(Credit to Captain_Origami for the Batfold puppet)
Future Unknown for Wade Enterprises? Who Will Gain Possession of the Company After the Unexpected Death of the Two Founders?
By Charlie Dixon
On Sunday, June 10th, 2018, within mere hours of each other, both Adam and Lizzy Wade passed away due to food poisoning, thought to be from contaminated food from their restaurant chain. They had a booming business spread over sixty countries, running their soup and meat restaurant “Citizen Wade.” However- where does the company go to next?
Well, due to Alan Wade being a freshman in high school, there’s no way he’s ready to take on the company. He’s the one biological child that they had.
Currently, Jonathan Mordecai, Adam Wades’ college buddy, is leading the company, and we think he will do just fine. However, time will tell.
So, what do you, the fellow reader, think? Do you think Mordecai will be able to carry on the legacy Adam and Lizzy Wade created? Will Alan be able to take up the company later in life? We will host an editorial segment next week, dear citizen.
Batfold’s Secret Files and Origins
By “The Presence”
You probably will never know my name. I do not want you to know my name, what I do, or my connections to anyone. This is a collection of writings, voice recordings, newspaper clippings, and interviews that I’ve managed to piece together to form a cohesive collection of stories. I personally do not enjoy Citizen Wade’s meat or soups, not enough salt for me. Alan Wade, if he’s being real, is not some nobody. I don’t know anymore. This feels like a breakthrough for me, some code is broken, and I now must share it. Well, I don’t have to, however, this could blow a case wide open, if I had enough info, that is.
To begin, Alan Wade is but one of the many kids with different sets of skills. He excels in all of his classes, he- wait, why should I tell you this when I could show you this?
Here’s a report card that I found in his home dumpster:
Name: Alan Wade
Grade: 9th (freshman)
E101 Advanced English: 93
H100 AP World history: 95
S548 Forensic Studies: 98
S623 Intro to police: 92
M103 Algebra: 94 ———- (Math is his hardest topic, he has to be in academic.)
S202 chemistry: 96 (He gained his biology credit while in grade school.)
E839 Engineering: 99
A301 Working with paper: 100
Now, of course, I can see you asking “But Presence! This proves absolutely nothing!” Actually, bucko, it does: Alan Wade is incredible. Now, of course, I can’t find his other report cards, and all the advanced, honors, and then the one academic class probably doesn’t help my case, but you must trust me when I say that he’s smart. Teacher comments prove the same thing, that he’s smart. I could only find three, however, they fit the bill.
Mr. Nolan (A301:Working with Paper): Alan is a smart student, mister and miss Wade. He rarely, if ever, gets paper cuts. He puts in the work needed and beyond, he’s even managed to teach kids how to fold little finger puppets! It’s neat and all, he’s liked amongst his peers.
Ms. Oldman (S623: Intro to Police): Alan knows the police code. If this is a field he decides to go into, he won’t be sitting around, eating donuts and drinking coffee. He will be out slicing and dicing, cutting and bashing. He knows justice, and if he takes policing next year, he will have a greater sense on how to deliver it.
Dr. Keaton (S202 chemistry): He knows how to make things. This is both true for this and engineering, which I teach both. You guys have raised him right.
You guys have raised him right. Yeah, I guess you did. However, it sucks you two died. All because they had some bad meat, just a case of “oops! I ate some raw cow and now I’m dead” syndrome. There is no “Joe chill” case. There is no shooting in an alley, just a case of bad luck, right?
I’m telling you now that I believe they were killed. Do I have the proof? Well, no, I just started this.
However, I feel like it’s true.
If you want a face to the name “the Presence,” then chief, I’m sorry to tell you this but it’s a no from me. Confidentiality. I mean, just imagine a dude with a bowler hat. That’s all you need. I’m any face, any shape, I just have the bowler hat.
I’m friends with Alan, well, as much “friends” as you can be with one of the richest kids at school. I don’t sit at lunch with him, but I’m in every class with him, that’s why I’m called the Presence, I’m present at every event. My three other friends will be assisting me in this journey, however, they’d prefer it if I didn’t exactly specify what their names are. They think I’ll slip up eventually and our names will come about. That won’t happen man, I promise. Anyways, their names are: “The Voice,” “The Source,” and “The Hand.” Apparently, I wasn’t invited to the name deciding event they hosted, even though we all agreed that meetings happen at my house, during our Star Wars RPG event! Golly, no respect! I see how it is. Anyways, at our meeting at my home last week, this happened:
“Chief,” I asked the Voice, “Why those three names?”
“Dude, have you never read anything remotely DC?” He asked, pushing his glasses up.
“Yeah, I have, but I don’t see how these go together.” The Source put his head in his hands, mumbling “Oh my gosh.”
“Dude, you know the Presence is an actual character in DC, right?” The Source asked.
“No chief, I didn’t,” That’s embarrassing on my part.
“Well, he has three other parts of him, he’s like, the creator of the DC universe. A simple look at the Wikipedia page of ‘The Presence’ will tell you about the four different forms of the Presence, which is the Voice, the Hand, and the Source… There’s also someone called Wally, however, we all agreed to not choosing him.” The Source said. He had a lot of knowledge when it came to DC comics’ films, novels, and comics. He named the chapters of this.
“Well, The (REDacted)’s name is Wally.” The Source said. That was true, (REDacted)’s name was Wally. I mean, it’s a bad idea to risk it. We can’t be known, as you’re already aware.
“Makes sense, I didn’t think of that, my bad. So, I guess we outta assign roles for each other?” At the time, I already assigned the Source with his role as DC historian. He would be responsible for tracking any references to the comics, the films, and who would make these awesome titles, amiright?
“I know what I’m doing,” The Source said, “however, I can’t think of the point in W- I mean the Voice, and the Hand.”
“How good are you, Voice, with transcripts?” I asked.
“Transcripts?” he asked.
“Transcripts, where you write down the word for word script of what happened in a video, or audio recordings, rings a bell?” I asked. Man, I needed to start this game soon, that air of tenseness and boredom is so annoying.
“No.” The Voice said, “Listen, man, I didn’t choose this name, (Redacted) did.”
“Yo, yo, yo! His name is the Source! You call him that, man. Also, it would work! You doing transcripts would work! The Voice should understand how to transcribe voices!”
“I mean, I can talk better than all of you. 100% in communication skills, right here.” the Voice said.
“Okay. The Voice is responsible for both interacting and transcribing.” I said.
“Then what do I do?” The Hand asked.
“You, uh… you hand Alan and other people stuff.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m your courier?” He asked.
“Listen, I’m trying to fit your names that you chose.”
“I did take a spinner for twister, and it was first come first serve.” The Source said.
“So that’s the source of all that confusion? Get it?” I nudged him on the shoulder, “Eh, get it? Just a little name pun.” I went back to the group, “Anyways, are we all fine with that?” The Hand sighed. Everyone else nodded, “Alrighty then.”
While my main focus should’ve been on being the GameMaster for the Star Wars game, I was focused on other things, one of which was what was Alan Wade doing?
Alan Wade had just lost his parents four weeks ago. After the funeral, he hasn’t been seen anywhere in Jutefruce, California. I don’t think he went to the surrounding city of Burbank, or Iocana either. I know for a fact he wouldn’t take a trip up to Weisinger Harbor. California is too big, man. Anyways: a couple days after they passed, a wooden plank with painted letters saying “Please do not come to Wade mansion until:” and there was no date for when we can come. I guess he’s gonna give us a two week notice for when we can come over?
I got his report card from their dumpster, which was outside of the gate, by the way. It wasn’t me jumping over the gate, I’m too big to do that.
Here’s the main problem with him just, you know, disappearing: I cannot make progress with this. It’s July 13th, school starts in a month and three days. He hasn’t been seen.
Alan is an only child. He doesn’t have anyone else except the butler, Mr. Whogley. Mr. Whogley has a grandson, CJ, who will typically comes over for the first semester and then leaves after Christmas.
