The Papertine Saga
EPISODE I – THE WEEK OF EMPEROR PAPERTINE
It started on Monday and lasted for one school week. The first day seemed fine. We were just hanging around at our table, Yoda giving advice, when suddenly this kid walks over. He said, “Hi, my name is Jacob. Jacob Minch. Mind if I sit with you guys?” We let him sit down, and he seemed okay. We talked for a little bit and he told us a cool story about how he had met Dwight back in preschool. They used to be best friends, but they both grew more and more distant, until they stopped being friends. But Jacob found out that Dwight went to McQuarrie, and decided to transfer schools here.
After hearing his story, we went to homeroom. On the way there, Jacob told us he had to go to the bathroom. Everything seemed normal enough, until I saw Jacob round the corner, past the bathrooms. It seemed a little weird, but I went to homeroom anyway.
The Clone Wars
When I came out of homeroom, it was nonstop CHAOS! Kids had clones and battle droids and they were all throwing paper airplanes at each other. Some were old foes like Jack and Tony, and some were friends, like Murky and Remi. One guy ran up to me and told me to get out my Luke SkyFolder.
Charging out into the cafeteria, I saw students jumping on the tables, engaging in a massive food fight; while some kids were just hiding behind turned-around tables, trying to avoid RibBQs and hoagies. Finally, the Principal walked in, and told everybody to stop. Most students complied. Because the Principal couldn’t figure out exactly who started the whole mess, EVERY STUDENT was given lunch detention! Not cool, man! And that was only the FIRST DAY of the week!
Today was total ROCKETS!
Remi, Kellen and I were going to class when this Pikpok Pete wearing a hoodie came over and demanded that we give him our lunch money.
I said okay, but Kellen stood in front of Remi protecting her and said, “No!”
I thought we were looking at a total Fishmaster Disaster, but the jerk guy backed off and ran away because I think he was scared of Kellen.
Later, I was walking through the hallways when the same hoodie guy as before started asking other people for their lunch money! Not cool, man! I ran up to him and said, “Stop it you goobler!” which is my new nickname for anyone who’s really, really mean.
He glared at me angrily, but I stood my ground and he backed away.
Afterwards, I talked to Origami Yoda and he said, “Brave you are hrrm?” So I took it as a compliment.
The third day actually had a beacon of hope. You remember the new guy, Jacob? Well, he signed up to be in the election for Class President. He made a speech today, in the middle of lunch:
“I promise freedom from the one who has been stealing lunch money and sparking battles. And I also promise a better environment, with NO bullies, NO disruptions, and NO mean comments! I know what it’s like to lose friends…” He gulped. “But I swear that for as long as I am Class President, NOBODY will lose their friends!”
“How liberty dies, this is,” Origami Yoda said. “With thunderous applause.”
Then, out of nowhere, someone started firing an actual paintball gun at Jacob!
I shouted “NOOOOO!!!” and jumped in the way of the paintball. It hit my right arm. Hard. I landed on the cold cafeteria floor, and slid into a puddle of orange juice.
Oh. And I was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt, too. Now one arm was splattered blue, and the rest was soaked orange. Just great.
But on the bright side nobody else signed up for the election, so Jacob entered and won the election in one day! Crazy, right?
Aside from the paintball disaster, everything worked out pretty well on Wednesday…Aside from the fact that we never did figure out who had the paintball gun.
I was in the middle of LEGO Robotics class when Jacob walked over.
“Hey, Sara,” he said. “So…I had an extra ticket to tonight’s baseball game, and I was wondering…would you be interested?”
I cringed a little bit, but tried not to show it. “Aw, Jacob. That’s really sweet, but I actually have other plans.”
Jacob’s smile faded. “Oh…okay.”
I felt kinda bad, but I think I made the right decision.
“Oh, and I’m just wondering…” Jacob started. “What plans do you have?”
“Tommy and I have youth group tonight.” I tried to give him my most compassionate smile.
Later that day, I was cleaning out my backpack, and noticed a letter stuffed in there. I pulled it out and read it to myself:
I completely understand about tonight not working out. Maybe some other time?
I think you’re really sweet and a cool friend. You’re awesome.
After youth group with Tommy, he stumbled upon the letter…So as to not complicate things or bore you to death, I’ll just tell it to you short- Tommy and I had a bit of a fight, and now he thinks that Jacob and I are an item.
I’m sure Jacob is a pretty normal guy, but he certainly made my relationship with Tommy hit a bump in the road.
I don’t know what it is, but I don’t really trust that Jacob guy.
Anyway, on Thursday, I was sitting in the library, when I heard that annoying paperwad’s voice.
“To a dark place, this day will carry us. Great care we must take.”
I turned over to Dwight. “If it has anything to do with Jacob, I get how Yoda feels. That guy gives me the creeps.”
“Dark Side, he is,” Paperwad Yoda said. “Destroy him, we must.”
If Paperward Yoda and I were AGREEING on something, then this Jacob guy must be really bad news.
Jacob walked into the library, as if on-cue. “Hey, everybody!” he said. “As your new Class President, I hereby ban all origami from this school.”
