head was down. When he looked up at me, it wasn’t his face. It was mine.
“Good, good!” Knulligami said, laughing his evil laugh. The hallucination stopped and it finally became Knulligami and his many, many goons once more. “Ezra, Ezra…Venom is meant to be a villain. Don’t you realize that? No matter what happens in the comics, games, shows or movies…he’s a bad guy. Soon you’ll be one as well. Seize OrigVenom’s essence.”
One of the students in his army snatched the bottle away.
Help! OrigVenom said. Ezra! Help! Heeeeelp!
As two of his cronies grabbed me by the arms hard, I saw a few of his other soldiers move out of the way to reveal a mixing pot, full of a mysterious purple liquid.
Ezra! OrigVenom cried. I’m one of your best friends, I’m that shoulder you can always cry on, please, please, please!
“I said…corrupt it!” Knulligami ordered. “Now!”
The student holding the bottle uncapped it and mixed it in with the pot’s liquid. I heard muffled screams and shouting in the mixture, which then turned silent.
Knulligami laughed. “Welcome to the OrigSymbiotes, Ezra. Call me Poe.”
Spider-Fold vs. OrigVenom
By Colt Melville
This was going to be good. I already knew it when Ezra punched Cal in the stomach and held out his new puppet: an origami Todd McFarlane Venom. The true version of an evil Venom.
I’m going to separate this little paragraph from the rest of this, because, well, enjoy a comic-accurate fight between Spider-Man and Venom. I mean, Cal and Ezra. Actually, no. I think I’ll switch up the names, too. I’mma have a little fun with this [CENSORED] dilemma. (Cal is Peter and Ezra is Eddie, obviously.)
“Alright, big guy, calm down,” Peter said. “You just punched me in the gut, and I had sloppy joes today. You don’t want me to throw all that up into your face, right?”
“You will be hurt today, Parker,” Eddie announced.
Eddie threw his webs (in real life, Ezra just kicked Cal a bunch of times in places that wouldn’t hurt a lot and—wow, now that I think about it, Evil Ezra is dumber than Real Ezra) at Peter, but he blocked and struck Eddie on the face.
“You need any help?” Gwen (that would be Lacey) asked as Eddie shoved Peter onto a nearby bench.
“Nope…fine…but my everything hurts…” Peter replied, weakly.
“I’ll help!” Carnage (Chris) said. Eddie threw his webs out at his offspring (Ezra kicked Chris once in the hand, and weakly this time), but the symbiote cornered Brock. Carnage’s hand turned into a sword (he clenched his hand into a fist) and—BAM!
“Alright…Flash, I need you to—Colt? Colt, what are you writing down?” Gwen—er, Lacey asked me.
Darn it, I had to come back to the real world.
“I think our friend here needs a bit of explaining to do,” Octavius, um, Owen said, taking my notepad. “Peter…Eddie…Carnage…guys, he was documenting Cal and Ezra’s fight with the names of the comic characters we’re supposed to be, and in fact, I’m not an avid comic book reader, obviously, but it seems to me like Doctor Octopus in the body of Peter Parker was one of the most intelligent characters to ever be drawn onto the—”
“We get it, nerd,” I said, taking back my notepad. “Well, Ezra’s passed out. Let’s see what’s wrong with—”
Before we could figure out what was wrong with our dear friend, he woke up and barfed up a bunch of purple vomit.
“I…am going to be sick,” Claire said. “I’ll, uh…go find Nurse Summers.” Claire left, heading for the nurses office.
Owen put on kitchen gloves. “I always carry these two bad babies around, just in case.”
He ran one of his fingers through the purple goop, smelled it, and observed.
“We’re going to be here all day,” I began, and I facepalmed.
“I’ve got it!” Owen shouted. “It seems that Ezra here experienced another vision from this Maddealerson character, who may have ‘corrupted’ the most definitely made-up character in Cronin’s subconscious, OrigVenom, and put it back inside Ezra via force-feeding, therefore ‘corrupting’ him. Wake up, Ezra, wake up.”
“So THAT’S why he’s always talking to himself,” Lacey said.
“Can someone explain it in English?” Aiden exclaimed, confused.
“Same for me,” Emmet said.
Owen sighed. “For non-intellectuals like you two, I’ll explain it in a different way…ORIGVENOM GO BAD…‘KNULLIGAMI’ POISON EZRA WITH BAD ORIGVENOM…BAD EZRA ATTACK US.”
“Huh,” Aiden said, simply.
“Never…ever…speak…like…that…again,” Emmet said. “Okay, this is too weird for me. Peace out, players.”