I don’t see much of Mr. Whogley, he tends to be the one that drops Alan and CJ off and stays at the mansion, cleaning up.
Before they died, the Wade family would host a party for Alan’s class at their house a few days before the end of the summer. They had a massive pool, a hedge maze, a movie theater. It was pretty neat, however, I can’t imagine being the only kid in a huge home like that. It would be sad, sitting around in massive, open spaces.
When I visited Freshmen year, Alan was the life of the party. That year, it was hawaiian themed. Me, the Source, the Voice, and the Hand all went. We all dressed in hawaiian shirts, with the Hand dressing up exactly like Grandpa Max from Ben 10. When we all entered the home, “Over the Rainbow” by Israel kamakawiwo ole was blasting on speakers all over the house and outside. Alan Wade stood at the entrance, holding a stance in which he clasped his hands together. He wore a black and yellow hawaiian shirt with little Batman logos on it.
“Welcome to Wade Mansion, uh-” He couldn’t remember our names, I looked over at them, “Alan, this is (Redacted), (REDACTED),and (redacted).”
“Oh! And who are you?”
“(REDacted), of course.” Alan snaps his fingers, “Duh, of course! Please enjoy the party. We have ‘Minions’ on in the theater.”
“This is the second year in a row you’ve played that.” The Voice mentioned. He had a knack for using his voice for stuff like this, saying the stuff you’re not supposed to say, but we’re all thinking it.
“I’m quite aware.” Alan mentioned with a smug smile.
Alan has always been charismatic. He knew his way with words, and the little smirk that he does after each sentence just shows he knows the right thing to say.
The whole party we stood in the back of the room. People were wandering around, drinking punch, or soaked because they’d just jumped into the pool. Mr. Whogley saw us standing around, and walked over.
“Master (redacted), (REDACTED), (Redacted), (REDacted), would you like me to do anything?” Whogley could pass for George Clooney’s stunt double. He had the grey hairs, but dye it black and he would look twenty years younger.
“No sir, we’re fine.” I said. He frowned at me.
“Well, you guys are standing in the back doing nothing. I could at least order you a pizza, or maybe some Wade soup made by our chefs?” He asked.
“No thank you, I’m fine.” I said, however, my three friends had different ideas.
“We’ll take a pizza!” The Hand said, pointing at the Voice. The Source waved, “Can I get a meat and cheese soup, potato sticks sprinkled into it?” Whogley wrote their requests down on a notepad and walked away. I turned to them.
“Guys! Don’t make the old man work!” I shouted.
“Dude, look at how swole he is! He should be in the next Marvel movie, not cleaning and taking 14 year old kids’ requests for how they want their soup!” The Hand exclaimed. I sighed, because I knew he was right.
We waited on our food, which was hot on arrival. The Source chugged his soup down. I had a slice of pizza. We sat at a table near our corner, watching everyone bop around and dance.
“So,” the Source began, “This soup tastes different than the soup by my house.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s like, it has more flavor to it. It’s saltier. It’s like the original recipe, I guess.” I nodded at his explanation. I never liked that stuff. I’m sure I’d grow to love the ramen when I go to college in three years, however, now is not that time.
The floors were sticky. People had spilt water, punch, rice somehow,and soup. They didn’t care, they were just enjoying themselves.
Everyone was dancing with Alan, when suddenly everyone’s favorite class clown, Conrad Mordecai, lands face first on the dance floor. Everyone started to crack up at it.
However, we weren’t laughing.
I don’t see the point in it, he does these silly tricks, and everyone praises him. Even Alan was laughing at it.
“Uh, s-s-sorry guys, I didn’t mean to d-d-drop all of my ‘shwag’ on you all.” A mass amount of “Ooooos” were heard in the crowd.
“Oh yeah, Conrad? You want to go?” Alan asked.
“Sure, l-l-let’s break it d-down!” Conrad was the son of the Vice President of Wade Enterprises. Conrad never liked Alan. That was made clear from when we entered into Pre-K. He always felt jealous of Alan, as though Alan was basically the company. He couldn’t wrap his head around that that’s just how it is.
He stood up, looking around the circle that formed around Alan and him, and they started to, well, break it down. They danced back and forth to some loud wave music. Alan did a backflip. Conrad did a sick robot. They continued to dance until Alan did a front flip, somehow kicking Conrad in the process. Conrad fell backwards. People watched, thinking that Conrad was going to do a smooth “oh man I’m dead but look I got back up” move, I mean, the bass drop coincidentally occurred as he hit the floor, however, he landed with a thud and didn’t get back up. Alan motioned for the DJ to stop the music, and Alan ran over to Conrad.
“He’s out cold.” Alan said. I got out of my chair to get a better look. Alan continued to shake him, but suddenly, he got into action. He pointed at me, “You, call an ambulance.”
“Me?!” I shouted.
“Yes you, you goobert, call an ambulance.” Alan then pointed at this kid named Noah.
“As for you, get some water. Just go to the kitchen, get a glass, fill it with water. That’s it.”
“Alan, how do you know all this?” This other kid named JC asked.
“Basic First Aid camp, man.” Alan kept Conrad’s head up. I dialed 911. At the time, we were all panicking, however, Alan remained calm. That’s when I noticed something about him: Alan Wade is cool, not just personality wise, but he’s cool under pressure.
I gave the address, and in lickity split, the JuteFruce hospital got a new customer: Conrad Mordecai.
The party ended shortly after, just because everyone was so shaken by it. We all left early, because we didn’t know the full grasp of the situation.
So, back to today. Alan’s parents are gone, and the house is nearly empty except for him and Whogley.
There’s some mystery behind what happened after that day, however. For some reason, Mordecai didn’t leave the company. In fact, he was happier than ever to be working again, because quote “I have a purpose for coming in everyday now.” That purpose being: covering for Conrad’s speech impediment, which got worse after the fall, and covering costs for tutoring and food.
However, I never saw Conrad again. Nor did anyone else. He was never mentioned by Jonathan, and after the Wade family deaths, Jonathan Mordecai posted a post using twitlonger, which didn’t even mention his son:
It is with great sadness that Citizen Wade’s Meat and Soup’s creators and CEOs Adam and Lizzy Wade recently passed away on June 10th, 2018. We here at Citizen Wade’s Meat and Soups enterprises are saddened by the announcement, however, we believe in the mission statement: To provide good food and good feels. Do not be upset over this, as we shall continue; we shall survive. Jonathan Mordecai, the new CEO at the request of Adam Wade, has already made strides in creating Citizen Wade a safer place. We wish the most luck for their son, who needs time to himself.
Keep eating meat and drinking soup.
-Johnathan Mordecai, CEO.
I’m not even sure if Alan is aware of this post. I don’t think they’ll let him own the company afterwards. Calling it right now: it’ll be Conrad, if he’s not severely hurt, he’ll take over the company. Alan Wade will be forgotten, and the Citizen Wade origin will not be known except on the wikipedia page for it.
But, at the same time, I’m not sure. There’s a part of me that believes Alan does have what it takes to be the CEO of the company, however, he has no direction. He’s smart and responsible, but does he really have the chops to do it?
I need to get in touch with him. I need to get in touch with everyone he’s associated with. I feel something is brewing, but, I just can’t quite put my tongue on it.
There’s some person running around lately, throughout the entire town, with some origami finger puppet that is too hard to see at night. I have no idea what it is, however, The Voice believes it’s an origami Batman. He’s started calling it Batfold around the group. It’s kind of stuck. The Source thinks it’s Alan, but I don’t think he’d be that crazy. I mean, what kind of teen plays around with finger puppets? That’s kiddy stuff.
The Presence’s comment: I’m going to start doing comments with other people, such as the Voice, and hopefully Alan himself, if he’s comfortable with that. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll make him aware of this?
The Voice’s comment: Bro, why should you? He doesn’t need to know. Also, Alan Wade is totally Batfold, you can’t stray me away from that thought. I tell you what, I’ll go and interview JC.
The Presence’s comment: Do it! No guts, no glory.