“WHAT?!?” Tommy and Kellen cried. “But, that’s what SAVED this school from FunTime!”
“Yes, and it had its time for heroics,” Jacob said. “Now, it is time for a new era. A McQuarrie Middle School…..paperless. Oh, and we ARE going to be trying Edu-Fun’s new, updated program.”
“NOOOO!!!” Kellen cried. “You ARE a Sith!!”
“Once more, the electives will be the core focus for our school! And, we shall have….peace.” He smiled.
Just then, Mrs. Calhoun walked over to us, holding a bucket. Everybody but Dwight and Tommy and I instinctively stuck their origami puppets in there. Mrs. Calhoun didn’t look particularly thrilled by this change, either. She rolled her eyes at Jacob. “Jacob, I think the power of being Class President MAY be going to your head.”
“SILENCE!” Jacob yelled. “This is MY school now! MY school, MY rules!”
“This is not your school, Jacob,” Mrs. Calhoun took a deep breath, and set down the bin with our origami. “This school belongs to the community at large.”
“Understood,” Jacob said, flatly. “You’re fired.”
Mrs. Calhoun raised an eyebrow. “You can’t do that. Being Class President doesn’t give you that kind of power!”
“Oh?” Jacob slowly grinned. “And, what if………the school board agrees with my decision?”
Mrs. Calhoun’s face turned white. “I, um…..”
Mrs. Calhoun left the library.
“Now that our intrusion has been dealt with,” Jacob said. “……Let’s bring in our secret weapon. Wheel it in, boys!”
Two kids–John Oxley and Tony D. Struction–brought in a portable shredder. It was painted silver, and it looked vaguely familiar.
“Introducing….The Death Shredder!” Jacob boomed. “Mr. Randall, if you’d please.”
Mr. Randall walked up to the Death Shredder (looking just as excited about it as Mrs. Calhoun did), taking the bin with everyone’s origami. He was about to shred them all…..forever.
“Don’t even think about it, Minch!” I said. I ran up to the Death Shredder, and tried to find a way to turn it off. Tony blocked my path. I sidestepped him, but bumped into John Oxley. Perfect.
“Tommy!” I cried. “Pull the plug!”
Tommy jumped up, and ran towards the power outlet in the wall. But, before he could get over there, Jacob blocked his path. He pulled something out of his back pocket. Something that made Tommy step back.
“But that’s–that’s–” He stumbled.
Jacob snickered. “Emperor Papertine.”
I paused for a moment. Something felt eerily familiar, and I couldn’t place what. Didn’t we already deal with an Emperor puppet before? But…it wasn’t origami then….ugh. Brain fart. Forget it. “Uh, yeah, well, you just said we couldn’t have origami any more,” I said. “So, aren’t you breaking your own rule?”
“Class President rewards,” Jacob cracked his knuckles. “Now…..the origami, PLEASE.”
Mr. Randall paused. “No.”
And he snagged the cord from the wall, and turned off the Death Shredder!
“At an end, your rule is!” Mr. Randall said. Dwight was standing at his side.
Origami Yoda finished the quote. “And not short enough it was.”
I pushed over the Death Shredder, and Dwight ran towards Jacob, chasing him out of the library.
“Okay, guys,” Mr. Randall said. “If you guys aren’t chasing Jacob out of this school, I’M going to get him expelled.”
The Rise of Emperor Papertine
We followed Dwight and Jacob. They were running outside. I know Origami Yoda said, “Wars do not make one great,” but I guess when the Class President tries to throw you in a shredder, all bets are off; because Dwight was grappling with Jacob over Papertine. Oh, and did I mention that Papertine had “Sith lightning” blue sparklers taped to his front? So far, they hadn’t done anything other than blind us for a couple seconds, but I was worried. What if the tape didn’t hold? What if……
Jacob tripped. A sparkler went flying into the air. It was just about to land on top of Jacob, when Dwight grabbed it.
“Dwight is my ally,” Origami Yoda said. “And a powerful ally, he is. Grace, he’s provided you. Now go. Leave the school, you must.”
Jacob got up, dropped Papertine, and boy, did he run! I didn’t stop him. Hopefully, that would be the last we’d see of Jacob.
After spreading the word that Jacob was gone (and apparently, he wasn’t actually enrolled in the school to begin with), we found Dwight in the science room with Papertine taped to the bottom of a jar with water in it. Dwight took some things and put some dry ice in the jar. The water froze and Dwight put the jar in a box and buried it somewhere, but even we don’t know where.
The Almost-Dangerous Part
I was just getting in my dad’s car to leave, when I heard him gasp. I turned around, and blinked. I must be dreaming. I must be dreaming. I kept it repeating over and over in my head. I must be dreaming. For, when I turned around, I saw flames rise closer and closer towards McQuarrie Middle School.
I ran to where the flames were, despite the warnings of my dad. I was surprised he even looked up from his phone long enough to notice. I tried to find the origin of the fire. The other sparkler. When Jacob dropped Papertine, the second sparkler must’ve caught the grass on fire, leading to the school!