By approximately 327 mind-controlled people
[SECURITY TAPE A113]
[JAN. CLOSET ROOM, 9:30PM]
Unknown man with leather jacket: *snaps fingers*
[tens of hundreds of people appear]
Unknown girl: Wait, what am I doing here?
Unknown boy: Yeah, what is this?
Unknown boy 2: Let us out!
Unknown man with leather jacket: SILENCCCCCE! *snaps finger for second time*
[everyone in the crowd starts slouching, various grunting noises as they walk around each other]
Unknown man with leather jacket: Yes, yes. Dance for me, my royal army. I am Knulligami, Lord of the OrigSymbiotes, and YOU WILL NOT WATCH US!
[unknown man with leather jacket pounces for camera, recording goes static]
The Day of the Party
By Ezra Cronin
I won’t let Knulligami ruin this, I thought. I won’t let him hurt Samantha, Chris, anyone.I won’t.
But what if I let him hurt them?
No, no, don’t think that way.
I…I…I’ve got this.
“Good morning!” I said to Christopher. He used to talk in full, proper sentences, but now he usually speaks like a parrot. I’ve got a parrot-finch now, I guess. A pinch. (Hey, that was a pretty good pun!)
“Morning! Morning!” he shouted. “It’s the day of the party!”
“I know,” I said. I was going to say hi to everyone today, because I was just that exicted.
“Good morning, little bro!” I said to my little 4-year-old brother, Tom.
“Good morning, brotha,” he said in his little developing voice.
“Morning, Mom! Morning, Dad!” I called to my parents as I left the house.
“Hello, Cal! Sorry for that fight yesterday, man.”
“Watch your language, Colt!”
“Howdy, that one weird kid who’s name is Joe!”
“Morning, Owen! Did you learn anything new about Kant or Aristotle last night?”
“Morning, Emmet! How’s the family? How’s the ketchup packet?”
“Claire, good morning! How’s the family?”
Today was going to be a good day.
In Various Places Around The Eastern Side Of The United States…
By Chris Fasterman, and Karl Blonsky Jr.
Ezra had given us a task to get Karl to the Peace Party, but I had no idea how. So, I asked Michael, since he seemed to be used to underhanded methods. He had an idea immediately.
“Oh, this is so mean,” I said to me, as he showed me the note he’d written.
“I know Karl,” he replied. “And he’s mentioned that Amy person many, many excruciating times. This is half getting-him-here, half payback. I even included a quote from The Office.”
I quickly scanned the note that he wrote for Karl.
“Oh no,” Chris muttered.
Hi. Karl Blonsky Jr. here.
Well, it seems now I have a presence on Reddit. What else did my goofier self do? Oh, it looks like I constantly give likes to Aiden Mitchells’ Reddit posts.
“Karl, you’ve gotten mail!”
My dad put his hand in my room and tossed an envelope from…New York?…onto my bed.
I shut off my computer, and went over to the envelope. I slowly and gently opened it.
It read, “Dear, Karl. Hi, it’s me, Amy. Thanks for supporting me all these years since the breakup. But now, I think I’m ready to move on. I think I have the courage to say that I’ve fallen in love with you. It’s true, Karl. Come to New York in a one day. The most preferable for me would be, maybe, April 24th. Please hug me when you see me. I’m too shy to tell you that I love you. Love, Amy.”
I looked up from the note.
“Hey, Mom? Dad?”
Afterwards, I was telling Michael, “Hey, so, I bailed Howard Sneazelman out of detention.”
“Why and how?” Michael asked.
“Well, Howard seemed ready to help once I got him out,” I said, shrugging. “Oh, and I gave the teacher a ‘get out of jail free’ card from Monopoly. Everybody will be at the Party. It’ll be awesome.
The Big Attack…
By Ezra Cronin
Just an hour before the party, me and Samantha were strolling down the corridor.
C’mon, tell her, OrigVenom said. For my sake.
“So will they be pretzel sticks?” I asked.
“That’s your first question?” she said.
“I’m just wondering,” I replied. “So, well, pretzel sticks or not?”
We heard the marching of two feet. Then four. Six? Eight? Oh God no. Twenty? Fourty? A hundred? A hundred and ten? A hundred and fifty? Two hundred? Three hundred?
Your math skills are amazing, OrigVenom groaned.
It was Knulligami’s army, ready to strike me down. How did I know that? They were holding tiny plastic forks from Panda Express. Savages.
“Out of the way, out of the way,” a commanding voice ordered.
Knulligami appeared, with a spork in his hands. Oh, boy. Biggest of them all.
But it looks like he had readied his looks for battle, too. He was wearing a fine-looking black cloak, he had combed and gelled his hair for probably the first time in two years, and he had…flattened his scar? Wow. You know, all of that made him kind of look like Kylo Ren.