The Voice’s Comment: Watch me.
Interview Recorded by: The Voice (Told you so, Presence.)
Interview participants: JC Russell
Background: JC Russell is the star swimmer for the Kane High Junior Varsity team. He sits with Alan at lunch everyday. Same JC from the other story. It’s crazy!
JC: Dude, you have the answers to the summer reading, right? That’s why I came here, (REDacted).
Me: Yeah man, just- uh- take a seat. Yeah, take a seat on the couch and I’ll get them for you.
JC: Alright dude, thanks. I’ve been working at it lately, trying to understand it. Typically I’d ask Alan to do this but-
Me: How is Alan, by the way?
JC: Dude is broken.
JC: Broken, I told you man. Mom and Dad die, he has nowhere to go. Last time I saw him he started collecting a ton of comic books. They had money out the wazoo, so like, it’s not a big dent in the company.
Me: So like, what are the comic books, if you don’t mind me asking?
JC: You know how every year at the party he shows the entire Batman Trilogy? Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Returns, those three?
Me: I thought he showed only the Minions.
JC: Oh shoot, (Redacted), I’m sorry, I was talking about his secondary party, the one where he has only a few of his friends over.
Me (while shuffling through notes): Wait, for real?
JC: Yeah, it’s like: me, Terry D’Lunes, Adrian Maccoy, and a few others. It’s very small. He has the stipulation that we have to wear suites and stuff. We sit in the theater and watch all the Batman films, back to back. Every year. We show Minions hoping less kids will come, however, nothing stops you and your buddies, I guess.
(JC crossed his arms as he said this.)
Me: Ouch. Any way I could come with?
JC: As long as you don’t bring your weirdo friends with you. Also, why do you wanna come?
Me: I-uh-I’ve never seen the Nolan trilogy.
(JC stood up at this, shocked and disturbed.)
JC: Say what? That settles it.
(JC opened his backpack, taking out a wrinkled piece of paper)
JC: So you see, he has been sending out invitations on torn out, wrinkly graph paper. It says you can bring one friend. I was going to bring Jessica, however, I have no choice but to bring you. The Nolan trilogy is just too good to pass up, broskie!
Me: Alrighty then. Is he having another party?
JC: No man, sadly he’s not. Exclusive event, you cannot tell anyone about it. Capetch?
(He said Ka-Petch instead of Ka-peesh)
Me: Yeah man, I’m “Ka-petching what you’re Ka-peeshing down.
JC: Alright, I’ll be here next week. I have a question, what’s that thing? (He pointed at my recorder)
Me: It’s my dad’s Sony Walkman.
JC: Why does he have it on the mantle? Is it as important as, like, that Van Gogh bust and that picture of you and your family?
Me: (Stumbling over my words)Yeah, it is. He met my mom with it.
(JC raised an eyebrow)
Me: It was the summer of 1992, he was wearing tin foil and listening to -uhhhh- Queen. Yeah, Queen. You know, Freddie Mercury?
JC: I know who Freddie Mercury is. Listen, I didn’t know how important that walkman was to your Dad, you don’t have to give me the full backstory to it.
Me: Alright man, it’s just, you asked.
JC: And I recieved. I’ll see you later. Hey- get me the summer reading questions done by Monday, I’ll be back again, unless you have them ready. You’ve been shuffling through that backpack for a while.
Me: Man, I can’t find them. I’ll print them out later.
JC: Alright, see you next week.
(JC left my house, and I picked up the recorder)
Me: Stinks to be you, Presence! I’m going to a party and you’re not!
Presence’s Comment: Ouch, low blow. It does make me wonder, what has been shown at these parties? Why doesn’t he have everyone over?
Are we really that bad?
The Voice’s Comment: Well, you are. I wouldn’t say I am.
Presence’s Comment: Even LOWER of a blow. You didn’t even get any valuable info!
The Voice’s Comment: The party is of some value!
The Presence’s Comment: How is it of some value? I’m not even going to be present for it! This totally breaks my character.
The Voice’s Comment: Maybe you should stop complaining and just acknowledge that I can speak better than you.
The Presence’s Comment: Alright, I trust you mister “I-believe-Alan-Wade-is-Batfold.”
The Voice’s Comment: Notice how he got sidetracked about Batman’s trilogy. Alan has to be Batfold.
The Presence’s Comment: Coincidental.
Batfold: No Man’s Land Part 1
By: The Voice
Going into “No Man’s Land” should signify a few things. According to Wikipedia: “No man’s land is land that is unoccupied or is under dispute between parties who leave it unoccupied due to fear or uncertainty.” Another thing that No Man’s Land should also signify that “a 7.6 magnitude earthquake hits Gotham, causing a government issued evacuation of the area, with the bridges being destroyed, and Batman must fight off criminals until it’s safe to enter again,” wait… Source, why did you want me to put this?
Bah, we’ll talk about that later. No Man’s Land also signifies that I’ve never been to a private party done by some rich teen. I don’t know who’s going, besides JC, Terry, and Adrian. I’m an odd one out.
My mom took me to Quick Advantage, a store in JuteFruce where you can rent suits and jackets. She rented me some navy blue suit. I didn’t think I needed a suit until graduation but here I am, trying to find the right fit for next Saturday.
On a typical Saturday during Summer, I’d be sitting around, eating chips and watching TV. I would hear my brother screaming in the other room over some silly thing going on, or, I’d be texting someone like Presence. I know he’s going to see this eventually, but, it feels like all we talk about nowadays is the Wade Family deaths. I don’t know Alan. To tell you the truth, I think this Batfold thing was something conjured up by the news to scare people into doing less crime. I just tell Presence that it’s Alan to throw him off track. It’s fun to hear him try to debate with me over such a insane topic like finger puppet wielding do gooders fighting people in the streets.
Last year, a nearby high school called Shuster high added guards. It’s a boarding school, right next to our public school, but they added guards and borders. Everytime we pass by it, it looks more and more like a prison. Kids are already moving in there, with their teal jackets and button up shirts.
It’s crazy to think that after this party, we’ll be starting school monday. I’m afraid for Kane High. Last year, there was a huge influx of bullying. Like, kids being shoved into lockers. Someone spilt milk down the Hand’s shirt (He smelt spoiled for a few days. Ironic- he spoiled Justice League a few days before).
I know I’m jumping from point to point, I’m just so nervous.
I wish I could tell you guys my real name. It feels so uncomfortable, you know? I have so much I want to tell you guys about myself. Who I am, what sports I play, who my friends are. What’s my hair color and height? My favorite fictional character? I want to tell you guys everything, but I can’t.
And I wish that JC would knock on my door, tell me that it’s time to go, and I can leave. You know what’s insane? My mom is making me clean up the house like the party is here. JC is coming over to pick me up. He can drive! He’s not here to do a house inspection. What would he say? “Man, (REDacted), your mini fridge is nice and all but this Comedian button magnet is a bit off center.” Mom! My Bedroom is in the basement! He’s not going to see that!
I don’t know. I’m writing this in the middle of the night, worried out of my mind, drinking a ton of Superman energy drink (This stuff is gross. Why did I decide to put my body through such pain?!), and I’m trying to finish this summer reading book. JC expects those questions by tomorrow and I’m not even done with the book? I just really need to focus and
(To Cut Page Length: Dude decided to pass out on his keyboard. He just crashed while writing this. It was a constant P for 4 pages, and then k for the rest. -The Source
PS: I told you at Dennys that you were going into a No Man’s Land. You asked for a definition, and I told you about the Batman comic series of the same name. You really can’t think when tired, can you?)
The Presence’s Comment: Wait-what? You’ve been throwing me off track this whole time?! Next time I see you man, I swear.
The Voice’s comment: Yeah, so?
The Presence’s Comment: You, why, I should beat you to a pulp!
The Voice’s Comment: I’d like to see you try.
Batfold: No Man’s Land Part II
By: The Voice with commentary from the SOURCE
Welp, I’m sorry for that mishap. I’m really scared now, I haven’t finished the book still, and I have fifteen questions! I’m typing this while I read, so like, give me a few.
