Episode 24: Rogue Wug
This case file was compiled by Sara Bolt, acting leader of the Rebel Alliance of McQuarrie Middle School, and really the only one not captured as of now.
Recorded by the Holocron Keeper (Mike) on Kellen’s Stolen Recorder Thingy that was recovered from the War Zone
(Sara’s Note: These events happened after those recorded in the “Crease of Rebellion” case file. They recall a mission in which some of our rebel team members were captured in an attempt to overtake the Knights of Pen base. There they located Mike, who had been captured. They freed him, but then things turned for the worse…)
Mike: This was definitely a terrible idea. I mean, yeah, the rebels found out the location of the base, freed me, and then tried to attack, but somehow they were ready for us. OW! Was that an Airsoft pellet?
Helen (Evil Person): Aw, you gonna start crying you little baby?
Mike (Obviously starting to tear up): Of course not! You can’t win!
Lance: Stop letting her get to you!
Helen: Of course we’re going to win. Jim?
Mike: Hey, what are you…that’s not…
*At this point the recorder thingy hits the ground with a thud.*
Harvey: You can’t do this! It’s…not fair…my step-dad…he’s smart…
Jim (Dark Side): Oh, stop whining. You’ll be sent back to your houses safe and sound…with no memory of this happening. Oh, and you’ll be brainwashed.
*Sounds of struggle as the rest of the crew is dragged away.*
Helen: Get the last of them!
*Feet pound on the ground.*
Sara: It’s the recorder thingy!
Tommy: Grab it! We have to get out of here!
It All Goes to Wug
By Noah and Jacob
It is a dark time for the former students of McQuarrie Middle School. Out of the ashes of the Fun-pire, the evil Knights of Pen have risen in it’s place. The name of our leader has been tarnished; bonds between friends frayed. After a calculated defeat by the enigmatic Supreme Liter Coke, The Rebel Alliance-
Jacob’s Note: Noah, just write the chapter. Stop being so overdramatic.
Noah’s Note: Shut up, Palpatine. Well, like I was saying, it IS a dark time for us. The Knights of Pen, a new club/gang/thing are the newest threat, and this kid who is calling himself Supreme Liter Coke has rallied the group against all that is good and righteous.
Jacob’s Note: Could you just get to the important part, or am I going to have to do everything, again?
Noah’s Note: Could you just let me write in peace? Luke Skyfolder is judging you.
Jacob’s Note: Dude, I don’t do puppets anymore, remember? Anyway, what Noah didn’t tell you is that our spy, Harvey, found the secret meeting place of the Knights, and so we planned to ambush them and destroy anything that they were planning. Admittedly, it was a pretty desperate ambush, but we had to try; Harvey told us that Coke, the Knights and this new guy, JC (Why is it always the new guy?) were creating a new weapon of mass destruction: the Death Bomb, a massive water balloon shooter capable of destroying any origami in it’s vicinity. And they were protecting a map to the last few packs of wishing skittles.
Well, turns out that the ambush went horribly wrong.
Somehow, SLC has brainwashed most of the crew into joining the Knights, so now, us few that remain (Our acting leader, Sara, Me, Noah, Frankie, Vernon, Dan, Chippy and Jack and some of the now-reformed Bounty Hunters) are in hiding, with Tommy and Dwight, trying to form a plan to defeat them. Well, I say in hiding. Still I guess, in school, but avoiding everyone else like our lives depend on it. See, this is why I don’t do origami anymore. Way too much trouble.
Noah’s Note: So you lost the Force. How dare you??
So, we’ve been planning how to defeat Coke’s army in our base, the [REDACTED] (Sara’s Note: You cannot reveal the location of the secret base.) It seems kind of impossible. And so that is where we are now. And we have written this case file as a record of our defeat, and, we’re hopeful, first victory.
Because rebellions are built on hope.
Jacob’s Note: You’ve gotta be kidding me.
The Time to Strike
I still can’t guess how these idiots roped me into a dang fool crusade again. Probably because my boyfriend is so dang persistent. But, here we are, with a death wish against all of us. Well, as close to a death wish as middle-to-high-schoolers can get.
Don’t tell anyone, but our secret base is [REDACTED]. It is here that we met this afternoon, to reflect on our current situation, and to see where we went from there. And where the main plot of this case file began.
Several people were present: the Minch Twins, Chippy, Dan, Jack, Vernon, Vanessa, and a couple of the former bounty hunters, Zach and Nico. We would have had one more, but Megan/Fred has completely vanished during her suspension from school. No one, not even Sara, had been able to contact her. So, it was just us now.
Even though Tommy and Dwight were there, who technically were the leaders of our “Rebel Alliance,” Sara was taking full lead, with the Fortune Wookiee and Han Foldo on each hand. Girl power!
“So, when are we attacking next?” Sara started, after calling the meeting to order.
“Are you kidding me?” Jacob groaned. “Supreme Liter Coke whooped our butts. We lost. Honestly I don’t even know why we’re still doing these meetings.”