“Time to join us, or else, Ezra,” Poe said.
“What the heck is going on?” Samantha asked, supremely confused. “Who are all these people?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. I turned to face Knulligami. “You’ll fail, Poe. You have an army…but I have myself.”
“No,” a voice said behind me. “You have us.”
Karl appeared, with OriRiot in his hands. “Thought you might need some help. Where’s the fight?”
Cal and his friends, too. “Hey, Ezra,” Cal said.
Behind Cal was the OriSpider-Verse team, with Howard Sneazelman in front, holding Anti-OrigVenom. “I’m on your side now. Don’t worry.”
He walked over to Samantha. “Ms. Walters, I think I just made a puppet for you. Not sure. I’m about 80% sure that I folded a puppet for you, because just a few days ago Chris got me out of juvie using a Monopoly card.”
Wait, Chris did that? OrigVenom asked himself. Wow. Good kid.
He handed out a She-Venom puppet to Samantha. Samantha took it from his hands. “Um, thanks.”
Then…Shirley? Okay, now that’s truly surprising.
“How’d you guys get her?” I asked.
Michael responded, “I dunno. I guess she came on her own. Right…Shirl?”
Michael blew a kiss at Shirley and winked at her. Is this what I think it is?
Then…that one weird kid who’s name is Joe? Plus, he was wearing a cheap latex Venom mask.
“Joe, what are you doing here?” I asked, genuinely confused.
“I just saw the crowd of Spider-people and Venom-people heading toward this corridor.”
“I’m tired of waiting,” Knulligami said. “Fight!”
“Alrighty then. Fight!”
Fight! OrigVenom yelled.
“Fight!” the OriSpider-Verse, Chris, Michael, Samantha, Howard And Shirley chanted.
“Fiiiiight!” I said, and I started to run towards the army. Everyone else followed.
Michael stuck a Chemical H-infused needle into the leg of a random OrigSymbiote footsoldier. I saw him putting his hands out and together in many different ways (kind of like Doctor Strange), saying different things, until the soldier was on the floor, afraid.
Huh, OrigVenom grunted. I guess that’s how stuff was behind-the-scenes.
“I guess so,” I said as I blocked a punch from another footsoldier.
Bogey on your six, dude! OrigVenom shouted.
I turned around, but Colt quickly kicked the guy in the back.
“I got your back, you &*%$@.”
The Battle Rages On
By Ezra Cronin
Only around half an hour until the party begins. We gotta get this over with, OrigVenom whispered to me.
“Time for petty practices!” Emmet shouted as he bit Knulligami’s hand.
“Ahh—ah, ah, ah, ah, AHHHHH!” the Lord of the OrigSymbiotes screamed.
“I’ve got his arms,” Cal said.
“I’ve got his legs,” Karl said.
“I’ve got a spork!” Knulligami announced. He scratched Karl’s arm with his plastic utensil and got up. Emmet let go of his hands in a hurry, and Cal fell down to the ground, getting trampled by random foot soldiers.
I saw him running towards me.
“Not so fast!” Aiden said. He blocked me from the front, but Knulligami just kicked him out of the way.
“What are you going to do now?” I taunted. “Kill me with that weird spoon?”
“No.” He dropped the spork. “I’m going to make you cough up Chemical M.”
He got a hold of my body and starting giving me the heimlech manuever.
“Cough it up…cough it! Cough it!”
Finally, a blob of unnaturally-colored goo came out of my system. Not barf, but a whole lot of spit. And I knew that that spit was OrigVenom.
I quickly got my new Todd McFarlane Venom puppet out. Nothing.
“Dude?” I said.
Yes…, I heard someone crackle. I looked down. The spit was talking.
“What was that?” Shirley said, and she took a lot of steps back. I guess everyone could hear OrigVenom now that he was…er…revealed.
“Holy moly!” Owen shouted. “I think I had too many hashbrowns this morning. Is just me, or is the imaginary character of OrigVenom in Ezra’s deeply creative but highly perceptive mind real?”
“Probably the first explanation, muchacho,” Aiden said, patting Owen twice on the head.
I started to feel sick.
“Without OrigVenom, you feel weak,” Knullgiami explained. “Emotionally…and physically, too. It took me so many weeks to get back into my regular shape after I—got rid—of my version of OrigVenom: OriGrendel. What a pitiful being. I almost felt sorry for it.”
Poe, you are so messed up, OrigVenom said. Ezra, take this.
The pool of saliva started to evaporate. Very quickly. Like how evaporating is shown in those extremely sped-up videos by nature channels.