I’m coming up with some stuff now, such as the themes of it. The main plot I ripped straight from wikipedia, and I just can’t understand a single thing of this silly, badly translated mystery novel about some dude trying to find a serial killer called “the Bat.” Some dude with a crazy name wrote this story.
The main theme? Don’t struggle a lot over something that’s impossible to figure out? I don’t know.
I’m excited, I’m dressed and everything. I think that- oh! It’s the doorbell. Bye guys, I’ll see you later! (Source, I’m leaving the editing open for you for when you get back.)
Gladly. So, hey guys! I have to go to Walmart today. Here’s my full shopping list:
– Batman Ice Cream x2
-Batman and Robin
Gonna be a fun night tonight, right fellows? I’ve seen Batman and Robin before, however,this time it’s in HD; and it’s worse than before! While W-Voice is out partying, I’m going to be sitting at home, crying at something that could’ve been great, but I get this awesome Batman Brownie Bite Ice Cream- It has little bat shapes!
So, with the recent craze of origami finger puppets going around, I was thinking- what would be my origami finger puppet? I mean, the source is the creator of the entire DC universe. I have the Source Wall, right? I’m the one that sits here and proofreads these rambles. I also know the most about DC. Without me, the Presence’s entire case and ideas would crumble. I’m the space time continuum. No one can break me, and if they do, boy oh boy would this story go down the shredder.
Well, my mom is saying it’s time for me to leave. I think I could also get some chicken nuggets?
Bro-Bro-Bro- hear me out: Batman shaped chicken nuggets! You could have the cowl, and the logo, and just a oval to represent the logo, and the batarang. Man, that would be epic!
Well, bye guys! Love y’all!
So, I just got back home, sorry that it took me a day… What the heck did I just read? Anyways, my teachers always tell me that I can paint a picture with words, so let me attempt this for you:
The layout of Wade Mansion is 24 rooms, all consisting of a different thing, and 10 of which are bedrooms and or guest rooms. When you walk into through the entrance, usually by a limousine, apparently, you are greeted to a massive foyer. There’s a huge chandelier hanging above the foyer, lighting the place up, and showing two staircases. Both lead to the same point, the next floor.
Behind the house is a pool and a basketball court. When Mort King asked if he could shoot some hoops, Alan simply turned around and said “No.” No one ever asked again if they could shoot hoops.
The was a VR room, complete with a high end gaming PC (‘My Dad built it for me,” said Alan, with a soft tone and glossy eyes’) and a HTC Vive, complete with some circular treadmill. No one attempted to try and ask if they could give a try, but when I tell you all of us were hyped over it, I’d be telling you the truth.
The next room he showcased was his new library, which apparently last year housed nothing but soup making books, and classic novels. Now, and I’m not lying here- Source would have a stroke. It was filled to the brim with comic books. Sure, there was one shelf now for soup recipes, however, everything else was comic books.
“So Alan,” JC started, “How much did these comics cost?”
“I got them off of a couple collectors. I’d say roughly 300,000 dollars? I mean, I’m telling you now I don’t have Action Comics number one in here, but if I could, I would.” Alan stated, pulling one book out after the other, “Oh, now this is my favorite: V for Vendetta. So good. Alan Moore also wrote Watchmen, and the Killing Joke. Golly, great stories. You ever read the Killing Joke, (REDacted)?” He asked me.
“No, that’s the one where the Joker makes Batman laugh over a joke, right?”
“To tell you, looking at it directly like that, yeah. But, there’s a lot of mystery to it. What really happened that night is left in the air.” I raised my eyebrows at this comment.
“I have some Marvel ones as well, it was a mixture of both. Whogley sorted them. Over here is the Marvel collection.”
“It’s all X-Men.” Terry D’Lunes said.
“Yeah. That neckbeard claimed they were rare but they aren’t. I could’ve gotten them all for ten cents each at a Half Priced book store.”
As he was showing us the rest of his collection, Mr.Whogley announced on the intercom that dinner was ready.
For some odd reason, it wasn’t soup or meat. It was pizza. Shaped like a bat.
So you know how I made the joke that Alan Wade is Batfold? I’m doubting that’s a joke. He had a ton of knowledge on Batman. Not only that, but there’s things like this. He’s not being subtle about it, but none of these kids are picking up on it. All of Alan’s friends brought their friends who don’t know anything either.
The meal was silent. Here we sat, in our blazers and sport coats, eating pizza, once again may I reiterate, shaped like a bat. The pepperonis and sausages and bacon on the pizza was in abundance and it was so savory, however, I couldn’t get my eyes off the fact that it was a bat shaped pizza.
After we finished, some kid asked “So Alan, how are you feeling?” and the table remained silent, “You know, after your parents, like,” everyone was looking at him now, waiting for him to say it. We were all thinking it.
“After my parents what, Jimmy?”
“After your parents-er-passed away?”
“I’ve been the same old me, you know! I just showed you my entire setup for gaming. I love this stuff. Guys, you all know why I brought you here today.”
“Why?” I asked. For a second, he looked at me. He couldn’t recognize me, like, at all.
“To watch the Dark Knight Trilogy! I hope you brought your pajamas, cause this is an all nighter. 8 hours in total of awesome Batman fun, and I get to spend it with my friends.
“Bro, school starts tomorrow.” JC said.
“You think I didn’t know that, JC? We have a bus out back to take you all to our first day.” Everyone raised their eyebrows, we didn’t think about that.
“So, we need to get started, or else we won’t even have time to finish them!”
The Dark Knight trilogy is a great movie series. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it, go watch them. They’re so great.
Around the Dark Knight Rises, everyone but me and Alan were asleep…
And then I said it:
“So, Batfold, what caused you to start doing this?” It was three AM, and Alan sat silently.
“I… I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat on a young boy’s shoulders to let him know that the world hadn’t ended.” Batman said on the film.
“I love that line,” I said, “Would you call yourself a hero, Alan?” Alan sat there, staring at me. He then stood up, and began walking away.
“Where are you going, Wade?” I exclaimed. He turned to me.
“I’m going to the library, you can join me, if you like.” He slowly opened the door, and I followed him. We walked through the hall, his footsteps loud in the quiet hallway. We reached the library, he stood by his comics.
“Why’d you take me here?” I asked. He removed the Killing Joke from the shelf.
“Let me find it real quick.” He flipped through the pages. Around the middle of the comic, where the iconic scene of the Joker has recently turned, laughing over it. Alan held up a origami finger puppet.
The finger puppet, I’m telling you, guys, was a detailed form of a Batman puppet.
“This is Batfold.” He said, “I came up with the name myself.”
“Yo- our case file also named him that!”
“Bro, my friend, (REDACTED), he started this case file because he thinks that-” I realized what I was about to say, and I knew if I said it, he’d kick me out of the house, “you have Batfold. And look at this! He was right!”
“Ok, ok, so you were already suspecting that I was Batfold? Was it that obvious?”
“Well, maybe?” He crossed his shoulders.
“I wanna help. I can give you info, not much stuff is going down.”
I sat down in a chair, “Tell me about your first night.”
“Okay. So my first night was two weeks after my parents passed. I started doing it because I knew that’s what my parents would’ve wanted. They wanted me to take over the company first and foremost, but have knowledge in policing too. I’ve noticed just how bad it is here. My first night wasn’t huge. I was stopping petty crimes. You know old woman Jenine? I was walking by the walmart when I saw her. Some kid came up in a mask, and attempted to rob her.
I told the kid to stop, but he wouldn’t. I took out Batfold, and I socked him across the face. It was a clumsy punch, however, he was stunned. He held his face for a bit, and looked at me.
Something overcame me. These finger puppets, man, they change you. I wasn’t my full self. He tossed another punch at me, and I grabbed his arm. I didn’t break it, however, I twisted it. He fell down, and ran away. Before Old Woman Jenine could say anything, I was gone.”