Poor Jacob had forsaken the ways of origami. We were all low-key judging him for it.
“Ignore him,” Noah cut in, after stamping on Jacob’s foot. “I’m itching for a fight!” He waggled his newly-created Kanan Jarrus puppet. This was his puppet now; in his Dark Side mode, he had destroyed his Luke and Leia.
“I’m with Noah. We can fight them,” Chippy added. His new K2-SO puppet was held proud and resolute.
“But at what cost?” Dan asked. “We’re almost all that’s left of the Rebel Alliance. We need to stay alive so we can at least continue. And I’m not eager to lose the FCL. I just upgraded him.” To illustrate the point, Dan produced the Fortune Clone Trooper from his backpack, and admittedly it looked really good.
“But this is our only way to strike back!” Jack inputed. He had just created, during the meeting, an origami Pao, the Drabatan foot soldier from Rogue One. It was really good; the mouth was suitably huge.
“No way I’m doing anythin’,” Vernon drawled. His new red sunglasses, combined with his whole get-up really made him look like Cad Bane. He was, at the moment, our double agent. “I’ve seen what they’re planning. It’s way too powerful for us.”
“I’m with Noah on whatever we decide,” I finally added. Noah grinned. Jacob snorted. My puppet wasn’t on my finger; instead, Pyn (Pen) Erso was in my pocket, ready at a moment’s notice.
Sara nodded. “I hear what you’re all saying. It’s just that, we can’t lose control of the school again. You all remember the reign of the Bounty Hunters, and how terrible that was.”
Noah flinched. He still had low level, teenage PTSD from the Bounty Hunter incident. Finally, Tommy stepped forward. He couldn’t show his face in public, except during classes, because a lot of people didn’t exactly like him and Dwight at this point. But he was no less of a fighter than before. And he still had Foldy-Wan on his finger, who looked kind of battered. Tommy had turned him into an Alec Guinness version of Origami Obi-Wan.
“I agree with all of you. Yes, it seems hopeless, Jacob. And I really want to fight, Noah and Chippy. But, like Dan, I still want our Rebellion to continue. There has to be a last line of defense.
“So, I’ve come to a conclusion.” (Like I said, Tommy was still the leader, so his words were kind of end-all.) “We need a strike team to go inside Coke’s base and retrieve the plans for the Death Bomb AND the map to the Skittles. We all remember the last time the Skittles were wrongly used.” He glanced at Jacob, who rolled his eyes.
“Again, no WAY I’m having any part in this!” Vernon said, raising his voice.
“Well, what does Dwight say about all this?” Jacob asked. He was desperate, but as expected all Dwight said was ‘Purple.’ But Force Ghost Origami Yoda had other things to say.
“An inescapable foe, Supreme Liter Coke is. Among us, his power is. To defeat him, choose a strike team we must. Our only hope, they will be.”
That seemed put any doubter’s doubts to rest. Okay, forget what I said; Tommy is the leader, but Origami Yoda’s words are definitely end-all.
Vernon turned to walk away. “Y’all can do whatever suicide mission you want. I’m outta here.” He turned to walk away, and the Bounty Hunters followed him. They would have been our best bet.
“Well, we didn’t need you anyway!” Jack quietly shouted after them, obviously not believing what he just said.
But, we were still doing this.
“Yeah, we’re so doomed,” Dan commented.
(Sara’s Note: These case files (below) were found during the strike mission, and promptly inserted into the case file.)
The Honorable Ones
I was still having trouble accepting the fact that we were now against so many of my best friends: Tommy, Dwight, Sara, everyone else…but it’s for the greater good.
Because Tommy destroyed the school just for his own personal gain, and the Knights revealed that to us, I have to fight them. McQuarrie was our home and I can’t believe that they would try ruining it, but the proof was too real. But even then, I am only on their side because… um, blackmail. Also because Coke’s new second-in-command, the Grand Inquisitor-igami, creeps me out.
So, me, Harvey, Mike, Quavondo, Cassie, and the rest of the original crew, along with Vernon, joined the Knights of Pen. We were given new puppets along with our induction by Knights’ Honor Guard, which, admittedly, were all Dark Side. After using Kallus for awhile, I was given a Director-igami Krennic. Which was fitting, since I was the lead designer of Coke’s secret weapon, the Death Bomb.
The Death Bomb is a catapult that flings water balloons the size of Tommy. It is incredibly accurate, and will effectively decimate any origami in its path of destruction. It was created to guard… something. We’re not exactly sure what; Coke won’t tell us. In fact, I don’t think any of us have actually met Coke in person. He communicates through notes inside Coca-Cola bottles, which are then relayed to us by Jim, leader of the Honor Guard. I guess that’s how he got the name “Supreme Liter Coke.”
