Episode XVII: Splinter of the Mike’s Eye
Splinter of the Mike’s Eye
After a shocking confrontation between Chippy and Mike, we found out that Mike had secretly been creating the SuperFolder Protection League—under the sinister command of the mysterious Bounty Hunter known as V—and had planned an “Order 66”-type command, tricking all the kids we thought of as friends, such as Eggbert and Zach—into thinking WE were vandals and bullies! Now, I trusted Eggbert. He wasn’t evil when he blamed me. He just misunderstood the situation. But Mike took full advantage of him. After being bad in baseball, I wondered how he was so athletic, because he did a home base slide past the door Eggbert was guarding, and flew off. It was like the scene where General Creasious got on his huge bike and flew away from Obi-Wan!
I looked around while I was running. There was not a doubt in my head: Mike was heading for the doors. So I realized my advantage. Mike has his mom drive him to school. It was pretty late in the school day, so Mike’s mom was probably either already in the parking lot, or she was still driving there.
I ran outside and found Mike. His mom still wasn’t there. He glanced back at me, then pretended to ignore me as he paced the sidewalk. I walked up to him, placing my hand on his shoulder.
“Dude,” I said. “Chippy told me everything. About the Bounty Hunters, Grievous, Vanessa…..”
“Don’t,” he said. “Don’t you say her name. You’re the one who actually bought into V’s scheme. I would have expected you to make a case file to prove her innocence. I was waiting! And you did nothing of the sort.”
His words stung. I guess I should have thought about it. But even he sounded pretty confident about her being V when he was zip-lock tied in a corner and we saved him.
“But wait, if V blackmailed Vanessa,” I said. “Why the heck would you join HIM??”
“Tommy, it’s like in the Dark Empire comics,” Mike smiled. “I’m only playing into V’s game long enough that I can make my OWN case file to deduce his identity!”
I gulped. “Mike, you know full well that it doesn’t work like that. You’ve witnessed what that’s like firsthand. Remember when I pretended to join up with Tony, Ruth, and Arnold? And how it took Sara to snap me out of it?”
Mike sighed heavily. “You’re right. I can’t face this alone. What do we do?”
I smiled. “I know exactly who to call.”
Chapter 2: The Plan
We met Jacob out on the playground. He was sitting on a small table with three different laptops, and all of them appeared to have their webcams on.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Lomax,” Jacob greeted me in a business-y tone. I did a slight wave. I had Mike with me. His head was down. “This is the Origami Jedi Council. I have been reporting to them ever since I came back here to school.”
“Whoa,” I gasped.
“The members of the council are; Ryan Knight of Williams Middle School,” He gestured to the first laptop. It showed an African American kid with slick black hair. “Me,” he pointed to himself. He turned over to the second computer. “Francesa Boyd of Tolkien Middle,” She I knew. Kellen and I had ruined a budding relationship between her and- “Noah Jekan of Williams Middle, my brother.” I gasped. I hadn’t seen Noah in over a month. I didn’t know if he held a grudge.
“Now,” Jacob began, “Let’s get started. Mike here has been charged with treason for wielding an origami General Grievous and vandalizing the school.”
“Mike? Why?” blurted out Ryan.
Mike slurred angrily. “I had a good reason to…”
“And that is?” asked Frankie.
I started to speak. “Well, it all started with the Bounty Hunters…”
“Bounty Hunters?” Noah said with surprise. He sat back a little too far and the chair that he was sitting on fell out from under him.
“Yes, the Bounty Hunters. Well, I guess it kinda started with V-”
“No Bounty Hunters. No V,” Noah quickly dismissed my claims. “Mike’s guilty. Case closed.” The laptop broadcasting Noah turned off.
“Oh no…” Francesca moaned.
“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked.
“Noah’s experience with the Bounty Hunters was a bit, well, difficult,” Jacob said. “Every time someone mentions the Bounty Hunters, he gets some…um… I guess you’d call it anxiety? Long story short, Francesca and I decided to never mention it.”
“O-kay…..” Mike said. “So now we have one less guy to help us out. How are we gonna stop V now?”
“Don’t worry,” Jacob said. “I have a plan. Tommy and Mike, you guys are gonna go investigate this mystery about V. Once we figure out his identity, we can be that much closer to ending this whole mess.”
