Sonic the Foldhog 3
Click here to read “The Tragedy of Joe Martinet”
Sonic the Foldhog 3
By Superfolder Noah
Hi everyone! You probably know me by now: I’m Mike Jones, and at Rapids Middle School, I am the one and only Sonic the Foldhog! I run around the school, saving everyone I can because just like Sonic the Hedgehog, I am a hero.
Or at least, that’s what I thought when I started school this year. Because to my surprise…there was another Sonic the Hedgehog!
That’s not allowed, is it?
Starting on day one, I walked into school, ready to start a new year of saving people and fighting villains. My friend Oliver went back to England, but I still have my friend Chandler, aka Shadow the Foldhog! He can be a bit grumpy but I don’t mind at all!
I immediately heard somebody shouting for help down the hallway, and I fast as I could (I am Sonic the Foldhog after all) to see if I could save whoever was in trouble! Chandler followed me, but he seemed annoyed.
But, as soon I got there, someone had beaten me!
A girl was there! She looked like she’d just broken up a fight between a bully and another kid. I don’t know how she did it because she was really small. But the worst part is: she had a Sonic the Hedgehog puppet on her finger. But I’m Sonic!!!
“Hey!” I shouted. “I was gonna help them!”
“You’re too slow,” the girl said, in a really terrible Sonic impression. I should know. The girl looked around very proudly, and displaying her puppet to everyone around, announced this: “Don’t worry, everybody! Mike Jones is out of here. My name is Aubrey Pollock, and I’m the new Sonic the Foldhog!”
Aubrey Pollock? Like Mr. Pollock?
Not only am I fighting a new Sonic; I’m fighting the daughter of my greatest enemy ever!
Immediately, I knew what I needed to do: I called Jacob!
If you don’t know, Jacob was the first Sonic the Foldhog back when he was in middle school, and he’s so cool. If anybody would know what to do, it would be him! Well, again, that’s what I thought.
“I can’t help right now, Mike,” Jacob told me. “I’m having a lot of trouble looking for a job, and I can’t drop everything to help you with another Sonic thing.”
“But Jacob, it’s the daughter of Mr. Pollock! She’s taking over!”
“Who knows, maybe she’s not actually evil?”
Jacob was wrong there. Oh, I promise you, she’s evil, all right. In a single week, this little sixth-grade girl has completely undermined my position! Every single time there’s been a problem at school, Aubrey has somehow beaten me to it, and cackled like a maniac every single time I showed up after her.
“Mike, you’re clearly not up to the task anymore,” she said after helping someone’s cat out of a tree. “You’re just too old.”
“Too old?” I said. “Aubrey, I’m only two years older than you!”
“Better call the senior center, then!”
People seem to be a bit scared of her because she screams a lot. That makes me feel good. But nobody looks to me for help anymore, and I’m supposed to be the hero of Rapids Middle. Not her!
Don’t tell Mike this: but I think I like Aubrey as Sonic more than him.
When Mike isn’t looking, I tend to hang out with her, and she’s actually pretty nice. She can be really mean, but mostly nice.
We shared English class, which is how I ended up talking to her in the first place. I guess because Mike had given me a second chance to be Shadow even after I’d been a jerk to him and his friends, I wanted to give her a chance as well. “Why have you decided to do all of this Sonic stuff, Aubrey?” I asked her one day.
“Because I heard all about how much a problem Mike could be,” she told me. “My dad would come home almost every day grumbling about his kid who my dad was trying to help out, but he would never listen and always wanted to do things his way. Turns out, that guy was Mike!
“I want to be a hero that actually listens to the teachers and stuff and not do my best to get somebody I don’t like kicked out. That’s dumb.”
I was surprised! I didn’t know that Mr. Pollock had thought about it like that. “Well, Mr. Pollock could be a bit of a jerk sometimes.”
“Well, anybody can, idiot!” she said. See, that’s where the mean part comes in.
Whenever she tries to stop stuff, she yells at people. She’s good at getting people to listen, but I think people are more scared of her than they let on. She doesn’t realize that, and that’s where Mike does better as a hero. People just kind of like him.
I hope the two of them are able to see eye to eye before things get worse.
I’ve had it!
I finally did it: I beat Aubrey to a problem that I could solve! One of my friends who had Origami Tails was dealing with a bully. A guy who had Origami Zavok had stolen his test papers, and he was trying to steal them back. And I was lucky: it happened right in front of me!
“You’re too slow, Origami Zavok Guy!” I said, proudly. “Hmm. Maybe Aubrey does say that better.”
“My name is Ethan, Sonic Guy!” he shouted back at me. “See, nobody knows who I am until I have a puppet! This is really dumb.” He pushed Origami Tails kid back and stared right at me. “I’m gonna beat you up.”
Normally, I would’ve tried to deal with this problem in a good way – you know, talking. But I was so ticked off by not being able to solve problems the past couple of weeks that I probably made it worse.
