Origami Illuminati and the Trial of the Funpire
THE ORIGAMI ILLUMINATI
TRIAL OF THE FUNPIRE
The final story from SF Guillermo
A brown haired boy, 1.7 meters tall, brown eyes and a firm smirk stood right in front of a Barnes and Noble store that had just been built.
Had he come to read? To buy a book? No one can tell for sure.
He inserted his hand in his black coat and pulled out his mobile phone, patted several times and put the phone in his ear.
“Will?” A voice said over the phone.
“Yeah, who’s it gonna be, Barnaby?” He croaked, “I’ve been standing here half an hour.”
“Oh, my gosh I didn’t know you were there already!”
“Please shut up and come down.”
Barnaby Leach had been living in the house just above what once had been a store in the process of being built. The taller boy, Will Leach’s brother, stood out from the window and threw a paper airplane at him.
“I’m not coming down,” Will read out loud, “Fine! I had other news but since you’re being such a dingus.”
Barnaby immediately came down.
“What ‘s up?”
“Have you really got so little respect for yourself that you let yourself be bribed?”
I showed him my phone. I had taken a picture of a panel that announced The Weeknd’s new tour around the world.
“Oh gosh. Is it true?”
“Hundred percent, bro. There’s just one problem.”
“We only have a week of vacation from uni. Will it have started by then?”
“Yes, I already looked it up. We’ve got money for travels,” Will started dialing numbers on the phone, “It seems we’re going to Ilkley, or whatever the town is called.”
By Tommy Lomax
“I can’t believe I’m back at it again, Sara!” I was overjoyed by the sudden news.
“We’ll, I’ve been telling you for years, Tommy,” She held my hand, “If your books are a hit, and people like them, the merit’s all for you.”
“Yeah, well,” I blushed, “If it hadn’t been for you, most of the time I wouldn’t even have had a solid ground to start a book from. You’re my inspiration.”
“Oh, no,” She laughed, “Please stop, Tommy.”
“Excuse me,” The waiter interrupted us, “Have you decided what you will have this special evening?”
“Ehm… Yeah, Tommy, you first.”
“I’ll have the… ehm. Mung Dahl bowl or whatever that is.”
“I’ll just have the cheeseburger, thanks.”
“You are so nerdy, Tommy,” Sarah said when the waiter left, “What on earth is a Mundal Bowl?”
“Good question! No idea!” I let out a chuckle, “Anyway, I’ll need the new food adaptation skills for my upcoming book tour.”
“Speaking of which, when is it?” She asked, “I don’t know if I’ll be coming with you. If I do I’ll have to leave the kids over at Mom’s-“
“You don’t have to worry about the kids, I’m sure they’ll be fine. Besides, they need their mother.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you don’t want me to come?”
“I’d love for you to come, Sara,” I explained, “But it will just be a couple of weeks and then I’ll be back before you know it. You don’t have to bother your mother with it.”
“I propose we enjoy the rest of the evening, seeing as they’re already with their grandmother today.”
“Yeah, let’s enjoy it.” She laughed.
We made a toast to the both of us.
“Oh, so you didn’t tell me. Where’s the book tour?”
“Alright, so,” I grunted, “Not to brag or anything, but the tour starts in Japan and continues on to other places such as Spain, France, and England.”
“Woah, so I guess you’re coming back as an international guy then. I never would have taken you for the intellectual type.”
This time it was me who raised an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah?”
“I’m kidding. That doesn’t have anything to do with that. Just remember to have fun as you go.”
“You know I always do.”
I took a sip of the wine and looked at her. Her face, her smile, her everything. It took me back to the time when I was mad for her and it just made me want to cry. Harvey, Dwight, Kellen, Lance and Amy… It was all part of a past that I would have given anything to go back to, even though my life was perfect as of then. With my hand, I touched the top of the pocket of my white pants, where an old Foldy Wan Kenobi was.
I kept him on me all the time.
I, myself, sometimes felt like an old Ben Kenobi.
By Dennis Walker
“Everyone, please report for a general assembly to kick start the new term! All students must be there in five minutes.”
“Jeez, do they ever cut us some slack?” Reuben laughed, holding an origami Ron Weasley in his finger.
“I would have guessed you had thrown that away after we nearly escaped with our lives against Foldemort.”
“Are you kidding? This origami Wizarding World has been the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“What about Alysson?”
“Oh, she’ll be there alright. She’ll never be late for assembly.”