“But,” I started. “Who’s gonna help clear our name? I’m not sure if you noticed, but if someone says you’re a vandal on the loudspeaker, most kids believe it without question.”
“I know that full well, Lomax,” Jacob growled. “But look, just tell Kellen that it’s his job to clear your names.”
Jacob sighed. “Well….May the Force Be With Us All.”
Chapter 3: A Humdinger Hummer
I was walking into the lunchroom, when I saw Sara, Lance, and Quavondo sitting at a table.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” I said.
Sara turned to me and said “Hey Kellen…” She kinda seemed gloomy.
“Okay, look,” Sara sighed. “We have a problem. You see, the case files were stolen. But the weird thing is that the person who stole them only took Episodes 7-16, and left a note.”
She handed the note to me. I picked it up, and began reading through it.
I closed my eyes. “Great….Ruth’s back.”
“I have a bad feeling about this…” Sara grumbled. “V’s secret Bounty Hunters could have consisted of anybody, which I guess includes people like Ruth. Who’s next? Harold Hummer?”
I began leaving the cafeteria with Lance and Quavondo when Luke Skyfolder was shot off my finger by a paper airplane dart. I looked up to find—thanks Sara—Harold Hummer, with an origami Gold Squadron of paper darts!
Lance rolled his eyes. “Not this garbage again.”
I ran past the flying darts, but a couple of them hit me. One of them actually gave me a nice paper cut.
“Everyone, look!” Harold said. “It’s the Bounty Hunters! Kellen, Lance, and Quavondo!”
We all glanced at each other. I was told by Tommy that I was supposed to clear our names. All I was doing was making the situation worse!
“Guys, listen to me!” I said. “You know us! We stopped FunTime, remember? We’re the good guys here!”
Some students quietly considered this, but others kept booing and hissing. They began throwing their food at us. A full-scale food fight had begun! I grabbed a couple packs of hot sauce from one of the angry students. I’d keep it for later, just in case.
“Run, you must!” Fruitigami Yoda said from Dwight’s finger. “Handle these hooligans, I will!” Dwight ate Yoda, stood up from his table, and began eating all the food that was being thrown, in mid-air! We ran from the cafeteria, but Harold followed us.
We ran into the library, Harold following us, and bumped into Ruth.
“Excellent job, Harold,” he said. He was reading through our case files, and occasionally he would blank out certain words or sentences. I tried to get a closer look, but Ruth snapped shut the case file he was reading. “Hello, Kellen.”
I grumbled. “Ruth.”
Harold picked up a book from the shelf behind me. On its cover it said, “Star Wars: The Essential Guide to Vehicles and Vessels”. Inside were marked pages. “We’re going to be making these bad boys out of … Office Supplies!” cackled Harold, as he expertly turned a stapler into a Star Destroyer.
“V will be very pleased….” Ruth said. I couldn’t move. If I did, Ruth might rip the case files into pieces. I was trapped.
“Join us, Kellen,” Ruth said. “It is your destiny…”
“I’ll never turn to the Dark Side,” I smiled, whipping out my hot sauce packets. The two of us stood still. If we moved, the case files would be gone and Ruth would be covered in Diablos’ sauce. I stepped back, keeping my packets ready to squeeze and fire. I winked behind Ruth. Mrs. Calhoun snatched the case files, and kept Ruth from going anywhere. I tried to block Harold, but he shoved past me and made his escape.
Mrs. Calhoun handed me the case files—which had a couple things about the Drawa and the Bounty Hunters blanked out from it, but not too much—and then she sighed. “Don’t worry, Kellen. I’ll make sure everybody in the school knows you’re innocent. I’ll go report it on the loudspeaker right away.”
Chapter 4: Chippy vs. Tommy
Tommy and I met up with Chippy at Dom and Billy’s Pizza Parlor. Chippy ordered us a small pizza—Tommy was suspicious of this—and laid it down on the table.
“Mind if I pray?” Chippy said.
Tommy shifted uncomfortably, but I didn’t mind. After praying, Chippy sliced the pizza into three equal pieces for each of us…well, he tried to. Tommy’s slice looked more like a pre-eaten pizza boat than a pizza slice.
“Oh c’mon, man!” Tommy cried. “This is a new low! Even for you!”
Chippy looked confused. “Whoa, bro, what’s wrong? That’s MY slice.” He put the biggest slice in front of me, and a pretty big slice in front of Tommy. He took the sliver. “I’m not really a pizza person.”