I ran inside the building (thank goodness Janitor Phil left the doors open again), and I grabbed a big pitcher of water from the room where we have science class. I drenched the fire in the liquid. The flames rose higher than before, and were getting even closer to the school.
“Drat,” I mumbled to myself. “That wasn’t water.”
Whatever that chemical was, it most certainly wasn’t helping. I ran back inside, went to the water fountain, and filled a pitcher. I poured it over the fire, and set it out, just as it touched the doorway.
A trail of dead grass had spread out behind me. I tried my best to hide any evidence that there had ever been a fire. I saved McQuarrie Middle School.
I broke the news about Jacob to Sara that night, cause she was sick that day. She looked sad. “I’m sure there’s good in Jacob. He was really nice to me. Don’t give up on him.”
“Promise me you won’t fall for him? Even if he comes back?” I said.
EPISODE II – THE SUPER SABER
The Super Saber
This is bad! very bad! Papertine is back and may BURN UP YODA AND ALL THE ORIGAMI IN THE SCHOOL!!!!!! We’ll get to that. So we were in class for science,and Mr. Snider told us that we had 2 projects to do. Then he gave us all bottles of flame proof gel. I saw Jacob spray some on a paper lightsaber. I watched him and when we left class he took the bottle. Then he went to the sandbox and dug up PAPERTINE’S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He sprayed him with flame proof gel, and lit his lightsaber on fire!!!!!!!!!! He ran to the intercom and called all the remaining stormtroopers to come to the slide. Then he did the amazing. He went up to Harvey and tried to slash origami anakin! Harvey ran off and it looked like he ran to the classroom. the bell rang and we went home. I talked to dwight. He said he had a plan.
Origami Kit Fisto and the Imperial Guard
Dwight had given me a origami kit fisto and yoda said that papertine’s new apprentice would attack me with his army. I wondered who it was. I went to school and at recess I had a note on my desk. It said “meet me in the bathroom” it was from papertine’s apprentice. I went to the bathroom and saw the apprentice. He had 2 lightsabers with to red guards by him. It was KELLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “meet your doom tommy!” he slashed at kit fisto. i blocked it . I took out the red guard and slashed so hard that one of his lightsabers fell off. Kellen grabbed his lightsaber and sith lord. “Darth caedus will be your demise!!!!!!” said kellen. With him sided with jacob the war was harder……
Tommy and Harvey V Kellen
By Harvey (w/help from Tommy)
Tommy told me about jacob and kellen. I told him we need to team up and take him down. I folded a mace windu. Kellen said to meet him at the baseball field. We went there and i saw 5 kids with red guards and kellen with darth cadeus. I told tommy to get kellen. I went to the first guard. I blocked his spear but had to doge another. mace kicked one making it fall off. I did a spin and that took out 2. The 4th hit me. It didn’t knock me off. I took out the other 2. I turned around. Kellen had his saber right above kit fisto. It was so close I stuck my lightsaber in front of the blow. That gave Tommy time to knock down Darth caedus. I grabbed him. Kellen had ran off. I saw that if we connected the unfolded red guards and darth caedus, there was a map to where jacob was! It read “YOU HAVE BEAT KELLEN. THAT MEANS THE HYPNOTIC SPELL I PUT ON HIM BROKE. TELL DWIGHT TO BRING YODA TO FIGHT ME. IF HE DOESN’T I WILL BURN UP HIS YODA AND YOUR SCHOOL!!!!!” This. Means. WAR!
The Final Battle
Wow. That. Was. Epic. What happened was,I told Dwight and he said that he would not do it. “He’ll burn down the school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I said! Then we saw a fire truck drive towards mcqaurie!!!! I jumped on my bike and dwight got on his. We caught up to the truck and I jumped on the top. I saw zack with a new Darth Cadeus. I fought him with kit fisto. He dropped cadeus and jumped on to some grass. We got to mcqaurie and it was on fire!!!!!! We ran in and saw Jacob and papertine setting the school on fire!!! We decided to fight him. I slashed him in the body but he dodged it. Dwight got yoda and began to throw paper at him. He blocked each ball as the fell to the ground. He tried to uppercut dwight but missed. Then he was about to hit dwight when he saw that the paper dwight threw at him made a circle of fire around him!!! I grabbed him and we ran out. Jacob saw papertine was on fire!!! He ripped off the burning part and threw it on the ground. Then dwight examined the scrap. He grabbed papertine. He quickly unfolded it and refolded it into something else. “Tommy,” said Dwight. He showed me the origami. “this Was the first origami anakin’s paper!!!!” He ran to harvey’s house and put it in the mailslot. Everything was back to normal, for now…….
McQuarrie was fixed in a week and Jacob wasn’t caught. But at least we got a long break while to school was fixed.
EPISODE III – THE DEATH SHREDDER
Part I: Jacob Minch
The Principal Menace
Well, it’s been one month since the fire and Clone Wars that almost DESTROYED McQuarrie Middle School.
Dwight has been telling everyone the same thing when we ask for his advice:
“A bad feeling about this, I have.”