Origami Zavok Guy…or Ethan, I guess…tried to punch me, but I dodged. He tried his best to punch and kick me with everything he had, but I wasn’t letting him. And at the last moment, I stuck my leg out, tripping him up. He tumbled onto the ground, super tired. I won!
“Hold it right there!”
Aubrey came sprinting down the hallway, screaming her head off. “I can’t believe it! Mike Jones, Sonic the Foldhog, beat up a student!”
“No I didn’t! I tripped him! That’s not beating anybody up, unless you’re super weak!”
“That still counts!”
Me and Aubrey shouted back and forth for a long time before we heard another voice.
It was Mr. Allen, our principal. “Mr. Jones! Ms. Pollock! You’re both in trouble. Come with me.”
Just for the record, that was totally Aubrey’s fault.
Mr. Allen took us both back to our office. We glared at each other the whole way.
“You both claim to be the Sonic the Hedgehog Heroes of this school, and yet you spend the whole time fighting!” he said, disappointedly.
“It’s his fault!” Aubrey said before I could say anything. “He won’t let me do anything without making it a competition. I’m just trying to be a good student and help people out, obviously.”
“That’s not true, Aubrey,” I replied. “You’re the one butting in and doing your best to look as good as possible, but everybody is just scared of you! You have no idea how to actually help.” I crossed my arms, my point made.
“Well, maybe you guys need to realize you’re both good heroes,” Mr. Allen said.
Mr. Allen smiled. “I promise! You’re doing good work in different ways.” He looked at Aubrey. “Ms. Pollock, I understand that you’re trying to atone for your father’s work as ‘Dr. Eggman’ or whatever he called himself. You’re quick, and you can spot a bad situation a mile away. That’s a very good skill.
“Mike, you’re a people person by nature, and you know how to see the best in a person. For instance, you helped Chandler stop being a bad guy and become a hero in his own right!”
Mr. Allen stood up and walked to the door. “If you two can learn from each other, you’ll both be the great heroes that Rapids Middle School needs.”
He opened the door, and somebody stepped in that I didn’t expect to see in a million years.
“Mr. Pollock?” I asked, completely surprised!
“Dad!” Aubrey said, completely surprised!
Hi, lame-os! My name is Aubrey and this is my first time writing a chapter for anything. We’ll see if this lasts.
My dad came to visit us at school! After resigning from his position a while ago, I didn’t expect him to ever come back to Rapids Middle. His software development skills are very good and we are very rich anyway.
“Mr. Pollock,” Mike said, his eyes narrowing. For someone two years older than me, he could be very immature.
“Mike Jones,” dad said, his own eyes narrowing. He still didn’t like this kid.
“I asked Mr. Pollock to come down for a few minutes to help talk you two through your problems,” Mr. Allen said. “This rivalry can end here and now, and you all will be better for it.”
“So, Aubrey,” Dad said, looking at me. “You didn’t tell me you had your own Sonic the Foldhog here.”
“I’m sorry, Dad! I know you were Eggman, but I didn’t want to be a bad guy. I think it’s more fun to help people.”
Dad smiled. “Well, good to hear! You should be very proud of your decision.”
“What?!” Mike said. “You were rotten to your eggy core!” He paused, though, and thought it through. “But…if you are fine with Aubrey being a hero…that must mean you’re a good guy now.” Mike held his hand out. “Truce, Dr. Eggman?”
Dad rolled his eyes but shook Mike’s hand. “Truce, Sonic the Foldhog.”
I looked at Mike. “If you want, Mike, I can stop being Sonic. I can choose another hero to be!”
Mike shook his head. “Actually, Aubrey, I’ll be moving to high school soon. We’ll need a Sonic the Foldhog here for whenever I leave. How about we work together until then, and I can teach you everything I know?”
“But, there can’t be two Sonic the Foldhogs, can there?”
“Who says? There’s no rules that say we can’t!”
And just like that, me and Mike were partners.
It’s hard working with Aubrey – she can be really stubborn and rarely listens to what I have to say. But, she has a lot of promise, and I know the school will be in good hands when I leave. It’s not up to me to decide who can have the origami and who can’t; that’s just dumb. Everybody deserves a chance to fold a puppet and be a hero in their own right, and Aubrey helped me realize that!
Chandler and the Origami Tails kid have been helping me out too, and some kids made puppets for Amy, Knuckles, Silver, Blaze…you know, all of the other Sonic people! No matter what, Rapids Middle is gonna be protected from whatever bad guy tries to attack us.
And that’s the story of how Rapids Middle got not just one Sonic the Foldhog, but two!
(P.S. Jacob eventually found a job working as an intern at Mr. Pollock’s software development company. I still don’t trust him.)
Click here to read “Legend of Zeldagami: Skyfold Sword!”
This story is INSANE. I love it. I love how Aubrey is like, the 90s sonic version while Mike is the SatAM version, or is it the other way around? I don’t know, I just like this story a bunch! Two sonics in the VGOU, I wonder what hijinks will ensue in Smash Folds 3.
I also found this story insane!!! I love how Noah just threw in the bit about Jacob getting a job a Mr Pollocks Company!