The rest of us, like I said, were given Dark Side puppets. Harvey had created a new origami Grand Moff Tarkin. Vernon kept Cut Bane. However, the three others were gifted with origami masterpieces folded by SL Coke himself. Mike was given a new and improved General Creasous, Quavondo was given the Five-Fold Brother, and Cassie was given the Seven-fold Sister. Whoever this Coke was, he was a fantastic origami-smith. Each crease of was expertly crafted. They’re much better than the original five Knights’ origami puppets that were folded sloppily and scribbled on. These new ones seem to come from someone who really knew how to fold origami. Interesting…
UPDATE: Oh, boy. Jim just told us that Coke says that a strike team sent by Sara would attempt to seize the plans to the Death Bomb, and whatever it was guarding. We are now on high alert.
I don’t have to like it, but I’ll protect these plans at any cost.
Wow! I think is my first time writing a file. Weird. Sad that it’s under such awful circumstances.
Tommy and Dwight left to go home as a precautionary measure (they have been caught and given multiple swirlies before because they stayed late), but the rest of us stayed behind. Even Dan and Jacob, but then again, there was no way Jacob was going home without Noah, so it was assumed that he’d still be there anyway.
“So, you are my supporters,” Sara said, looking over those loyal. Like I said, there was Dan and Jacob, Noah, Frankie, me, and Jack. We all nodded to each other. “If there is anyone who wants to back out now, you will not be judged or looked down upon.” Jacob looked at Noah, pleadingly, but eventually he gave in.
“Wurrraaaaaaaagh!” Sara’s Fortune Wookiee blurted out. “He says you’re the new strike team,” Han Foldo, on the other hand, translated. We all nodded, again. Jack whoop-whooped.
“I mean, how dangerous can it be?” I asked. “There seems to be like an invisible G-rating on all of our adventures.”
“At least a light PG,” Jack added.
“Not for the origami,” Dan answered. “They have been mutilated, torn in half, drowned, singed-”
“That’s enough, Eggbert,” Sara cut in. “You all may lose your origami. You all may be captured by the Knights of Pen. You know, captured legally. Or brainwashed to join Coke’s forces. So you all have to be in.”
“How does ‘captured legally’ work?” Jack asked.
“Whatever it is we’re doing, I’m in, no matter what the danger is,” Frankie cut in.
“Me and Jacob are in,” Noah said. Jacob glared at him, before relenting.
“Okay, fine,” Jacob sighed. “I’ll be there for you all. Noah said I have to.” He had become very overprotective of Noah over the years.
“I’m totally joining,” I said. “But there is a 97.6 percent chance of failure.” I sighed. “I love K2-SO.”
“I’m in too!” Jack said. There was no way he was being left out.
And finally there was Dan. “Gah, fine. I’ll join.”
Sara let a small smile show. “Thank you all for joining. Now, if you’ll all follow me to the Armory-”
“Wait!” Jack blurted in. “We need a name for ourselves.”
“Well, we’re a suicide squad like Rogue One,” Jacob started.
“And we were formed by the Fortune Wookiee…” Noah finished.
“Ooh! I’ve got it!” I shouted. “We can call ourselves Rogue… Rogue Wug.”
I led the newly minted “Rogue Wug” (totally love the name, by the way) to the armory.
There are several reasons we chose this base; one, it has a working copy machine that gets used quite frequently around here, and that’s what Rogue Wug is going to use to copy the plans. The other reason is that it has a giant closet. For a while we didn’t know what we were going to use it for, but the giant shelves and chests knew we could use it for storing something.
It wasn’t until, after our first battle with the Knights of Pen, Kellen threw his Nerf gun and lightsaber into the closet, and we knew what we’d use it as.
Soon, we were stashing all of our Nerf guns and lightsabers and water balloon slingshots. And that was the origin of the armory.
I knew that, in the storming of the base, they would need to be stashed up on weapons. So, here we were.
“Take anything you like, guys,” I said.
Like true gentlemen, they all let Frankie go first. She didn’t take much, just a Nerf blaster, and good bit of ammo.
Chippy went dual wield; Dan grabbed a water balloon slingshot; and Jack procured a Darth Maul-style plastic lightsaber. Frankie, Chippy and Dan all grabbed lightsabers as well.
“Oooooooh…” Noah cooed as he laid his eyes on a giant Nerf crossbow. “Yep, I’m in love,” he said after holding it and looking down it’s sights. “With you, not the crossbow,” he checked himself after a glare from Frankie.
Jacob grabbed the biggest arsenal: a repeating Nerf blaster, two dual wield pistols, a slingshot, two lightsabers, and a Nerf sniper rifle thing.
“What?” He asked, while everyone stared at him. “Someone is going to have to save all your butts when you get in trouble.”
“But doesn’t that many weapons impede movement on the battlefield, dear brother?” Noah asked, as he grabbed a giant stick for close combat.
“I don’t need to be fast, like you,” he chuckled. “I just need to actually hit my targets.
“Okay, that’s a cheap shot!” his brother yelled.
“Which are the only things you can shoot.”