So, when we got past the security guards and scanners, which were just added to school security for obvious reasons, we had to go to the principal’s office to see just who everyone “loves” to talk to; Principal Rabbski, and her “apprentice,” fellow teacher Mr. Howell!!!
“YOU KIDS AND YOUR ORIGAMI ARE OFFICIALLY BANNED FROM THIS SCHOOL!!” Mr. Howell yelled, “I cannot believe the extent of the damage this…er…game has caused!! Who is responsible for this? They will be expelled for sure!”
Well, I was worried. If I said that it was Dwight, then I would lose a great friend, and Origami Yoda. Then again, Origami Yoda is already going to leave the school, but I had a plan… but first, we had to tell Mr. Howell the TRUE person who started this, since he is the one who actually set the school on fire.
“WHAT?!?” Mr. Howell yelled, “MY nephew, Jacob Minch?!? Why would you possibly say that?”
Oooooooh…..I get it, now! Jacob WAS new to the school, because he had just transferred schools to the one where his uncle was actually teaching!! Anyway, now what do I do? Jacob has the perfect alibi! He is being defended by the most respected teacher in all Virginia! (Yeah, there’s a lot about Mr. Howell we still didn’t know).
“Now kids,” Principal Rabbski spoke, “you will soon find that it is you who are mistaken; about a great many things…..”
(Anyone else think that she just quoted Emperor Palpatine?)
Anyway, she got into a long lecture with us, until finally the school bell rang. We had missed the entire school day! For a lecture! C’mon! Then, as we opened the door to leave, we saw the kid responsible for all this.
I saw Jacob and he had a smug grin on his face.
“what do you want?!” I said. He said “I don’t need anything from you weaklings.” “what?” said tommy. ” my death shredder, the ultimate super weapon will destroy Dwight’s science project and He will fail!!!!” said Jacob. “so” I said. “he fails all the time!” Jacob replied ” my uncle told me that if Dwight fails one more time, he will be expelled from EVERY SCHOOL IN VIRGINIA!” Then he grabbed me and locked me in the detention room! I was stuck here when I wrote this. I gave this to tommy. I am still stuck. It has been 1 DAY!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
Part I: Mission Briefing
So, Tommy gets all of us together, and I mean ALL of us; me, Dwight, Harvey, Mike, Quavondo, Murky, Ben, Amy, Hannah, Jen, Zack, Mr. Good Clean Fun, and somehow even Caroline! (Soapy was on the Dark Side, and Mr. Good Clean Fun was on the Light) And he took us all into the playground, so that the Origami ban didn’t apply.
Anyway, he gave all the kids who didn’t have Origami finger puppets Origami Clones, E-Z Yodas, Mace Windus, and even, for Mr. Good Clean Fun, Origami Soapy!
“Well,” Tommy started, “Kellen has been imprisoned by the villainous Jacob.”
“WOOHOOOO!!!!!” Harvey and Zack fist-pounded into the air.
“Dang it, you guys! Why don’t you just leave?!?” I yell.
“Because we have Darth Paper AND Darth Yoda!” Harvey retorted.
(Yes, this happens AFTER The Revenge of the Van Jahnke Yoda)
Anyway, Tommy tells me that even though Harvey and Zack are beyond annoying, they did have some of the most powerful Origami, and oddly enough, that would play an important part in our plan…
Tommy whispered the plan in our ears, and we started Operation: Save Kellen!
Kellen’s Rescue Part 2: Diversion
By Mr. Good Clean Fun
Caroline, Zack and Harvey Hid by the office next to the detention room. Tommy Quivondo and Dwight went to the classroom. Me, Murky,Mike,Amy,and Hannah went in front of the door to the detention room. First, according to the plan at least, Harvey Zack and Caroline went on the main computer and changed the origami ban. Then Caroline set up a firewall so they could not make it again. Then it was our turn. We attacked the guards in front of the Detention room. When we distracted them, Tommy’s team went in.
Kellen’s Rescue Part 3: The Actual Rescuing Part
So, we were in! I went down to the detention room, and tried unlocking it, but I couldn’t!
“The keys, Tommy, the keys!” Kellen kept saying, “Jacob…keys…” he fainted, probably because of the airtight room. (When McQuarrie does detention, they do it good….)
So, I went of to find Jacob. But then, Jacob just casually walked up to us! He had an origami Darth Plagueis.(Palpatine’s Master From The Dark Side) That triggered something in our heads, because we and the origami went ballistic on it. But the Darth Plagueis never got touched. Not even close. We got tired and yelled at Jacob. I was deafened by the sound, but it sounded like “WHY DID……” “THE DARK SIDE……..” “DEATH SHREDDER…………” “BEING BUILT…………………”
Well, I couldn’t stand the thought of Kellen dying in that detention room, so I grabbed Jacob, and threw him against the door! Well, he actually BROKE the door, so Kellen could escape! Jacob, though, was very dazed from hitting a 5 ton door with his whole body. Anyway, we won! We left for outside, where Mr. Nancy Good Clean Fun was cheering for us, along with our friends. But then I heard someone say “Join Jacob we must…. Hmmmmm!”