“Who’s not being late?” Alysson put her cold-ash hands in both our necks.
“Frick!” Reuben exclaimed, “Why did you do that?”
“Just a little play before assembly. I can’t wait to see what they tell us. Did you know they changed the headteacher after the origami war?”
“Sit down, everyone!” The new headmistress appeared onstage, “I would like to welcome you all to this term. As some of you may know, right before we were quarantined because of this virus, there was an incident in the school involving origami, which as you all may know, led to a sort of war between peers and… teachers. Some were even sent to jail.”
There were some ‘oohs’ around, which was surprising since everybody knew what had happened.
“My name is principal Sales, and I’m going to be your new headmistress around here. I will make sure that you follow the student guidelines correctly, forgetting from now on everything that has to do with Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or origami.”
That’s when everyone started complaining. Many stood up and yelled. Origami had been part of the school for the last two years. This was a big change for everybody.
“Now, after doing some research, I’ve realised that this is not a problem that only we have faced. Some schools across the world have been having the same problem,” She smiled, “EduFun products, such as Funtime, has had very good results with bringing back the attention to students and help them focus,”
I was very confused, but she kept talking.
“From now on. Every tie in the school uniform will not have the same color as the “Hogwarts house” you belong to, or whatever. Instead, it will be gray. Everyone’s tie will be the color gray.”
“That ‘s boring!” Jasmine Bismark from year 8 yelled, “Go back to the old ties!”
“You,” Sales roared, “Whatever your name is, Out. Now!”
She left stomping, and the rest were amazed by this sudden change in the school rules.
This wasn’t fun, as it was before. This was something else.
This was Funtime.
By Edward Emily
I was actually wondering how hard it would be to explain what happened in just a chapter with…Well, written words.
The thing is my family had taken a little one week holiday around the states, just to see some different stuff from the things we were used to.
I had laid a message in The Folders Connection discord server. You wouldn’t believe how many different schools around the world there are that use origami. I personally hadn’t thought of it!
We stopped at Madison for a quick bite, you know.
I wasn’t really expecting anything really weird or strange from a town like this, and nothing would have happened if I hadn’t wandered around before I hopped back in the car because I was bored.
It was nice to see a row of houses in Hawk Side Road that had perfectly matching parking lots and same size houses. Nothing out of the ordinary except the flying paper airplane coming near me, and stopping at my feet.
I looked around, and only saw a house with its windows open, but I didn’t see anybody inside. I picked the piece of paper from the ground and read it.
Hawk Side Road, 33
Funnily enough, the house with the open window happened to be number 33.
My instinct was to get out of there, but curiosity got the best of me and I found myself knocking on the door. It was only five seconds later the door opened, and a curly-haired young man with hexagonal spectacles opened the door.
“Edward Emily, the origami… who even are you?”
“Nico de Angelo,” I corrected, “And you are?”
“Duncan Anderson. You were in the neighborhood and, y’know, figured I’d say hi.”
I stayed silent for a second, not really knowing where to take the conversation next.
“You just gonna stand there, or…?”
“Uh… I don’t know, maybe I should go-“
“Wasn’t really asking, Mr. Emily.”
I followed him inside.
“Please, call me Edward. Mr. Emily is my Father.”
“Oh, my bad. By the way, have you looked at the server recently?”
I was confused, “Which one- Oh, yeah. No, not really.”
He raised an eyebrow. He knew I was avoiding something.
“…Yes, I have. Why?”
“So, there are these students from an Ilkley Grammar School in England who have been complaining because of an education system their school has been using called ‘Funtime’. You know what Funtime is, Ed?”
“Yeah, Funtime, I know what it is,” I sighed, I could feel myself tense up, and my arm seemed to instinctively gravitate towards the nearest weapon. Letter opener, perhaps? I took a deep breath, careful not to let this stranger see me, “Honestly, I know what it’s been up to for a long time. No offense,” Full offense, “But I knew their inner workings probably even before you even had a puppet. Before I did.”
“Dang, bro, that’s so interesting,” he said sarcastically. “Anyways, uh… as a member of the Folders Connection, you must answer the call for help.”
“Listen man, I would, gladly. It’s kind of my job to do these kinds of tasks. But in case you didn’t notice… I go to Wheeler, dude. There’s like… a hundred members there.” I kind of stood up and raced to the door.
He got an origami puppet from his pocket.
“Look, I’m just as confused about all of this as you are.”
“I’m not confused.”