I took a bite of my pizza. I choked and spit it out. I tried not to draw attention to myself, but Tommy noticed.
“What’s wrong?” He said.
“Oh, um…” I stammered. “There was just, a, uh…hair in my pizza.”
Tommy glared at Chippy. The kid had long unruly blonde hair, kinda like Dwight’s. It could easily get into stuff.
“Well well well,” Tommy said. “If it isn’t a blonde hair in Sara’s pizza. And OH! I don’t HAVE any hair, so I couldn’t have been mine!”
“Tommy…” I growled. “I think it was MY hair.”
Tommy frowned. He knew full well that I was pretty ticked at him now. “Sorry.”
I gave him a caring look. I couldn’t be mad at him for long. Not with his cute smile and—
Tommy’s Comment: This was frankly so embarrassing for me, and I didn’t want Harvey commenting about it, so I deleted most of it. But yeah, Sara thinks I’m pretty awesome.
“So Chippy,” Tommy said, awkwardly trying to change the subject from practically accusing poor Chippy. “Any leads on V?”
“Yeah,” Chippy frowned. “I believe it was that kid with the cowboy hat. My spies found out that his name was Vernon O’Brian. He was Vanessa’s brother. I thought maybe they were a brother/sister duo on this whole thing…”
“What happened?” Tommy demanded. He had a vendetta with that kid. He’d actually helped lead them straight to the Bounty Hunters the first time. But could that have been just a ploy to get them off the Bounty Hunters’ track?
Chippy cleared his throat, and started his story.
Chapter 5: Vernon O’Brian
So, Arnold and I heard Lawrence and some bullies at lunch say that V and some new Bounty Hunters were planning to personally fill the school with their vandalism. They were all meeting in the art room. When we got there, I ducked behind a trash can. Arnold hid underneath a desk. I didn’t see Bo-bag Fett. Instead, I saw Tony with Jango Felt, and some familiar bad dudes. But their leader wasn’t Jango. It was…get this…Cut Bane. All the Bounty Hunters seemed to be looking up to him, but the kid wielding Bane was blocked from my vision because all the other kids were swarming him. He quietly waded through the group, and stood boldly away from them. He was totally decked out like a Western cowboy dude. Striking black boots, dark skinny jeans, a navy blue vest over a brown shirt, and – like Tommy said – a cowboy hat was perched atop his head. What his hat’s brim didn’t cover of his face was obscured by his long blond hair. He smirked.
“Howdy, ev’rybody,” he spoke with a Southern drawl. “Thank y’all for comin’ to this meeting. I am Vernon…” He paused. “Hello? Who’s there?”
I held my breath. Had he noticed me?
“Yes, you!” he said. He walked closer to me, and kneeled down. Closer…closer…
“YOU!!” Vernon pointed a finger at…Arnold. “Who. Are. You?”
Arnold didn’t quiver or get scared or anything. Instead, he stood up, brushed off his pants, and looked Vernon straight in the eye.
“I’m your newest recruit. Arnold Farrell. There’s a kid – a spy – hiding right underneath that desk.” He pointed towards me. I was betrayed.
As soon as Vernon moved the desk, I ran. I bolted out the door before they could catch me.
Tommy’s Comment: I glared at Chippy. “Dude!”
“What?” Chippy looked uneasy.
“Why didn’t you tell us that sooner??” I bolted up from my seat, rode my bike home, and began writing all of this down. Then I called up Mike.
“Hey man,” I said. “I think we’ve got him.”
Chapter 6: V
I walked into the Principal’s Office. Vernon was sitting in the principal’s chair.
“Howdy, Tommy,” he said in a thick Texas accent. “I guess we haven’t been formally introduced yet. Name’s Vernon.”
I caught my breath. “You’re V.”
“Y’know, I never really had an interest in keeping my identity secret. That was Ruth’s idea. He’s way too theatric sometimes. Weird.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, yep. I run the Bounty Hunters. Always have. Long story short, my sister Vanessa didn’t like what the school was doing. She asked Origami Yoda for help. Yoda told her to make a club or a petition to try and change the school’s mind about stuff, like the Origami Rebellion did. She made a club, and got people like Lawrence, Gabe, Francesca, and Chuck to join in. Their idea was to bring their petition to the Principal and see if the school would approve of their requests. The school didn’t care. The Principal practically shrugged them off. I had a better idea than they did. I took a more—ahem—drastic measure.”