Ignoring the brothers’ bickering, Frankie looked at me. “So, when are we heading out?”
I checked the time on my watch. “It’s about 4:00 now.”
“Dang it,” Dan moaned. “I have to be back by 4:30. I’m supposed to help my mom make burritos.”
“And my swim practice is at 5:00,” Frankie added.
“You couldn’t have told us that before?” Noah yelled, exasperated.
“Hey, tomorrow’s Saturday,” Chippy inputted.
“Oh yeah,” everyone said.
“All right then, tomorrow we strike on the base,” Jacob ordered. “Rogue Wug, move out!”
Calm Before the Storm
I am one of the only people who is allowed to meet with Supreme Liter Coke, and let me tell you, it was pretty hard to accept him as the boss, just on past preferences alone. But now it has been settle that he is our supreme leader.
Coke told me that the Rebels were planning an attack on the base tomorrow. I laughed. They couldn’t possibly think that they could even have shot.
They didn’t know about our base.
A treehouse had been built in secret in the forest behind the school. It was huge, and sturdy. There was sniping positions and lookout towers. And the Death Bomb, our biggest advantage, was right underneath. Even though I don’t like it, Kellen was the one who designed it, and I guess it’s pretty good. Oh, it hurt even typing that.
And that’s just our main building. Out of the long-forsaken kiddie playground equipment from the nearby closed-down preschool, we’ve built battlements and a wall spanning the whole sand pit the base is built on. I built that, FYI.
But even still, we’d need all of our men, except for the Coke’s personal guard. They never stayed out of eyeshot of Coke.
So, with every man stationed and all of our weapons stocked, I’d like to see the Rebellion try to attack us.
It was tomorrow.
I led Rogue Wug through the thick woods. The Knights’ tree house was now visible through the trees. They obviously knew we would be coming. Out of forlorn playground equipment, battlements had been erected, on which the Knights of Pen stood. Quavondo and Mike were the ones immediately visible. Thankfully, the battlements were not high off the ground; if they fell off, they would not be hurt.
Then terror struck. The tree house was pretty huge, and just under it was the Death Bomb. Manned by James Suervo Jr. and Remi (more brainwashed fallen allies!), it looked like a miniature catapult; well, I say miniature, in relation to real catapults, but it was definitely bigger than two Tommy’s, that’s all I’m saying. And the water balloons they had at the ready were definitely bigger than Tommy; they could probably drench my dad in one hit, and any origami caught in the path would never stand a chance. We would have to be cautious.
Chippy cocked his pistols, and had K2-SOrigami taped to his shoulder. Dan’s Fortune Clone Trooper was ready to battle on his left hand, while in his right hand his slingshot was primed.
“You better know what you’re doing, Noah…” Dan groaned.
Jack, who definitely looked the most enthusiastic, kept jumping up and down and tripping on his lightsaber, while PaoPleat looked on with his giant mouth, taped to Jack’s ball cap.
“We can totally do this, right?” Jack asked for reassurance.
Jacob, who was next to him, rolled his eyes. He still hadn’t taken out his origami Baze, which I made for him. He probably only took it because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Baze could just be seen poking out of his jean pocket. Jacob’s spikey black hair gave him a look of heavy intensity as he looked down the scopes of his Nerf rifle, ready to snipe the people on the battlements. I had the coolest twin brother ever.
Last was Frankie, who loaded her blaster and cocked it.
“We can do this. I believe in you, Noah,” she grinned. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and my brain exploded, like it always did when she did that. Jacob rolled his eyes again. He was totally just jealous.
Taking one last look at OriKanan, and riding on the adrenaline from the kiss, I turned to the group.
“Now remember,” I refreshed them, “I’m technically the leader, but if any of us get taken out, it’s up to the other to get the job done. We have to get that map. Now…”
I paused for dramatic affect.
“For Jedha!” I whisper-yelled.
“For Jedha!” They all whisper-yelled back.
I nodded at Jacob. He nodded back. With pinpoint precision, he fired the rifle, smacking the unaware Quavondo on the forehead. A water balloon from Dan completed the effort. With a pitiful cry of pain, he fell off the battlement into the mud. The said mud did much to slow his efforts to get up.
Mike jumped, and held his slingshot at the ready before two shots to the chest and a water balloon to the leg knocked him from his position. That made a path to get to the tree house ladder, but also sent everyone into high alert.
As planned, in a sort of oval formation to cover all areas, we ran out into the open making a run for the tree house. Lance and one of the original Knights of Pen, Ben, were the next to attack; with their lightsabers they converged, while water balloons from no one in particular rained down from everywhere. It was a wonder no origami was harmed.
As planned, Jack and Chippy broke off from the group, igniting their plastic lightsabers and protecting the four remaining.
“Oh, hey Lance, how’s it been?” Jack asked. “We’re still “Brothers of the Boba,” right?”
“Never, you traitor!” Lance shouted. Coke had certainly taught him how to use a lightsaber well. Jack was doing all he could to hold up.