He took a deep breath, “The thing is that it isn’t the first time this Edufun system has been giving kids a hard time.”
“Ah yeah,” I nodded, “I know. Y’know, funny story my Grandpa-” I shook my head, “Is dead! Let’s not get into it.”
“Oh, uh… sorry for your loss, man, that sucks,” Duncan was clearly surprised by what I had just said, but chose not to comment on the abruptness.
“I’m Doctorigami Strange,” He continued, holding up the origami puppet. “And after everything that’s happened around here, I’m in charge of keeping peace in the, let’s say, Foldverse.”
“It’s just an educational system, man. I know it sucks, but that’s how society works, in the end.”
“Yeah, but it bans origami. And as dumb of a reason to take down a huge corporation as that is, origami has helped create some of my fondest memories, and…” he trailed off, his eyes starting to fill with that reminiscent gleam my Grandpa had whenever he told me stories of his glory days. “…and I would hate to see today’s kids bored out of their mind with nothing good to look back on when they’re my age, so… please, dude, help me out here?”
I puffed, “They also indoctrinated children into a cult.”
Duncan, despite being obviously shocked, maintained his composure. “Well… hahaa… all the more reason, right? Ahem…”
By Eleanor Borkoshavski
My name is Eleanor Borkoshavski and I’m a student from the United States.
Very recently I’ve had a look at the exchange program you were offering, and I would like to submit my application. My grades are good, better than good in fact. My interest in this exchange is bigger than anything in the world right now, and I’d really appreciate it if you would consider my application seriously.
By Tommy Lomax
It wasn’t many weeks after that I was on my trip to England, out and about learning new things from the places I visited each different day.
I’ve got to admit I never expected these books of mine to hit the public in such a way that they did. They’re practically bestsellers now.
And to think it all began with me making origami case files about some origami pieces of paper like Yoda or Darth Paper…It all seemed so magic back then, but now I just remember it as something weird for some reason.
It is true that back then, it gave me the confidence to go and ask Sarah to dance in the end, but it was just a piece of paper talking, it couldn’t have had anything else apart from that, right?
Still, there was always this kind of magic around origami that made us all want to fold the puppets of our favorite characters.
One thought led me to another, and I just wondered how Dwight was.
“I’m really hoping he’s okay.” I thought to myself. It was stupid, of course he was.
The plane landed not long after those thoughts, and I was received with a ton of people waiting for me at the airport.
With all the thoughts clouding my head at the Leeds airport (real atícela close to Ilkley, where tomorrow’s destination was), I dropped my bag down the stairs.
Luckily, a man with square glasses caught it and handed it to me.
“Thank you so much, sir.”
“Nice to see you, Tommy Toes.”
I had only been named that once before, and I was about to faint when Harvey Cunningham smiled.
“Harvey! Why are you-How’ve you been?”
“Hey, Tommy!” He gave me a hug, “I’ve been great, man. Top of the world.”
I inspected him from top to bottom.
“Yeah, can totally see that.”
“So, man. What brings you here, Tommy Toes?”
“Can you please stop calling me that?” I asked him, annoyed, “I actually have a reputation to keep.”
“Is that why you have the Foldy wan sticking out of your pocket?” He ironically asked.
“Frick,” I hid the origami puppet deeper into my pocket, “It’s all just about the memories.”
“Oh I bet,” He smirked, “I thought you had come here because of Funtime.”
“I have so much better things to do, thank you.”
We went together to pick up my other, bigger bag.
“Wait,” I stopped Harvey, “Let me get it.”
I finally got the bag and panted. This got me thinking.
“Harvey, wait a second,” I started, “Did you just say Funtime?”
“Oh, yeah. You didn’t know?”
A sense of both insecurity and preoccupation entered my body as a feeling of void stepped into my stomach.
“Didn’t know what?” I asked him, even though, ironically, I perfectly knew what I didn’t know.
“Funtime doesn’t only work in the states, it’s a global thing now.”
My face fell.
“Harvey, please tell me you’re kidding.”
“I’m not,” He gave the matter zero importance, “Anyways, what’s your next stop?”
“Ilkley,” I skipped, “But dude, we’ve got to do something about this. As adults I bet we could do more than last time.”
“I dunno, Tommy.” Harvey crossed his arms.
‘Kicks get chicks’
By Daniel Smith
“Oh my gosh,” Rick munched,” This has literally gotta be the best cheeseburger I’ve ever had.”