“That was your first night? Did anything else happen?”
“No. I came home, and Mr. Whogley asked me where I had been. I lied and said I took a walk around the neighborhood. I didn’t even tell CJ.”
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He’s sleeping upstairs. He’s starting freshman year tomorrow, told me he had to get a good night’s rest or something.”
“So, I have another question,” I started.
“Shoot away.” Alan said.
“Would you say there’s been a decrease in crime?”
“You want to hear something crazy? There has. But, the weird thing is: They’ve started using origami too.”
“Hold on, what?”
“My first two weeks led, through word of mouth, some vigilante exacting justice with an origami finger puppet. It became a joke amongst kids to fold their own goon puppets. I’m calling it now, it’s going to be the next trend. Kids’ll make puppets of themselves, alter egos. Kane High will be filled with them. They’ll have to ban them like Fidget spinners and Fortnite.
And Finger Puppets, like I said, change you. I feel like I’m myself when I use Batfold.”
“But, you are Alan Wade.”
“I can’t be myself, though. I’m a husk, dude. No one understands who I really am.” Alan said. He rubbed his head, “It’s a headache, man. And to think: this all started because my parents tried some experimental soup.” I raised my eyebrows.
“What was that?” I asked.
“Hmm? Oh, that Mordecai had some idea for a new soup flavor. He spent a few nights working on a ‘reheatable soup’ to put in stores. A few hours later, they both keeled over.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” I said. Alan yawned.
“I’m so pooped. (REDacted), be honest with me, did you want to come here to meet Batfold, or is there another reason?” I sighed.
“You know (REDACTED)? He believes that your parents were killed.”
“Excuse me?” he asked.
“It’s quite irrational, really. He’s been obsessed with this idea. I don’t believe him, though.”
“So what you’re telling me is that my parents didn’t get sick from soup, rather, they were shot and killed?”
“Not shot, no. We didn’t get that far.” Alan thought for a while.
“Why? Alan, they just recently passed, are you sure you’re ready to like, try to figure something out that may not be real?”
“You’ve seen the news? People don’t believe in a finger puppet fighter yet here we are. Something can be false, but how can we know that until we get there?”
“Yeah, so let me help. I’ll write stuff on like, you know, different people that I fight. If I get info out of it, then you guys get to figure out what it all means.”
“But what if it’s just saving an old woman from robbers?”
“Then you don’t explain it.” He said with no sarcasm. He cracked his knuckles, “Do you have like, a Google Doc or something?”
“We do, I guess I’ll email it to you?”
“Yeah, do it. I won’t touch your older things, but from now on, I’m one of you. What should I call you guys, by the way?”
“It’s a lot to explain and I’m too tired to explain it. You’ll get it after you read it.” I said, rubbing my eyes.
“Okay. Get some rest. We have the first day tomorrow, y’know!” He then whispered, “and the start of Batfold’s true career.”
And, well, that’s that. I went to bed, woke up, got dressed, and rode the bus to school. We were all tired the whole day. I’m sorry I didn’t sit with you guys, Alan asked me to sit with him. We talked casually about the Dark Knight series like we were there.
Also, if you guys see a “Batfold@wade.soup” hop onto this doc, that’s, you know, Alan.
The Presence’s comment: I’m at a loss for words.
Alan Wade’s Comment: Then find them.
Kane High School Central
I told you guys so. What did I say? “Oh, I’m calling it right now, every kid will have finger puppets.” Well, lookie here, every kid has a finger puppet.
Now, I don’t understand the way the puppets and the villains and whatnot work yet. Like, can anyone adopt the role of Batfold? What unspoken rules are there? I have seen like, two or three kids with Barbara Gordon finger puppets. The only one I’d trust is the principal with Commissioner Gordon and his daughter, Emily with Barbara. But I saw Emily today and she had some random puppet that looked like her with blonde hair and brown eyes. I don’t understand- it’s obvious!
Today the Principal did the news, and all he did was hold up a unfinished paper bag, said “I’m principal Bagboy” and talked about some returning students, such as Conrad (great, now I have to see the kid I kicked in the head a couple years back), and explained that there was a party day coming up for Freshmen. Principal Bagboy looked around, said “Hmm, what’s that? Oh boy, we are having a meeting Wednesday afternoon for Environmental club, and we are also having a football game next week! This week, bring your finger puppets! It’s a puppet-out!”
It’s a game to them!I knew that the moment I did something out of the norm it was going to turn into a trend.
Hey, Voice, thank you for saying at the lunch table yesterday “You should have a Bruce Wayne puppet because you’re the richest kid here.” Like, great idea! No one would suspect a thing.
I took your suggestion by heart, by the way. I made a puppet of Bruce, however, I’m only keeping him in my pocket for safe keeping. I’m bringing a book every week to hide Batfold (He’s a good Bookmark too.) I hope a teacher doesn’t walk by and says “Hey where are you in And Then There were None ?” and then open it and see- oh badabing badaboom there’s Batfold!
Did you hear Steve today during Geometry? He talked about how Jessica was upset that her Lily of the Valley plant was gone. I feel like that may be a case for Batfold. The meeting is tomorrow, I kind of want to know what exactly happened, you know?
The teachers are hard, so sometimes there has to be more Bruce Pleat and not much Batfold. I hope you guys understand.
I’m excited to work with you all!
The Presence’s comment: Thank you, Alan, for wanting to do this!
The Source’s comment: Well, that warms my heart, Wade. Glad I have another friend to geek about comics over.
The Voice’s Comment: You’re welcome for the idea of the Bruce Pleat.
The Hand’s Comment: Man, I forgot this existed. Who knew that the Hand’s role in all of this was so useless? I’ve started commissions on puppets, and, uh- well, we will talk about it at this weeks meeting.
Alan Wade’s Comment: a Meeting? Can I come?
The Presence’s comment: No.
By The Presence
So, we will be using the voice recording done by the Voice for the accurate words we said. This won’t be put into the case file until it’s completed, due to the fact that it contains more personal things we don’t want Alan Wade to see quite yet.
We sat down at our table in the basement for our Star Wars RPG game. We got our die out., and the Hand held his hand up.
“Yes, Hand?” I asked.
“Let’s talk about this situation.” I nodded at him, and he opened his binder.
“Now, typically I’d use this for my Pokemon Cards, but, I’ve started this for prototypes of my different commissions I get. I got a few, such as Lindsay McCormick demanding I make a puppet of her, or a jock who could’ve fold for the life of him, but I got one… special case.” He flipped through the pages. I saw different tears, some crumbled pieces of paper, until he found it.
“She paid me twenty dollars for this and ten bucks for another. My flat fee is five so you know if she’s paying me this much I have to make it the best thing ever.” He hid the puppet from us, but he took out a notecard that read:
Name: Jessica Zinnia
Origami: Poison Foldy
Based on: Poison Ivy in any of her comics and or games.
Secondary Origami: Pamela Orisley
Based on: Pamela Isley
Why?: I want revenge on whoever stole my Lily of the Valley plant.
We all looked at eachother. The Hand smirked, taking out four puppets.
“So, now that you kind of know what’s happening, well, uh, which is your favorite design?” He revealed to us the four designs: one was the simple red hair and pale skin, green form of the Animated Series Batman, the next was from Brave and the Bold, with, once again, a simple green shirt and red hair, however, her face was green. We all shook our heads, and he tossed the Brave and the Bold Ivy to the side.
Next was a girl with practically white skin and deep red hair. She had red lips, and some curvy shaping on her body, the half was a deep black, and the other was green. There was extra details on her clothes: Leafs. She had a vine coming from the side. We really liked that one, but then he took out the next one.
It was the Poison Ivy from the Arkham Asylum series, with her prison uniform buttoned, and an oddly green yet pale hue to her skin. Her hair was a deep red. She had two arms, one was folded to position as though it was open, and a vine was coming out of it. We were like “holy smokes.”
The Hand Smirked,”Well, which should be the look of our first villain?” He asked. We looked at eachother.