“You vandalized the school,” I glared at him.
“Well, dang-nabbit, I guess that sums it all up,” he smiled. “I got Mike to be General Creasous. I got Harold, Tony, Ruth, all those guys and more to be my pawns. I even blackmailed Vanessa into pretending to be me. Lawrence helped, of course. He pretended to turn good, and pointed that paintball gun straight at her. We made a good plan. Even ratted out the wimps. Y’see, Tommy, ya’ll could’ve deducted my identity, and my plan still woulda worked. The secret of V was never my identity. It was my plan.”
“Well, since the school’s already yours now,” I said. “Why don’t you just fill me in on your plan? It doesn’t make much difference now anyway.”
I turned on Kellen’s recording-thingy from my back pocket. I’d need to have the truth recorded if I was gonna get Vernon busted.
“Shoot, why not?” Vernon grinned. He pulled out a couple chairs opposite each other and sat down in one, facing me from a work table. “Sit down. Get comfortable. This story’s killer.”
I cautiously made my way to the seat, and sat down, carefully making sure not to stifle the microphone segment of the recording-thingy.
Chapter 7: The Conversation
Transcribed by the recording-thingy
Vernon: Well, I guess it all began with my cousin Tony and his Jango Fortune. He sparked an underground revolution in the school. Students were given fortunes that said things like, “the school is failing,” or “you must take a stand.”
Tommy: So, your cousin made Vanessa and her friends nervous about everything, and then they made their club, and you ruined it.
Tommy: So…you ran this whole thing? You were V?
Vernon: C’mon. I told you this already. Sheesh.
Tommy: So, wait, can you just settle my conscience and say, “I am V?”
Vernon: I don’t have to. You just did.
[SCUFFLING NOISES. RECORDING-THINGY HITS THE GROUND.]
Vernon: Sweet niblets, I was right. You’re trying to blackmail me. But thank ye greatly, Tommy. I’ll get Lawrence to edit the audio, to prove the terrible truth to all of yer friends: You were V all along. And I, the heroic Vernon O’Brian, stopped you.
Tommy: No! Please!
Vernon: Sorry, Tommy, but this ends now—
[DOOR BURSTS OPEN.]
Mike: Say hello to my little friend!
[ORIGAMI DART HITS VERNON IN THE FACE. SCUFFLING NOISES.]
Mike: Tommy, I got the recorder! Let’s get out of here!
Vernon: Well played…well played…..But this isn’t over.
[RECORDER TURNS OFF]
Chapter 8: When Will This Craziness Ever End???
We had Vernon. Kellen’s Rebellion against “Operation: Yavada” worked out. And now, McQuarrie was finally, FINALLY free from the Bounty Hunter vandals. Any kids left who had been part of that operation—Lawrence, Harold, Ruth, even Mister Tony D. Struction himself—were forcibly transferred to other schools. I’m just happy we didn’t have to resort to any of this stuff with violence, or else we probably would’ve gotten in trouble too. (Well, okay, Mike threw an origami dart at Vernon, but that can be justified).
We held our victory celebration in the Bounty Hunters’ old hideout, where we were allowed to Yub Nub to our hearts’ content! Math Teacher Rabbski even joined in too!
Plus, we had another reason to celebrate! Since Mrs. Yavada obviously wasn’t really our principal, we were given an announcement about our new McQuarrie Middle School Principal.
“McQuarrie students,” Mrs. Calhoun announced. “I’m thrilled to announce our new McQuarrie Middle School Principal…Principal Howell!”
Kellen’s screaming was music to Howell’s ears. He finally had his dream position. He laughed loudly, and I couldn’t help but feel great. If Principal Howell was the worst of our troubles, well… I’m sure the rest of this year will be just fine.
“A disturbance in the Force, I feel,” Origami Yoda said. “A new prophecy, there is.”
We all circled around Yoda, and waited patiently for him to begin. But instead of Yoda, this time Dwight told us the prophecy, in plain English. No Yoda talk.
“Yoda’s Bane is coming here,
The evil foe. McQuarrie’s fear.
The fate of McQuarrie will become dire,
At the return of the dreaded FUNpire.
A New Beginning will arise,
As Origami Yoda dies.”
Written By Various SuperFolders