I looked around. I’m pretty sure these English people had better manners when it came to eating than what Rick was now showing off.
He was licking his fingers and when something from the cheeseburger fell down on the tin foil envelope, he picked it up with his hands and shoved it down his throat. His hands were covered in ketchup and he was way out of napkins.
“Please take mine.” I showed him a pile of napkins I hadn’t used.
This was said to be the best burger place in Ilkley anyone had ever seen, or eaten in. We were just dropping by and getting some dinner before going back to the residency.
“How come the karate olympics are in London?”
“I don’t know but there’s still a week to go before that.”
“Is that why you had me come here to this town?”
“Its culture is historical, man! It had the very first train system in the area right when those were starting. It’s just history.”
“History’s for nerds.” Rick remarked.
“You know, these people can still hear you. They speak English as well, like in the States.”
“No, they speak British.”
“It’s the same language, dipsh*t.”
I could see he wasn’t paying any attention to what I was saying or didn’t care, he was already looking at some girl behind me. The worst thing is that when I turned around to get a glimpse of her, I think she was looking at him as well.
“Get a load of this.” He patted me on the shoulder.
He walked on the way to her, but a red haired guy ran past him and went to meet the girl faster.
“Aww, Tim, you came,” The girl said, “I was worried you wouldn’t be able to make it.”
“Heather, is there a time I have failed you.”
It just looked like a shot straight out from a movie. And you should have seen Rick’s face as they said it . He was speechless.
“Well, she hasn’t seen me using my karate skills.”
“Everyone’s seen your karate skills, Ricky.”
We walked along the streets filled with bookstores and a store for school uniforms. “Ilkley Grammar Uniforms”, it was called.
“Look at that! They’ve actually got different ties according to Harry Potter houses?”
“That’s totally awesome, man,” Ricky agreed, “Danny boy, have you seen this?”
On the window was a panel with a list of activities that would be happening over the course of that week.
Ilkley: The best time of the year is NOW!!!
Join the town of Ilkley in a memorable experience that will twist your understanding of history with the tour: Ilkley; a history.
Ilkley Grammar School will be celebrating their third annual Tri-Chemist tournament. Why not pop in and take a look next Saturday at what these students are up to? It’s a 100% free local event!
The famous best-selling author Tommy Lomax is on a book tour! Want to get your book signed? Approach the Barnes and Noble store in the main square!
Only this week!
If that’s not enough! The Weeknd is stopping by for a concert on Tuesday! It will be the long awaited event!
“And I thought this place was abandoned.” Ricky said, and I nodded.
“Apparently not.” I replied.
“But, dude, a concert tomorrow night? That ‘s awesome.”
“Do you think it’s gonna be such a good idea?” I replied, “I mean, this place is now filling up with tourists and people from all over England. It’s gonna be super crowded.”
“What’s wrong, Danny?” He mocked, “Scared of a little crowd?“
“Alright, but just be careful.”
‘No be there’
By Rick Rights
The night after was the day of the concert. By gosh, everyone was there. The place was so full of Germans and Spaniards that had come from different places.
“This is amazing!” He yelled. Danny yelled, “The music is so incredibly loud!”
Everyone was yelling, somehow singing, and the rest did our best not to look weird.
There were a couple of girls here and there.
“For the after party.” I called Daniel.
“Dude, stop. Good thing that Tim was a nice guy. I would have beaten your ass.”
“Yeah, like you could.”
“Not this again, Rick.”
I looked at the girls again. It was too late.
Lets just say a group of Brits was already talking to them. They had struck first.
“Dude, try to enjoy yourself a bit.” Daniel recommended.
I chuckled once more. “Mighty words coming from you.”
I left Daniel with his mouth open to talk to those girls, even though they were already with some other guys. Sometimes you need to assert your dominance.
“Hey,” I started, and she turned around, “What’s a lovely girl like you doing in a place like this?”
She was quiet and giggled, then she turned to her friends and the other guys looked at me like I was a tart.
This might’ve been one of my biggest mistakes yet.
“Anything we can do for ya, mate?” One of the boys asked me.
“Leave him, Barnaby.” Another said.
“Yeah, leave me, Barnaby.” I smirked.
They didn’t seem to take it as a joke.
“Are you laughing at my brudah?”
“I’m sorry, you what, now?”
The guy who looked like the leader stood up in front of me, eyeing me from bottom up.
“Are you laughing at my brother?” He pronounced it like ‘are you luthin’ at my brudah.’