“Hand, would you mind checking up on the Pizza Rolls?” He took the hint, and headed upstairs.
“Well, what do you all think?” I asked. The Voice picked up the two animated series puppets.
“These lack any hardcore designs, they’re simple, but I don’t like them. It’s just not my favorite thing.” I nodded at his insight. He looked at the one with the black and green torso.
“Now, this design is probably my favorite, but,” he picked up the Arkham series form, “I like her folds, like, how did he figure out to fold the arm out?”
“Dude’s creative, I wish I could come up with a better role for him then, well, hand people stuff.” The group went silent, then, the Source motioned at the four puppets. I didn’t pick up on it, and then he motioned at it again, grimacing.
“Oh! So you’re saying he uses his hands to fold stuff for villains?”
“Yeah, you could say that.” The Source said, sighing, “Anyways, back on topic, out of all of these, which is you all’s favorite?”
“I have an idea.” the Voice said.
“Well, say it, homie.” I said. He held up the two puppets.
“So we have this one from… Source you’re the nerd here, where’s she from?” He held up the one with the black and green.
“Hmm… New 52 I believe.” the Voice nodded.
“And we have this one from the Arkham Games, yeah? We really like the design of the New 52, with the green and the black, but we also really like the design of the Arkham one, with the orange vest and light green skin. We also like the fold-work done on Arkham Ivy. This one,” he held up New 52, “Just has a vine taped to her back. It’s distracting and lacks any real design for the fold. This one has her arm out, a vine coming around it, it’s really cool. So why don’t we-” He moved both on top of eachother, “Combine them?” The Source and my jaws dropped at this genius idea.
“Dude, you-you are a genius,” I looked at the staircase, “Hey, Hand, are the pizza rolls done?”
“No, not yet!” He exclaimed, running downstairs.
“So we had our little caucus.”
“I don’t think that’s the right word-” The Source said.
“Zip it. We had our little caucus and we think that if you combined New 52 Ivy and Arkham Ivy into one, it would be epic. We are talking about her arm coming out and like, keeping the green and black design of her torso, but also adding the Arkham orange vest. It would be awesome.” He nodded a bit, looking at both.
“Well, I did bring my sharpies. If you have some paper, I’ll be able to fold it.” I quickly went over to the printer and grabbed a paper out. I also grabbed mom’s cutter, and brought all the materials over to him.
“Pack your stuff up boys, we’re gonna go watch Batman Returns while the Hand works.” We all packed our die, handbooks, and whatnot up and went over to the little living area in the basement. This was my house, my rules, and rule number one: I always have the remote.
After about an hour in, I did a checkup on the Hand. he was sweating, putting in a ton of meticulous details. He had his computer out with 4 different examples of the New 52 and Arkham Ivy. He even flipped it over and did the back too. On the vest he put in fancy cursive handwriting “Belongs to Jessica Zinnia.”
Near the end of that awful movie, he placed the pencil down.
“Done!” He exclaimed. We all breathed a sigh of relief, and turned off the PS4. We walked over to him, and he sat with the puppet on his finger.
“Hello, I’m Poison Foldy.” The Hand said in a badly done girl’s voice. He snorted, “What a loon. What even is a ‘Lily of the Valley?'”
“I don’t know, it’s not something to go all Poison Ivy on. Google it.” I said. He typed in Lily of the Valley on google, and an image appeared on the side. They were little white bells.
“Wow, how pretty.” the Voice said. The Source leaned in.
“Wait…” He scrolled down to the “People also asked” section.
“Are you seeing this? All of these pertain to how poisonous it is.” He pointed at the screen. The Hand clicked on one question in which it said that it was poisonous to eat.
I looked at the Voice, and the Hand turned to me.
“Holy fruit snacks.” I said.
The First Battle
By Alan Wade
I sat in my study, reading over the different soup recipes in there. It’s ironic, I have all these comics, yet here I am, reading what made my parents rich. During these times of respite, I tend to just think.
I wanted to include CJ on the Batfold stuff, make him my Orobin. However, I don’t want to include him in stuff he shouldn’t be involved in. My parent’s death is not his problem. We haven’t spoken a single word to each other ever since the school year started. I see no point, we are both focused on other things.
I turned the page in our soup and meat recipe book. Meatloaf soup with parmesan was a favorite amongst friends, but it only made it to two restaurants in the country. It was neat to look at the soup making process.
When I turned the page again, there was my mom and dad,beaming as they held a pot of soup, presenting it to the camera, like they were offering me to taste it.
I could feel the tears forming from my eyes. The first drop fell from the left, and then I just continued to cry. Crying was not something I do. I don’t cry. The last time I had cried this hard was the funeral, and that was months ago. You turn to stone, you’ve been through the worse, how bad could it get now?
Mr. Whogley walked by the library as I cried. He peered in.
“Master Wade, how are you feeling?” He asked, walking in. He carried a tray full of Hostess cakes and a Wendy’s Baconator, “I was just bringing these to Master CJ, but he can wait.” He covered the tray up with some insulator. He sat it down on the table next to us, and he sat down in a chair.
“What’s the issue?” He asked.
“I miss Mom and Dad.” I rubbed my head, “It just sucks, man. One day they’re there and then,” I snapped my fingers, “like that, they’re gone.”
“That’s your battle you have to fight.” He stated. I looked up at him, his caring face sighed, “They were great people. I think that they would be very proud of the man they see right now.”
“Mr. Whogley,” I sighed, I knew it was probably time to tell him this, “Mr. Whogley-I-I’ve been hiding something from you.”
“Mr. Wade, we have a lot of secrets, nothing shocks me much anymore.” I reached into my pocket, and took out Batfold.
“Who?” He asked. I raised my eyebrows.
“Have you watched the news at all? There’s a kid going around beating up bullies and petty thieves. I’m that kid. Every night when I say I’m just going to Gamestop, Whogley, I’m fighting the fight the police don’t want to do.” He rubbed his chin.
“I figured something was up when you’d return empty handed.”He took the puppet from me.
“Did you make it yourself?”He asked, examining it.
“Yeah. I folded it, and it became a trend at school.”
“Alan, anything you do at school becomes a trend. Have you seen your wardrobe? Hawaiian shirts out the wazoo. By George, I’m surprised to see a kid not wearing a Hawaiian shirt when the day ends.” He chuckled softly, and I laughed.
“Mr. Whogley, you always know what to say when I’m down.”
“That’s what I’m here for. Now, you can continue this Batfold nonsense, but on one condition.”
“Do what your parents think is right. Now, get to bed, the first week isn’t over yet.”
I went to bed that night, tired from the crying and my head hurting.
The next day was Wednesday, and apparently you guys had a meeting? I got a text from the Presence this morning saying you all had a lead, and that I had to go to the environmental club, and that I needed to bring my disguise and Batfold with me.
I don’t have a disguise. I just have a few hoodies and a balaclava. I mean, I’ll take the balaclava, but then I’ll look more like I’m robbing a gas station rather than protecting the school.
Well, I’ll say some stuff after school today, peace!
I’m back. And man, was it crazy.
I don’t know what led you guys to believe that Jessica Zinnia was some wacko, I mean, she was dating JC! I’ve known her for years, but she’s super different over a plant.
The first meeting for the environmental club was small, there was only three members besides myself, and Jessica was mad.
She started the meeting all happy, her tone was high pitched, and she was full of smiles.
“So, fellas, I hope you guys are excited for another great year of saving the planet!” She stated. I crossed my arms, and she looked at me.
“It appears we have a new member, would you like to introduce yourself?”
“Hey, I’m Alan Wade, and uh,” I clapped my hands together, “Let’s save the Earth.” Jessica smiled.
“So now that we got the first order of business done, let’s move onto the second.” This kid to our left nodded.
“Who stole my Lily of the Valley plant?” We all looked at eachother, silent.
“Well, don’t make me ask again.” Jessica gritted her teeth. Her blue eyes were full of rage.
“It wasn’t me, you know I’ll always protect the plants no matter what.” The kid that nodded earlier said.