By Harvey (w/help from Zack Martin)
“Join Jacob we must!” I said, in my best Darth Yoda voice, “The Death Shredder he has. Powerful that makes him.”
“What?! Now all three of you are on the Dark Side!” Tommy exclaimed.
“Actually, we already were,” Zack said.
“It’s a trap!” Kellen’s Ackbar yelled, as Jacob pulled out from the nearby alleyway The Death Shredder.
Jacob, with a sinister smirk, plugged in the device and we all heard the sounds of a machine ready to shred.
“Surrender your origami, or the Captain gets it!” Jacob said, as he pulled Tommy’s Origami Rex out of his hand.
I fist-pounded again with Zack. We were unbeatable, and Dwight would finally admit that there’s nothing special about Origami Yoda! >:)
Part 2: Order Shreddy-Six
The Death Shredder
“Hey! Leave Captain Rex alone!” I said, pulling out my old Starkiller (the Apprentice from Papertine 1) out of my pocket. Now, he no longer had one red lightsaber, but two shiny, blue blades, like in The Force Unleashed II.
“Ha! You can’t stop me!” Jacob said, pulling out Papertine again. This Papertine was different, with a yellow face and with more drawn-on wrinkles, more like from Return of the Jedi than from Revenge of the Sith, like the original.
With “Starcreaser” on my finger, I threw a punch at Jacob, knocking Captain Rex out of his hand and into Tommy’s. Then, I grabbed Papertine with my free hand, and held him above the Death Shredder.
“No. No, No, YOU WILL DIE!!!!” Jacob said, grabbing Papertine back and pushing Starcreaser into the Shredder.
I pulled him out just in time, but his one “hand” was shredded, so I took out my anger on Harvey and Zack.
Ok… Kellen just went all “fireball” on us!
Well, first he grabbed Darth Yoda, and took a bite out of his ear! Then, he spit it out, attacked Darth Paper with Starcreaser, and they talked.
“I will never join you again!”
“My apprentice, you do not yet realize your importance!”
Darth Paper fell off of Harvey’s hand, and we all took the opportunity to attack.
“FOR MCQUARRIE!!!” Tommy yelled.
We all pulled out our origami, and fought Zack and Harvey!
“Hehehe…” Zack said, even as Mr. Good Clean Fun pinned him up against a wall.
“What? What is that laugh? Why are you smiling as if you know something I don’t know?!?” Good Clean Fun yelled.
“I want those Cheetos!!!” Darth Soapy yelled, as Zack pulled him out from his back pocket.
“Soapy?!” Mr. Good Clean Fun was so scared, he let Zack go just in time for him to steal and shred Origami Ackbar.
“NOOOO!!!!” I yelled, as I grabbed my Fortune Wookiee and tried to stop Zack.
He punched me! Like, for real!
I fell to the ground, and watched Harvey and Zack escape with their origami and the Death Shredder.
We succeeded in saving Kellen, but lost Ackbar. Typical.
“Only Two There Are…”
I ran over to where my Ackbar laid shredded. I cried boo-hoo tears, and then did something that even Origami Yoda could not predict.
“The Dark Side is strong in me, for I am SITH…”
I pulled out my OrigAsajj Ventress, and ran off, to find Jacob.
I heard the screams from Tommy, Kellen, and Sara, begging me to stay; but I didn’t listen. Instead I ran, on and on, until I came to the very place where this all started:The Cafeteria.
The cafeteria was dark, as no lights were on except the hallway lights, which were dim, anyways.
“Ah, Dwight! We have been expecting you…” A voice, presumably Jacob’s, said to me.
Suddenly, the lights all switched on, and I saw Jacob looming over me from the balcony that overlooks the lunch tables.
I almost ran for him, when Harvey and Zack came from both sides and grabbed my arms. They pulled me up the stairs, and up too Jacob. I was forced up, so I would look Jacob straight in the eye, when he said to me;
“Why are you here, young Jedi?”
“I have come…” I started, “Because I want to be your apprentice.”
I held up Ventress, and Jacob just smiled.
“Leave us,” Jacob said, addressing Harvey and Zack. They backed away, but they were still in earshot.
“I admire your audacity, my former enemy, and audacity shall be rewarded!”
He pulled out both Papertine and Plaigues from his pockets, and moved his fingers onto both my shoulders, saying:
“The Force is strong with you; a powerful Sith, you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth….. Melted Plastic Dinosaurs!”
My new name. Darth Melted Plastic Dinosaurs. I like it….. Totally purple.
“AND AS FOR YOU TWO…” Jacob said, speaking to Harvey and Zack, “YOU ARE BOTH NO LONGER MY APPRENTICES!!! BE GONE!!!”
The two of them looked shocked. They took their origami, Darth Paper and Darth Yoda, and threw them into the Death Shredder. Then they walked away…
“Good…good….” Jacob said, with Papertine. The next thing I saw was Origami Plagueis seemingly sleeping, and Papertine ripping him in two.
All that was left was me, Origami Ventress, Jacob, and Papertine.