At the same time, I started to feel a burst of energy come into my body. I heard OrigVenom’s voice.
Ezra, it said. I’m giving you all of my life essence. Use it to defeat Knulligami and get the job done…once and for all.
I felt a shimmer in my eyes. Owen screamed, “AHHH! Did anyone else see that? Ezra’s eyes turned fully white for a second there.”
We are OrigVenom. No…
I grabbed Knulligami by the face, and put him eye-to-eye with my own.
“I am OrigVenom.”
The Death of OrigVenom
By Ezra Cronin
“No!” Knulligami said. “Don’t do this! Please, please! I beg you! I’ll do anything!”
I smiled. “It’s over, Poe. Venom’s meant to be a bad guy, right? Not in my eyes. He’s supposed to be an anti-hero. Y’know, someone who does good—but a little bit of bad, too.”
I let go of Knulligami. He bolted from the school and was never heard from ever again. Or, at least until his parents started asking questions.
“What happened?” I asked. “I thought he’d just say that his everything hurts.”
Owen said, “It seems that somehow you took in all of Poe’s own Chemical M when you took OrigVenom’s. He didn’t have any more power left, so he ran.”
After that, I quickly turned my attention to the OrigVenom puppet, who was coughing and grunting like he was about to die.
Ezra…, OrigVenom said. Everyone could still hear him. I’m…I’m sorry. Mourn me in…in black…and white, please.
“No,” I said. I started to tear up. “Don’t go, don’t go. You’re a part of my family.”
I, he started, love you like a brother. That’s coming from a…a…a being created by a freaking chemical from a…a school science lab.
I sniffed a few of my tears away. “You still going to possess a whole school in 30 years?”
I’m going to…take a short…b…break first, he said, dying quickly. Bye, Ezra.
He took his final breath.
By Ezra Cronin
The Peace Party was moved to April 25th, because of everything going nuts. Poe was eventually found by the police and taken in (it seems he didn’t have all of his marbles in place). We’re having OrigVenom’s funeral on Saturday, by the way, if you wanna come.
But the party was good.
I got Clark’s phone number (he’s really starting to like me—he even calls me Ezra now), Ally Weber’s number, Kurt Blum’s number (Cal says Kurt is a friend of his), and Jesse Rodriguez’s number. Really funny story about how I got Ally’s, though.
So, I was getting a refill on my snacks in the midst of the party, when Ally came up to me. “Hey, Ezra,” she greeted. “Nice party you and your friends organized.”
“Yeah, I guess it is. It’s not the best, I know.”
“Clark told me how you’re looking to become an OrigAvenger-” she started.
“Wait, I can be an OrigAvenger?” I said, excitedly.
“Not quite,” Ally said. “Give it time. You’ll be there soon. Just be ready, okay?
I didn’t really know what that meant, but it still sounded cool. I guess I’d just have to be patient, I guess. Darn, that sucks.
By Ezra Cronin
A few weeks later, after everything went wrong, I was laying in my bed trying to sleep. I missed OrigVenom, and I hadn’t made a single puppet since his funeral. After everything else, it seemed like no one would want to make a puppet again.
Then, my phone rang.
“Agh…that’s probably Samantha,” I said. “I told her already that I moved our next date to Thurs—”
It was Ally. She had texted me.
Ally: Hey, Ezra.
I was very confused, obviously.
Ezra: Hi, Ally. What is it? Only my girlfriend texts me at midnight.
Ally: Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you something important. Very important.
“I’m not prepared for this,” I whispered to myself.
Ally: Let’s talk about the team, Ezra.
I gasped, but not too loudly, or I’d have woken Tom up. He was asleep in the very next room over from me. I tried to type what I wanted to type, but I was so nervous.
Finally, I texted her back.
Ezra: Okay, let’s talk about the team.
Uh, Noah, two different titles…
huh well I was gonna write a Mysterigami squeal after this but after this i am not sure where to pick up with that eh ill table it for later
This is memories of SLS…..
SLS memorial lines:
Carnagami let’s goooooo!!!!!
I don’t like to be reminded of that old comment…… [insert nervous emoji]
BRING ON THE CARNAGE >:)
I’m had it. I don’t care about the continuity anymore. The next OrigVenom will completely, 100% no doubt ignore Cal. Thanks a lot Sony.
We will miss you SLS……… because we are OrigVenom, always.
Ezra x Samantha for life.
A-HA I SEE
my god i can’t believe none of you caught the future story tease from the very beginning yet
Ezra in OrigVenom 2: [ATTACK MODE 100]
Ezra in Unshreddible Hulk II: Hey, Dove, ya wanna buy some deatttttthhhhh sticks?
Dawg!!! This was a bad story!!