“Thanks, Michael.” She said, “But that doesn’t count you all out, including you, Alan.” She glared at me.
“Listen, I didn’t know there was an environmental club until Principal- I mean- Mr. Bagboy encouraged kids to join on KTV.” She nodded.
“Makes sense. But as for you…” She turned to the girl sitting next to me; the Principal’s daughter, “You have full access to this school at all times, did you take my precious plant?”
Emily gulped. She looked at me, as though I could help.
“I didn’t- I swear, I didn’t!” Jessica frowned harder than before, “Not the answer I want. Dang it, you all!” She turned around, pushing a few potted plants off the table. I jumped.
“I need that plant! You know how dangerous it is? The school trusted me to take care of it. Goodness!” She grabbed her head.
“One thing I require you all to do is take care of my plants. This is a community effort, and is getting your plants stolen something that you would say is taking care of them? It’s our responsibility.” She held onto the marble table. She reached into her pocket, took out a puppet, and put it on her finger.
“Get out.” She said. We all looked at eachother. When she noticed we didn’t move, she turned around with an empty pot, tossing it at this poor kid. It hit him, shattering. He was knocked out cold.
“I said ‘get out!'” Emily and Michael got up and ran out. I got out of my chair.
“You’re insane, lady!” I yelled.
“Insane? Insanity isn’t a part of it. I’m not insane, Wade. I care about my plants.” She took out her puppet, some combination of the New 52 Poison Ivy and the Arkham series of games, “and Poison Foldy cares about them too.” I knew what I had to do.
I got up and walked out. Michael and Emily were gone, so I put on the balaclava and I got out Batfold. She continued to freak out by the table, shouting about this stupid plant.
“Stop, lady!” Jessica turned around and raised her eyebrows at me in shock.
“Who are you?” She exclaimed.
“I’m Batfold.” Man, that felt awesome to say. She laughed.
“Batfold? Batfold? Oh, boo-boo, you don’t understand, do you? Honey, I’m the leader of this club. They’re afraid of me, so they stay.”
“You rule with an iron fist, and it’s for what, a plant?”
“The Lily of the Valley, you fool,is poisonous to people. It kills. I was trusted to keep track of it, and it’s gone. I may have an ISS for this!”
“You will get something worse if you continue to act like this.”I said.
“So be it.” She said, tossing a few pots at me. The kid was still knocked out. I dodged a few, but I did get hit by one. I gagged, and I gritted my teeth.
“You need to chill out.” I ran up to her, continuing to dodge these pots. She started to freak out a bit, grabbing a sunflower plant and tossing it at me as well. It was heavy for her, and it moved slowly. I knew that if it did hit the ground, dirt would go everywhere. I grabbed it, and placed it down. She continued to panic, she was going to try and run, and I grabbed her.
She yelped, and the kid woke up.
“Hey, Robbie,” The kid looked at Jessica, “If you get him off of me, I’ll give you a kiss on the cheek.” Robbie stood up, wiping the shards of potted plants off of him. He ran straight at me, grabbing me.
“I can feel your heartbeat rising, Bat.” She said, “You’re afraid, and you don’t know how to react. For once, you have a woman in your arms.” I elbowed Robbie, and he fell over.
“I don’t care!” I exclaimed, “Tell me about this plant, who stole it?”
“You think I know? I asked these kids earlier if they knew and not even that Wade kid knew!”
“Wade’s an idiot!” I yelled. I fell back, and I tried to restrain her. She continued to fight.
“Calm down!” I yelled. She continued to growl and shout. I didn’t want to slap her, so I continued to try and tie her hands up. I didn’t have any fighting experience.
I jumped back, closing the door. She ran at me, trying to scratch me.
“Scratching is Cat-Woman’s job. I expected you to grow plants or something.”
“This isn’t some comic, nerd.” I held my fists in a defensive stance, and when she ran at me, I pushed her away. She fell down, and was down for the count.
“Cameras. Check the cameras on May 26th, 2018.” She passed out. I took her puppet, and as I was walking out, I took off the mask.
Emily was standing outside, shocked.
“Oh shoot, Emily, uhm, hey- you didn’t see anything, okay? Do you have access to the security footage?” I asked.
She gulped, “Yeah.”
“Get me the footage from May 26th, 2018.”
“Yeah.” She was too shock to say anything.
“Hey, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll fold you a Barbara Gordon puppet, how does that sound?”
“That sounds great.” She smiled.
“You’re the best, thanks. Now, go get ’em.”
It took a bit for her to get the tapes, but she eventually got them.
“She’ll be getting an ISS, I assume. Your secret is safe with me.” Thank goodness. She handed me the tape, which was, for some reason, on VHS.
I sighed, looking at Jessica. I’ve known her for so long, but, she’s no longer the Jessica I knew. I walked out of the school, and I made my way back home.
I’m back in my library, typing this on my Surface Pro. Mr. Whogley leaned in and asked how I did. I sighed, saying “Well.” He nodded.
“Be careful, Master Wade.”
I sat there, unsure of what to do, or who to turn to. I’m doing this all for them. Not you guys, not the school, for them. I’ll convert the vhs to a media file and send them soon. You guys review the files, okay?
The Presence’s Comment: Will do, Alan.
The Voice’s Comment: alrighty. I doubt it’ll be anything big.
The meeting number 2
By the Presence
So, we sat down in my basement. This time, we didn’t have our Star Wars stuff. We had cords connected to a TV, in which we could show our computer screen. We loaded the security footage up.
It was in full color, and sped up two times. We skipped to the end, where the kids ran out. I saw us walk out, talk for a bit, shake hands, and walk away. Within seconds, the area was empty.
A kid walked in with a Cesar Romero Joker mask on. He was about 6’2, and had a bit of a limp to his walk. It was chilling as he opened the door without any struggle, waltzed in, and a bit later, walked out holding a Lily of the Valley plant. He took off the mask, breathing heavily.
It was Conrad. The curly, messy, red hair and the tilted nose. There was no doubt about it, it was Conrad. I hit pause.
“So… Uh- maybe Conrad did it?” I said.
“Dude, no way. There’s no way he could have done it. He wasn’t even allowed into the school until this year thanks to his brain damage. How would he had known about this plant?” The Voice asked.
“A mole?” I suggested.
“Why would a mole tell him? A mole can’t even speak!” The Hand exclaimed.
“No, you goon. A mole is someone who was a part of the environmental club and knew about it, so the mole told Conrad.”
“Ah. But why would he do it?” The Voice asked.
“Uh- I don’t know.” I said, shrugging.
“Someone has to tell Alan, though.” The Source said.
“Nose goes!” I said, putting my finger on my nose. The Hand followed, and then the Source. The Voice sighed.
“I’ll go. Let me get a photo of this.” The Voice took out his phone, snapping a photo of it “I’ll call my Mom. Give me a minute.” He left for a bit, and we stared at each other, confused and shocked.
How? Why would Conrad do this? Was it really him? Tomorrow was Friday, it’s crazy how all of this stuff was adding up within a week.
A bit later, the Voice came downstairs. He grabbed his stuff.
“She’s dropping me off at Alan’s home. She said ‘It’s so great that you have friends, (REDacted). Be there in a few’.”
I nodded, “Hey, when you go and tell him, be careful, man. Don’t make him mad, kapeesh?”
“Yeah. I gotta go, she’ll be here any minute.” He said, starting to climb the steps.
“Peace out, homie.” The Source said.
Batfold and the Murder at Wade’s Soup and Meat
By The Voice
My mom drove me to Alan’s mansion. Last time I was here, I was in a suit. Now I’m in my regular clothes, getting ready to tell him something that should be said while in a black suit and tie. I knocked on his door, and Mr. Whogley opened up.
“Ah, Master (REDacted)! Welcome. Alan is in his library, working on homework.”
“Alrighty. I just need to tell him something.”
“Is it about the Batfold stuff? Are you aware of that? It sounds like a fun game, by George.”