The time has come. Execute Order Shreddy-Six.
We were beaten. We lost Ackbar. But the Rebellion wasn’t done yet…
We went to Rabbski’s Office, with our Origami held up proudly on our hands, and we told her about what has been happening.
“Kids, listen,” she started, in reply to our update, “I think that your Origami is ingenious! What a great idea! But, sadly, Mr. Howell is really against it. After all you kids have done with Origami Yoda and Darth Paper and Fortune Wookiee, I think you have actually saved the school from many problems; but Howell, he has been so worked up by his nephew Jacob, because he has had so many problems with this paper folding in the past, and so to him, this is just his nephew catching up with him again, along with you kids.”
She came close to my ear, and whispered: “I know about Jacob and the Death Shredder, and I think I can help.”
Just as we came to Mr. Howell’s Office, we could tell that something was horribly wrong.
“ORDER SHREDDY-SIX!!!!” yelled Dwight, as he opened Mr. Howell’s door. Then, Jacob grabbed all of our Origami, including Origami Yoda, and threw them out of the window in the office, down into the hungry Death Shredder.
“I have changed my plans!” Jacob said, with an evil grin, “Instead of just ruining Dwight’s already pitiful science project, I decided I would go bigger and better: I will ruin my uncle’s career, destroy your Origami, and then vanish from your lives, forever! Thus, securing my revenge…hahaha….”
We heard mumbles and groaning, as well as sounds of rapid movement; then we looked up, and saw Mr. Howell, taped to the ceiling with duct-tape!!!
Mr. Howell spit out his tape-gag, and yelled, “JACOB!!! YOU ARE EXPELLED FROM MCQUARRIE MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!! AND THESE KIDS’ PAPER PUPPETS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME HERE!!! GET THAT TERRIBLE SHREDDER OUT OF HERE!!! IN THE NAME OF THE SENATE OF THE USA, YOU HAVE LOST!!!”
We won! Mr. Howell saved us!! Rabbski, secretly wielding Origami Ahsoka, grabbed Jacob by the arms, and took him to the school bus, where Bus Driver Mr. Nancy Good Clean Fun drove him away, never to see McQuarrie Middle School again. (Though, there is a rumor around that he was transferred to Tolkien Middle School…)
The Destruction of The Death Shredder
So, we went down many, many, many flights of stairs, until we made it to the school playground, where The Death Shredder sat.
We searched through the scraps, looking for any surviving Origami, when we found Origami Yoda, Darth Paper, Fortune Wookiee, and Han Foldo!
The evil Shredder had to be destroyed, but there was no plug! It now ran on a battery that we couldn’t find! So, a now reformed Harvey and Zack, with Origami X-Wings, threw them into the Shredder! The X-Wings were HUGE, so the Shredder couldn’t shred it all.
The Death Shredder was destroyed.
But, we felt like we missed something…or SOMEONE….
EPISODE IV – THE MYSTERY OF ORIGAMI JEDI BOB
The New Kid
Hey, it’s Tommy, and I’m on vacation and there is something going on back at my town that is SUPER weird, or at least that’s what my friends are saying in their emails. So I’m making a new case file out of what I’ve heard from my friends.
You won’t believe what happened! It started when I was walking to gym class, I saw some kid sneaking around. I thought I saw some kind of origami Jedi on his finger. When I walked to him to say hello, he ran away. Right then, I thought he was just shy, but now I think he was snooping around like a spy or something.
Anyway, when I got to gym, I saw that the cheerleaders were making a pyramid (the one where they stack up on each other to make a triangle), but the cheerleader on the top slipped off the top. Just then, the snoopy kid jumped out of nowhere and ran and caught her. He put her down and ran away. And I have one word to say about that. Wow.
The Big Hero
Super duper WOW! I can’t believe he did it! You see, me, Amy, and my mom were going to get some lunch at a nearby cafeteria when I saw that same mystery kid, the one who saved one of the cheerleaders, drinking some soda outside the cafeteria. As soon as he saw me he rushed off. Well, there was apparently some wet spot on the floor because as soon as I stepped on that wet place, I flew into the air, pretty sure to meet a huge fate. Then the mystery kid ran through the doors and slid under me and I fell on his back. He got me off and said to me “Someone should put a wet sign there.” Then he ran away.
The Battle of the Fold
Ok, this is what happened. I was walking down the hall to one of my classes, when I saw Harvey making being a bully to a little 2nd grader. I came over to stop Harvey, but then Zack grabbed me and pushed me against a locker. “Where do you think you’re going, pipsqueak?” he said with an evil smile. Then that mystery kid came out of nowhere and said “Please let those kids go.” “Ok, I will let them go… right after I destroy you!” Then Harvey plunged at him with his Darth Paper. The kid pulled out his Jedi guy and fought back. The kid defeated Harvey and got me and the little kid away from Zack. Then he walked away to his class quietly.
The Last Battle (or, The Mystery Kid Revealed) Part I
Hey, I got back from vacation and I just got this scary email from a anonymous person, it said:
Hello “old friend”, if you value your friends, Kellen, Mike, and Sara, then you better meet me at the skating park at high noon or your friends are doomed… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
So what do I do now?