The same situation was going on with Chippy and Ben.
“I don’t think I ever met you, kid,” Chippy started. “What’s your name?”
“Be- wait, wouldn’t you like to know?” Ben countered.
“Yeah, I would,” Chippy joked. He was living up well to his K2-SO character.
Me, Frankie, Jacob and Dan continued going. The distance from the woods to the tree house ladder was more substantial then we had figured. There was still about 10 yards to go. But we were all going to make it!
Until tragedy struck.
A water balloon thrown by… someone… finally connected. It exploded on the arm of Dan, knocking him to the ground. His Fortune Clone Trooper was in pieces.
“NOOOOOO!!!” he shouted, trying to piece it back together. I took time to reflect on the many puppets we had all had, but Dan was the only one to ever only have a single puppet: the Fortune Clone Trooper. That was the puppet he had brought his first day of school, and now there it lay, disintegrating in a puddle of soft mud. Dan stood up, with fire in his eyes, and igniting the dual Ahsoka lightsabers he had grabbed, ready to fight whoever had destroyed his puppet.
While we wanted time to mourn, me, Jacob and Frankie had to continue. I was certainly not as optimistic as I was earlier.
I still thought it was kind of stupid how much emotion we invested into these puppets, but as the FCL slopped into the mud I realized that all of these origami creations were a part of us now. Maybe a part of our childhood, maybe a part of our innocence, but they all meant something to us. And there went Dan’s.
I paused, letting Noah and Frankie go on ahead, the two getting into a lightsaber battle with Amy and Jennifer.
I scanned the battlefield, reflecting. All of these people we were fighting were some of our best friends, who thought we were traitors. Okay, maybe I’m being a little overdramatic, seeing as we’re fighting with plastic sticks and paper, but hey, it’s still emotional.
And then I understood the amount of power we were dealing with.
Remi and James rolled the Death Bomb into position, loaded it was a man-sized water balloon, and fired.
It launched over in a huge arc, rolling and twisted in the air. The sun had just come out, so little shafts of light shot beautifully through the balloon, making little rainbows on the ground. It was beautiful scene.
Chippy and Jack looked up just in time to see the Death Bomb connect, drenching them both immediately with the water of our enemies. They were both knocked from their feet.
K2-SOrigami and PaoPleat were both destroyed on impact. Chippy didn’t really show any emotion, but Jack started to rage, before they were both jumped upon by Lance and Quavondo, holding them down. I realized the same had happened to Dan, who had Mike sitting on top of him.
Then I heard a shout of “NOOOOOOO!!!” I turned around and saw Noah fall to the ground.
I didn’t know what had happened until a quick glance at Frankie told me he had taken a Death Bomb shot for her. Of course he did.
He was on the ground, looking at OriKanan. OriKanan was especially important to Noah, because he was the first puppet he had made after escaping his Darth Noah self. Kanan Jarrus was his favorite character in Star Wars Rebels, and had spent days tweaking and perfecting OriKanan until he was perfect. And it was the puppet he had with him the first time he went on a real-date with Frankie. At said date, he had created a Hera Syndulla puppet for her, and they had carried those around ever since; Frankie was just carrying around Pyn Erso because the situation called for it. Which, I had actually helped make. And, he had just gotten it back after Tommy had borrowed it for awhile during a mission.
He didn’t seem too upset, though, just… melancholy. He looked at Frankie as she ran for the tree house, and no sense of regret was in his eyes. I can tell these things. We are twins., after all.
But in the 2.3 seconds it took me to observe all that, I didn’t see Dan, Chippy or Jack anywhere; just the approaching members of the Knights of Pen.
We were going to have to stall them to buy Frankie some time.
“C’mon, brother,” I said, holding at my hand. Noah grabbed it and readied his crossbow. “If you want to save the Rebellion and your (ugh) lady friend, we’re going to have to fight.”
And in sync, as the Nerf bullets started flying, we started saying, “I’m one with the Folds and the Folds are with me. I’m one with the Folds and the Folds are with me. I’m one with the Folds and the Folds are with me.”
And Origami Baze Malbus was on my finger.
While we were running, we stopped and saw what the Death Bomb did. Then, Remi and James pointed it directly at me.
It launched, and I thought I was doomed. Then, with a Darth Vader “NOOOOOOOO!!!” Noah jumped in the way to take the blast. Now, he is not a big kid in the slightest, and it probably thinner than a twig, but somehow no drop of water hit me. I looked at him for a while as he lay in the mud, but I knew Jacob would take care of him.
I still had a mission to complete.
As I got closer to the ladder, I fired two shots, both knocking Remi and James from their position with the Death Bomb. I was clear; I started to ascend the ladder.
Inside, it was pretty big. It had windows, and prototypes of the Death Bomb. I quickly looked around the place, scanning for anything marked ‘Secret Map/Plans’. Surprisingly, the latter was pretty easy; on a drawer in a desk, I saw marked in Kellen’s uneven scrawl, “Death Bomb Designs.” I opened it and pocketed everything in the drawer into my backpack, even a half-eaten Nutter Butter.