“Yeah, I’m aware of it. I just need to talk to him about something.”
“Okay, okay. Have fun!” He let me in, and I took off my shoes. I made my way to the library, and I knocked on the door.
“Alan? Are you in there?”
“Yes! Come on in.” I opened the door, and I walked in. He was reading the Long Halloween.
“Hey man.” I said.
“Dude, did you read the story of my battle against Jessica? Dude, it was like, insane broskie. It was great! Did you get anything out of the tape?”
I sat down in a comfy chair, sighing,”We did, we did, yeah. Now, Alan, I don’t want you to be mad when I show you who it is. A simple Google search will show you that the Lily of the Valley is poisonous.”
He blinked.”What are you saying?” He asked. I took out the photo, showing Conrad sweating and holding the plant. I showed it to him, and his eyebrows furrowed.
“What? Is that Conrad?”
“It is, yeah.” I said. He started shaking.
“It would make sense, the next day he would put it in the soup…” He mumbled. I saw snot forming on his nose, “That-That monster.”
“It’s a loose connection. I wouldn’t do anything until we have more proof.”
“Get out of my house.” Alan stated.
“Alan, I think you need to calm down, please dude. Listen to me.”
“No. You listen to me. Get out of my house.” I got up, beginning to walk out of the house.
“You’re making a mistake.” I told him. I got back into the car, and Mom took me home.
As I’m sitting here, typing this, I’m mad at you guys. I can’t believe this. We’ve made a normal kid something even worse than before.
Screw this. I’m done being the Voice. I’m Walter Gilligan. I’m tired of being afraid of who I am, and I’m tired of this game.
The Final Fight
By Alan Wade
I skipped lunch. I saw Conrad in the hall earlier this morning, and I placed a note in his pocket, telling him to meet me in the gym during lunch.
He sat in the middle of the empty gym, his legs criss-crossed. I secretly placed a recorder on the floor, then started the recording. He didn’t see it.
“Alan Wade, my oh my, I haven’t seen you since, what? You kicked me in the head?” He asked, smiling.
“It’s been the best years ever since, you know until my parents died of food poisoning.” He snorted at that.
“Alan, you’ve always been a jokester.” He stood up, “That’s why I’ve always liked you.”
“But they didn’t die of food poisoning, did they? You’ve ever heard of the plant called the Lily of the Valley?” His blank face turned into a smile.
“Yes, yes I have. In fact, Alan, I’m quite associated with that plant.”
“Ah, are you now? Is it because you put it in your Dad’s soup?” He started to laugh at this.
“Oh, Alan, such a detective you are. You want the truth?”
“The whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”
“Yeah, preferably.” He reached into his pocket, taking out a Joker finger puppet from the Animated Series.
“Well, here’s what I did, I had always been a fan of ‘eye for an eye.’ After you kicked me in the head, I couldn’t move like that. I couldn’t kick you back. So, I thought of the next best thing: Your parents. The idea was to do something that not only will make my dad happy, but crush you. I could’ve done a lot of things: sabotage your grades, punch your mom in the gut, but I knew, oh-ho-ho Wade, I knew, it had to make a permanent scar on you.” He walked around me, “You have been a big fan of Batman comics ever since you were a kid. You would tell the kids on the playground about your Batman underwear. You saw The Dark Knight four times in theaters. Heck, you’ve even lived the Bruce Wayne rich kid lifestyle. Thus, that’s when I figured out what I had to do. I had to take them out.” He started to laugh hysterically.
“So, I asked a friend to tell me about the plants in the environmental club. He gave me a list of every plant, and I did research on each of them. When I learned about the Lily of the Valley, I knew that I had to get my hands on that plant. So, I broke into the school on the second to last day, and I stole it. I gave my dad the excuse that it was a new kind of onion, and he let me put it in the soup. It worked! He believed me!” He started to laugh, “When he told me that they got sick, boy oh boy, that’s what made me the happiest. When I saw the Twitter post about their passing, I laughed.”
I took out Batfold, and I punched him. He stood back.
“Oh, you’re mad? Man oh man.” I punched him again, and I continued to beat him up. He never fought back.
There were freshmen walking in, seeing me hit him, again and again. I was bruising him up, and I couldn’t see him because I was crying.
“Alan, stop!” Someone exclaimed, but I didn’t stop hitting. I continued to beat him, and the whole time, Conrad didn’t stop laughing.
“Stop!” The person yelled again, grabbing me and pulling me back. It was the principal. Conrad moved to the side, spitting on the ground. There was a tooth.
“Alan, no matter how many times you hit me, it will never, I mean never, bring back your parents.” Conrad said, breathing.
“You monster!” I yelled. The principal looked at him, shushing him.
“Alan, let’s go to my office.”
“Yes, sir- wait.” I pointed at the recorder on the floor, “That’s mine.” One of you, I think the Hand, was there. You picked it up, giving it to him. Thank you.
I sat down in the principal’s office. He stared at me.
“So, why, Alan? That’s a kid who’s disabled, not safe, and you beat him to a pulp. You see that on your knuckles?” I looked at my knuckles, seeing dried blood, “That’s not your blood. It’s his.”
“I did it because he killed my parents.”
“He’s a teen. He can’t do anything wrong.”
“Listen to the recording.” He pressed play, and we sat in silence. When he heard how Conrad did it and why, he rubbed his head.
“Goodness, Alan, I’m sorry.” He stated.
“It’s okay,” I said.
“I saw your puppet, Batfold, yeah?”
“Well, listen, I’ll keep your secret. I like what you’ve been doing, but, you realize this is not something we condone, right? We are going to have to suspend you for a bit, you understand?”
“Yessir, I do.” I said.
“So, it’s going to be a two month suspension. We’re going to have to open a new section of the school for kids such as Conrad. These kids are dangerous, and they need to be held somewhere else.” He went silent.
“But here’s the deal, we need a hero. We need someone helping out and protecting the place. Bullying is only getting more and more common. So, can you, you know, train someone?”
“CJ.” I said, “But, he won’t be able to stay for long, he leaves at the end of the semester.”
“I understand that. We aren’t going to expel Conrad, by the way. We will send this recording to the authorities, however.” He said. I nodded.
“Now, call Mr. Whogley. See you in a few months, Alan.” He took out Principal Bagboy, who was now redesigned to look like Commissioner Gordon, “And Batfold,” he said, “Thank you for keeping Kane safe.”
I walked out of the school, knowing I won’t see it again until two months.
Thank you guys.
The Presence’s Comment: No, thank you, Alan. We lost Walter, but I hope you’re fine.
The Source’s Comment: You have my gratitude, Alan. I had a friend I could talk to about comics, and if you ever wanna hang out, I’m open.
By Walter Gilligan
Kane needs a defender, someone to watch over it, and here I am. Now, of course, I’m not the strongest dude, but I’m willing to help. I’ve folded a new puppet, a green hooded guy with white skin. I’m not going to interfere, of course, but come time, I will serve my school. I think something is coming.
(Guys, might wanna remove me from this doc?)
By Alan Wade
It’s been a few quiet days, but I finally got the guts to sit down with CJ and talk to him over becoming Oriobin. I’ve gone over this scenario a few times in my head, but I did not expect it to play out like it did.
He sat down in my Library.
“What do you need, homie?” He asked.
“Well, before we start, how bad is bullying at Kane?”
“There’s been a few groups that have sprung up. No one is really fighting it. There’s these two that are fighting with Paintball guns every day now for the past week after school on the Football Field. Why?”
“Well, I kind of want someone to look after it while I’m gone.” I took out Batfold.
“Wait, you’re Batfold? You’re the guy who took down Jessica?”
“Yes, CJ, and I want you to be my Foldbin-I mean, ORiobin. Shucks! I’ve been playing with the name for like, ever.” I rubbed my head.
“Sure, homie. I would love to.”
“Great. Go and fold it.” He got up and began to leave, “Wait!” He turned around.
“Fist bump?” I asked.
He nodded, “Fist bump.”