The Last Battle (or The Mystery Kid Revealed) Part II
By Tommy and Kellen
Well, I emailed Dwight for help, and this is what he said:
Yoda told me you should “purple” do what this anonymous bad guy says and to fold a Foldy-Wan Kenobi.
So I did what he said and went to the park.
Kellen: Mike, Sara, and I were tied up in the skating park, by that evilest of evildoers… Jacob Minch! Then Tommy with Foldy-Wan Kenobi came walking to the park and got scared when he saw all of us tied up and Jacob laughing with Papertine. I was scared, too… we were all scared… then out of nowhere came Dwight and the mystery kid!
Dwight had Yoda and the mystery kid had his mystery jedi. They surrounded Jacob, but then Harvey and Zack came out behind the snack place. It was a trap! There was a big fight!
Tommy: We were back to back to back! I had Harvey, Dwight had Zack, and the mystery kid had Jacob. It was one of the biggest battles I’ve ever been in!
Finally, we had almost won, Harvey was cornered and Zack was getting an arm lock by Dwight. The mysterious kid was battling Jacob until Jacob slipped away from him and grabbed Yoda and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. “NOBODY MOVE, OR THE ORIGAMI GETS IT!” We were scared! Yoda was about to be destroyed! But then the mystery kid jumped over Jacob, grabbed Yoda, and landed safely. Jacob was shocked, but he ran away yelling “THIS ISN’T THE LAST YOU’VE HEARD A ME, I’LL BE BACK AND STRONGER THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE! MHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Well, everybody ‘s safe, no one got hurt, but we really could’ve gotten hurt if the mysterious kid didn’t save Yoda. And we finally found out who the mysterious kid was. He told us after the fight his name was Ryan, and that he was in the same school as Jacob as before he came to McQuarrie. Jacob was causing trouble at that school, too! Also he said that he was trying to be sneaky so he could follow Jacob because he knew he was up to something and ended up saving people because Jacob was sneaking around. Well, we’ve learned more about Jacob, but we still don’t know what his master plan is…
P.S. Ryan got the idea of Jedi Bob because he likes legos, too, and had the lego star wars dictionary, where he learned about him.
NOTE FROM THE EU COUNCIL:
Episodes V-VII are Non-Canon to the Papertine Saga, but they have been included because they are considered to be part of Classic EU History.
EPISODE V – END OF THE EMPEROR
One month ago, we fought Jacob and Papertine. Now someone ELSE wields Papertine. But who…? This story is about the final battle and Papertine getting………shredded, in a way.
The new Master
By Weakened Jacob
Papertine…………..was……………given……….to……….Dwight……. Dwight………will……..need……….help………… Strong…….with………the…….force……..this……..is…………………….
Power of the Paper
By Evil Dwight
I FEEL POWERFUL!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Death Shredder II
So, you know how there was a second Death Star? That’s what happened with the Death Shredder. Only, this time, it was BIG. No Giant X-Wing could stop it now. Well, we need to stop it. Again.
Rise from the shadows
by Papertine and Evil Dwight
“Excellent work, my apprentice…” said Papertine. “Thank you, master” said Dwight. “Soon, all the Jedi will be SHREDI!” said Papertine. “MWAHAHA!!!” laughed Papertine and Dwight. ”But first, we need you to rule the school and Execute Order Shreddy-Seven” ”What about Order Shreddy-SIX?” asked Dwight. “That was a failure.” replied Papertine angrily. ”They shall pay”. ”Well, I could get on the announcements and announce it…” said Dwight. ”Perfect….. Everything is going into plan…” said Papertine.
Execute Order Shreddy-Seven
Monday. That was the day we heard the Announcement. About 120 kids were like mindless zombies that day. They had Clones and Stormtroopers. We were toast. We needed a plan.
”So, this is what we do.” said Tommy. ”We go to the lair of Dwight and Papertine. Then we find the computer for the Death Shredder and shut it down for good. Then we make HUMONGOUS X-wings and throw them in. I know, it’s deja vu, but it’s the only way”. We agreed. Time for the Jedi to do their thing again. Destroying the Shredder by Tommy The plan WORKED! All we needed were the X-Wings and………….”Hey let me go! WHO ARE YOU!………………………………AHHHHHHHHHH!…………………..MMPH! MMMM! MMMMMMMMPH!” I was captured.
Secret of the Jedi
Papertine came with Dwight. ”Dwight, let me go!” I pleaded. “You’re making a big mistake!”. ”You are making a mistake,” said Papertine. Tell us the secrets of the Jedi, and we will let you go. Don’t tell us, and you stay here. FOREVER.”. I yelled into my hidden walkie talkie “NOW!”. Then my friends came. The battle had begun.
The Jedi are winning!?!?!?!?!? NOOOOOO! Now to use my secret weapon……..
The Secret Weapon
HOLY SMOKES! THAT IS A GIANT ORIGAMI BALL!