Now, the hardest part: the map to the skittles.
I looked everywhere, under the desk, in drawers, on the ceiling, on the wall, and was just about ready to give up when I stepped on a loose board. This had to be it.
I lifted the board, and to be sure, underneath was a perfectly drawn map of Roanoke, Virginia. And there was an X on the map, marked with ‘Here be Skittles.’ I pocketed it, and was about to get up when the squeaky, voice-cracking voice of Kellen said “Stay down.”
I did not listen, jumping up and spinning around on my heel to look straight at him. He had an origami Director Krennic on his finger, and Pyn Erso was atop mine. How poetic. Also, he had a large water balloon poised to throw.
“You’ve lost, Frankie. I think. I mean, I’m not sure, but I think all of your friends have been captured. Including the twins.” I resisted the urge to look out the window to see if he was telling the truth.
It was nice to see Kellen was still Kellen. Well, evil Kellen, but still Kellen. Coke hadn’t brainwashed any important traits from him. Or had he even been brainwashed?
“Kellen, listen. You don’t actually believe that Tommy and Dwight did all those things, do you? I mean, you’ve been friends with Tommy at least for who knows how long!”
Kellen shook his head. “No. He totally did it. The proof is all there, and I…” He shook his head again. “No. He did it.” He planted his feet again.
“Well, then, guess I gotta go through you the hard way.” I readied my blaster.
Kellen threw the water balloon; or, I guess, he would have, if a Nerf dart hadn’t sped up the ladder, knocked him off his feet and onto his butt, dropping the water balloon which preceded to explode all over him. He lay on the floor, nursing his dignity, as the face of Noah popped up through the floor, along with what looked like the top of Jacob’s spiky black hair.
“Nobody messes with my girl,” Noah threatened Kellen as the rest of his body came up through the floor, quickly reloading his crossbow. Jacob climbed up too. He only had two weapons left; his repeating blaster was slung over his shoulder, and his lightsaber was in his right hand. I noticed he actually had Origami Baze on his left hand index finger.
“Noah!” I hugged him. “Kellen said you two had been beaten.”
“Weeeeeell, he’s not wrong,” Jacob replied, pointing to a rather vicious black eye. “Chippy, Dan and Jack are down there, probably getting their butts whooped.”
Jacob started looking around. “Do you have the plans?” he asked hopefully.
I gestured to the pack under my arms.
“Oh, I could kiss you,” Noah said. Jacob, again, groaned loudly.
I nodded back. “Maybe later. We have to get to the base now.”
Me and Noah slowly climbed down the ladder, trying to be as quiet and cautious as possible. That didn’t work, because the flimsy barrier that the rest of Rogue Wug was holding was falling apart.
“What took you love-birds so long?” Dan quipped.
“Stop mentioning that!” Jacob shouted.
“You guys provide terrible cover fire,” Noah sniped back.
“Give us the plans!” yelled brainwashed Lance. “Coke doesn’t want you hurt.”
“Nice to see he cares,” Jacob snarked. He thumped Lance in the gut with his blue lightsaber. Lance fell over on the muddy ground, pitifully groaning. Brainwashed Amy rolled her eyes.
“Well, nice knowing you all!” Jack said, cheerfully. Two water balloons scored him, knocking him to the ground.
Was this Rogue Wug’s final stand?
“Just wait…” Jacob said, looking outside of the pack.
Here Comes the Cavalry
We were definitely dead. All until reinforcements arrived.
A shower of Nerf darts, little slingshot rocks, and water balloons peppered the Knights of Pen, causing them all to seek cover. The onslaught kept coming, until only Rogue Wug remained.
“What the-” Frankie started, before Vernon and Vanessa appeared through the trees, leading a small group of Bounty Hunters.
“Well, y’all’ve got yourselves in a fine mess,” Vernon drawled, crossing his arms.
“I thought you weren’t risking your neck for us,” Noah said in a snarky voice.
“I wasn’t, until Minch called me up, told me the situation. I couldn’t let y’all die out here alone.”
“And I wasn’t going to let him,” Vanessa added.
Jacob shrugged. “We were screwed. Might as well have used some of our assets.”
“You do know none of us will die, right? I mean, these case files always seem to have a borderline-PG guideline-”
Frankie elbowed me. “Thanks, though, for saving us. We have to get these plans to the [REDACTED].”
“No problem, ma’am,” Vernon said, tipping his hat. “Now y’all go. We’ll hold ’em off.” He unholstered his twin Cad Bane pistols, and moving over to the now stronger and angrier Knights of Pen, who were quickly advancing.
“Thanks, Cut Bane,” Jacob said, just before going. “For saving us.”
“No problem,” Vernon repeated, before pulling out a new puppet. “And call me Saw OriGerrara. Now go! Y’all save the Rebellion! Save the dream!”
And off we went.
Run For the Base
We hauled off and ran back through the forest. We all knew that no matter how tough Vernon and the Bounty Hunters were, they wouldn’t be able to hold off the Knights for long.
Sure enough, scaring the Bantha dung out of me, the Knights were using their skills to catch up; the skill of Crab Soccer.
Harvey crawled right up next to me, keeping up to my run just by crawling. And we are in a very dense patch of trees, people. Harvey wasn’t lying when he said he was the best of the best, as much as it pains me to say it.
“If you won’t give us the plans, we’ll pick you off one by one!” Harvey yelled, trying to jump sideways to knock me off my feet. I was out of water balloons, so I just pulled out my lightsaber and tried to knock him away as best as I could. He dodged expertly, even stealing my lightsaber. He’s good.
I looked over and saw Jack and Jacob next to each other, fending off crab-walking Lance and Quavondo. Lance seemed particularly mad, trying to get back at Jacob for swatting him in the gut. Chippy was no where to be seen, which led me to believe he had already been beaten.
“So, who exactly is Supreme Liter Coke?” I asked Harvey, making small talk in order to hopefully distract him.
“Believe me, I couldn’t believe who it was,” Harvey said, not taking his attention off of me. “I almost didn’t want to follow him. But, here we are now. And he’s right in your midst.”
“Not creepy at all,” I muttered while jumping over a tree branch. I glanced to my right and Jack was gone. This was actually pretty terrifying.
And pretty soon, I tripped on a log, and then I was being dragged away by Harvey.
“Now, you’ll be joining your captured friends.”
“How exactly does that work?” I asked as he led me into the treehouse, where the Bounty Hunters, Chippy, Jack and Jacob were. It was a pretty big treehouse. “I mean, you can’t actually kidnap us.”
“Oh, we’re not going to kidnap you,” Harvey cooed.
“There is a place that is notorious for their brainwashing capabilities,” Mike said, pacing the floor. “It brainwashed even the toughest of us, that is being Dwight. He may be weird, but he has many layers that only the best brainwashing can penetrate. Anyway, that’s where we’re going to take you, so you’ll join our cause.”
It suddenly dawned on me how this was going to play out. We’d be brainwashed, then sent back home like nothing happened, but we’d be enemies of the Rebellion forevermore. It was pure evil.
“Who wants to go on a field trip to Tippett Academy?”
Darth Paper’s Rage
Noah, Jacob, and I were minutes away from [REDACTED]. Everything was about to work out perfectly, and still, nobody was hurt.
If only it had stayed that way.
“We can’t go back to the base,” Noah gasped.
“What?! Are you crazy?” I slowed down to a halt.
“He’s right,” Jacob murmured. “The Knights of Pen are on our tails. If we give them off to Sara by hand, we’ll expose our base’s location. And if Principal Howell learns where Tommy is, he might even try to get him in trouble with the police.”
“Why do you have to be so logical, Jacob?” I moaned. We had all fully stopped by now. “So, what now? We’re just gonna give up and let them brainwash us?”
“No,” Jacob’s eyes gazed into mine, then darted to his feet. “We aren’t giving up. We’re gonna text the plans to Sara.” He yanked a phone out of Noah’s pocket and took two pictures; one of the map and one of plans.
“But, uh… our phone’s out of text minutes,” Noah gulped.
“It’s WHAT?!?” Jacob snatched the phone from Noah’s hand.
“I kind of used them all.”
“Talking to her?” Jacob pointed at me.
“Sorry, bro,” Noah’s face turned red.
“Hey,” I snatched the phone from Jacob. “Since when am I just ‘her?’ What’s with you lately, Jacob?”
Jacob looked at me and sighed. “Do you have a phone on you?”
“Yeah, but it’s too old and stupid to send text attachments…” I growled. “Can we use you guys’ phone to send an email to Sara?”
“But there’s no wi-fi signal here to do that,” Noah said. “The closest place with free wifi is…”
“Wendy’s,” I glared at the sign across the street.
“We’re going to Wendy’s.”
We bolted down the street as fast as we could. Director Kellen and some students with origami Death Troopers were right on our butts.
Jacob slowed his pace. “You guys gotta go without me.”
“No!” Noah put his hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “You can’t do this.”
“I’m holding them off, just go!” Jacob said. He then whispered something in Noah’s ear. Noah nodded, and replied, “You know I will.”
Then Jacob smirked and ran off, brandishing his lightsaber and his blaster, saying, “The folds are with me, and I am one with the folds…”
“What was that about?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Noah replied.
I took Noah’s hand as we ran ahead, hearing the sounds of nerf guns a-blazing and Kellen barking out a contingency order before falling silent. The director was defeated, and Jacob was carried away. So why were there still footsteps coming from behind us?
“Don’t!” Noah gripped my hand tighter. “Don’t turn around. Just run.”
“Together,” I said while yanking his arm forward.
He smiled. “Love ya.”