We were doomed. Then I looked at Dwight. He put his hand into his pocket. And pulled out Origami Yoda. ”Time to defeat you, it is”. said Yoda. Then Dwight stopped the ball, and threw Papertine to the shredder.
What Happened Next
Papertine was gone! We had defeated one. Now we defeat Jacob and we are saved!”
EPISODE VI – RETURN OF THE EMPEROR
Looks like Papertine wasn’t shredded after all! It was a copy. Dwight, on the other hand, returned to Yoda. We were happy to have him back. “Who did you fold now?” I asked. Dwight holds up Origami Ahsoka Tano. He gives Ahsoka to Sara. “Wow, this is cool. Thanks, Dwight!” said Sara. Dwight just smiled. He holds up ANOTHER one. It is Origami Bom Vimdin, from A New Hope. He gives Bom to me. “Dwight, no one remembers him!” I said. “I thought we should.” said Dwight. ANOTHER puppet came out. This one was for Kellen. It was his old Starcreaser! “Dwight! Thank you!” yelled Kellen happily. There was even one for Harvey. He got Origami IG-88. “Cool! Thanks, Dwight!” said Harvey. Little did we know, these puppets would come in handy when we fought Jacob for the very last time.
Preparing for Battle
We had our origami! Yoda said he would train Ahsoka to be a Master. “Thank you, master Yoda.” said Ahsoka. IG-88 needed to learn how to heal us in battle. Starcreaser needed lightsaber training. “AGAIN?” asked Starcreaser. And Bom? Well, he needed to stay eating veggies.”Fine with me.” said Bom.
2 WEEKS LATER…..
We were ready! I had TWO lightsabers, Bom was healthy, Ahsoka was a Jedi Master, and IG-88 could heal us! Yoda said he would be there with Dwight.
Time for Battle
Ahsoka and I were ready. Jacob was to meet us any minute. We were at the playground, waiting for Jacob and Papertine to arrive. Then all of a sudden, we heard a “CRASH!” and a “DANG IT!”. Jacob had arrived.
By Sara, Harvey, and Tommy
Jacob and I clashed with guns and lightning. I had the gun. He had the lightning. I quickly signaled for Harvey.
When I saw Tommy’s signal, I rushed and shot Papertine. It hit him in the chest. The shot startled Jacob. Then he got mad and took out a lightsaber. I signaled Sara to come.
I saw the signal and rushed to aid my friends. Then I took out a lightsaber and Papertine and Ahsoka clashed. “If you hit me down, I shall grow stronger then you can possibly imagine.” said Papertine. “I will NEVER join you, even if you were a Jedi!” Ahsoka replied. Then Ahsoka knocked the lightsaber out of Papertine’s hand. Then, we grabbed Papertine and we tore him in half (The REAL one this time!). Then Jacob fled. But Yoda stopped him. “Shall not pass, you will” said Yoda. Then Jacob surrendered. We defeated Jacob.
We did it! Jacob and Papertine are gone, and we are safe! This evening, I went on the internet and I saw a link to a site. It was a Origami Yoda site, called the Origami Yoda Expanded Universe. There was a link. I clicked it. It was a story about what happened today.
It was called Return of the Emperor. There was another story about yesterday, when we rescued Dwight from the Dark Side. I was happy.
Deep inside McQuarrie Middle School, Jacob stirred. The door outside was unlocked. Quietly, he went outside, and ran off to Tolkien Middle School and then, he planned The Origami War. Origami Yoda VS Fold of the Rings was about to begin and a betrayal was in place……………
EPISODE VII – THE FINALE
So, you are most likely thinking, “Wait, Jacob isn’t defeated yet? I DECLARE SHENANIGANS!” or something like that. No, we don’t exactly even know where he is… (Probably planning something really big, and evil, though.) But a new enemy has risen, one who is the new owner of Papertine, one more evil, and one we may not be able to stop…
The Really Strange New Kid…
So, Tommy, Harvey, Dwight, and I were siting at lunch last Monday playing pencil wars, telling jokes, and asking Origami Yoda really stupid questions like “Why are monkeys brown?” You know, what we usually do. But then a really dorky kid walked up to us. He had these buck teeth like you would not believe. So we were all like “Um, hi…?” Then he said “Oh, hi. My name is uh, uh, Frank.”
“…And?” Tommy said.
“Well, I’m new here. Do you mind if I sit down?”
“Uh, in a word, no.” Harvey said.”
“Shut up, Harvey! Of course you can sit here.” said Tommy. So the the kid sat down.
“Wait are you…Dwight Tharp?” said Frank as he pointed at him.
“Uh, yeah.” said Dwight.”
“Ahh, good, goood!” said Frank, sounding like Palpatine. “Uh, I mean that I read your case files on the internet.” he then said.
“Yeah…that’s cool.” said Tommy. Then for some random reason, the kid left and walked to another table. So the rest of lunch was really quiet. Also the kid kept staring at us.
NOTE FROM THE COUNCIL: This story was never completed, so we may never know what happened to Frank…but that doesn’t mean you can’t make up your own ending to the Papertine Saga!
You want an ending? I’ll give you an ending.