“Back at ya, sweetheart!”
We approached the Wendy’s with tired legs and heaving chests. I looked up from the ground, only to be met with a terrible sight. My heart dropped. Wendy’s was closed.
“The wi-fi might still be working!” Noah grabbed his phone from his back pocket. He ran around to the back entrance while he set up the internet connection and took pictures of the plans and map. I still hadn’t looked behind me. I didn’t know who was following us or how close they were. I followed Noah.
“The connection’s too weak out here,” Noah said. “We have to get inside this back-way. There’s a long hallway and then some automatic doors. Hopefully once we’re inside, we can send the email.”
“Hopefully?” I smacked his shoulder.
“Built on hope. I know.” I smiled, kissing his cheek. His face blushed as deeply as Darth Maul’s skin, just like it always did. “Sorry.”
Noah hugged me.
“Your brothers would be proud of you, Frankie.”
My mind raced. When was the last time I’d thought about Robbie, and Micah? It didn’t matter now. Noah was right. They would have been proud to see their sister doing the right thing for a change. We kicked open the backdoor, and walked down the long, dark, abandoned hallway to the automatic doors ahead.
“It’s jammed!” Noah’s voice cracked. Footsteps could be heard behind us.
I turned around.
A kid with long brown hair, a red lightsaber and what looked like Harvey’s stolen Darth Paper was standing it the doorway. His lightsaber was pretty fancy; it was one those ones that lit up and made sounds as you swished it.
“You must be this JC I keep hearing about,” I said, remembering Sara’s description of him. “Not sure Harvey’s gonna like you using his puppet.” I backed up against the automatic door. Noah was still trying to open the it, biting his tongue in concentration. Finally, out of frustration, he kicked it with all of his strength. It slid open obediently. We immediately bolted inside, JC following us.
“Full WiFi bars, yes!” Noah shouted.
JC immediately jumped over to where he was. He was a pretty agile guy, I’ll give him that. Noah reflexively tossed his phone over his back to me. Guarding me so JC couldn’t get me, Noah unholstered his blaster and fired off every shot he had. JC deflected each one. He the Nerf gun aside and started pushing JC back. JC kneed him in stomach, and then whacked him hard with the lightsaber. He grabbed Noah, dazed from JC’s violent attack, and threw him aside. Noah slumped to the ground. I was running out of time.
“You jerk-face!” I yelled at JC.
“Send it, send it!” Noah shouted, desperately. I fiddled with every button, in panic forgetting how to operate a phone. Finally, I got to the text message screen, found Sara’s contact, inputted the files, and pressed send-
The phone zoomed out of my hand and into JC long, evil fingers. He was munching a Skittle, I could tell. And more than one, apparently, because then all the Knights of Pen appeared, brandishing weapons.
“As you can see, you could not beat us. All too easy,” JC gloated. But, something made him hesitate. A singular “swoosh!” He looked at Noah’s phone; his thumb had been on the send button.
“Big Daddy Coke ain’t gonna like that,” Noah snickered. I snorted as well.
“JC, wish it back!” Knight Jim shouted, panicked.
“I can’t!” JC replied, also panicked. “I used all of my Skittles to wish you guys here!”
Me and Noah busted out laughing. I slid down next to where he was sitting and hugged him.
“Well, we still have them at least,” he said. We gulped. In response, he waggled Darth Paper under our noses. “Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.”
On cue, the Knights all surrounded us, igniting their lightsabers, ready to take us away to an uncertain fate. Well, partly uncertain; I knew we’d still have each other. Noah looked at me and I looked at him.
“It was a pleasure working with you, OriKanan Jarrus.”
“The pleasure was all mine, Pyn Erso.”
“They took my best men and my base,” Sara growled, staring at the pictures on her phone. Frankie had transmitted the plans and the map, so there was that.
“They want to play dirty, so we play dirty,” she growled, moving into my garage, where she had already started on her next project. She was pretty good with a hammer, I must say.
“‘But I tell you, don’t resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.’ That’s Matthew 5:39, NIV, by the way,” I quoted, trying to get her to stop.
“And I fully believe in that,” Sara said, not looking up from the trebuchet she was building. “But this is war, Tommy. We can’t afford to turn the other cheek.”
“But we have the map, too, you know,” I said. “We can find the Skittles and just reverse all this.”
“Think of this as a precautionary measure. Coke probably has a copy. We have to beat him to it, but we also need to be able to defend ourselves. And with only me, you, Dwight and the Bounty Hunters against them, we need all the help we can get. I bet he even knew we’d end up getting the map somehow.”
She hammered in a couple more nails.
“But we’re the good guys. We shouldn’t use this.”
Sara stood up, admiring her creation.
“Fine. We’ll only use it if we get in a really tight spot. But for now, admire it for a while.”
I had to admit, I looked pretty good.
“This is the Rebellion’s Death Bomb.”
THE END… for now.
Written by SuperFolder Darth Noah
Edited by SuperFolder CJ