By this point, Daniel was standing next to me and the girls had already left.
“Alright, everybody,” Daniel tried to calm us all down, “He’s just kidding, he didn’t mean it.”
“No, no. I want to see where that freaky accent comes from.”
“Shut up, Ricky.”
By Daniel Smith
The tallest, Barnaby, slowly pushed Ricky backwards.
Ricky doubted and hesitated for a second.
“Here we go again,” I thought to myself as Ricky roundhoused Barnaby and sent him to the ground, awakening the other five gang members into action. All except one, the leader, who I think was smart enough to not fight in front of everyone.
Some of the audience started calling the cops as Ricky sweeped the legs of some, and received punches from the others. Ricky was good. He was a karate champion, after all.
But six against one was way above his usual odds.
“Woah, woah!” An adult with square glasses stepped in the fight and got a kick to the face by accident and fell down.
Another one with shorter hair held Ricky. It didn’t calm him down, but he knew he was in big trouble.
Ricky pulled out his origami Johnny Lawrence I had seen so much of.
“That’s what you get.”
The others from the group reached into their pockets and immediately pulled out, to my amazement, origami puppets.
“You don’t fold with the Peaky Binders.”
Both adults were even more astonished than I probably was. They looked at each other in amazement as tho policemen came to solve the situation.
Automatically, the tallest of the adults got his ID out.
“Police officer, the situation has been solved.”
“Inspector Cunningham? What is the FBI doing here?” One of the cops said.
“It’s our business, stand down.”
The officers retreated, nodding.
The other adult sat on his knees.
“Woah, this is a lot to take in,” He panted, “Harvey, you’re FBI?”
“Oh, no, of course not,” He laughed, “I don’t even know how they fell for that.”
Tommy continued, this time looking at Rick, The Peaky Binders or whatever their name was, and I.
“You all, explain the situation, and please tell us why the origami puppets.”
“We have had them for a long time. Why?” I asked.
“It’s kind of weird you guys have the same style of origami puppets we have.” One of the Binders said.
“I was just saying this because we actually have the same kind of puppets back home, in Virginia.” Tommy, one of the adults, stated.
“Tommy, this is nuts.” Harvey, the other, agreed.
“And why the Peaky Blinders?” Rick asked William, the leader.
“Well, why frickin’ not?,” He smirked, “Why Karate?”
“Because we actually do what we preach,” Ricky smiled.
“Alright, guys,” Tommy said to all of us,”We’re all gonna need to have a little talk.”
“I’m not sure if you guys know our hotel is closing soon.” Will Leach said.
“Alright,” Tommy sighed, “Can you guys meet tomorrow? I’ll be signing books at the bookstore. The one right next to the café.”
We looked at each other.
“Seems fair to me.”
By Dennis Walker
“I think it’s a fact that all of us agree on.” Reuben started once we were reunited in the library: Alastor Bismark, my brother Henry, Alysson and Camster Jenkins were there.
“Reuben, haven’t we gotten into enough trouble already?” Canter took a more rational approach, “I mean, last year against Foldemort was once thing. This is just going against statal laws about education in this school.”
“Yes, but this school doesn’t need an educational system like this,” Alysson took part, “All electives have been canceled! Can you believe that?”
“I think it’s more than obvious that something has to be done. The question is what and how,” Henry added, “As far as I know, no one ever defeated a school system.”
“Not so fast, Henry,” Alysson corrected, “Back in the start of last decade, a group of students from Virginia, USA, defeated Funtime in a record time. One of them was the author Mr Lomax.”
“Bloody heck! How do you even know that?”
“I did my research,” Alysson smiled, “Worst case scenario we can just contact him through his public email and see if he can reply.”
“He won’t,” I replied. “If I was a famous author I wouldn’t care less about an education system.”
Alysson realised that I might be right.
“We have to try to email him, at least.”
“No need.” Alastor smiled to the rest, looking at a pamphlet hung on the wall, “Have you heard Tommy Lomax is in town this week?”
We all looked at each other.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No, no. Look!”
Sure enough, it was true. Tommy Lomax was in town.
“Would he arrange a meeting?” I asked no one in particular.
“I don’t know if he has those, but we could try to see him while he’s signing books tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow it is, then.”
By Duncan Anderson
Location: Ben Riding bus station.
When: For some multiversal, plot-convenient reason, the same week everyone is in Ilkley.
“Angelo,” I called Brother Voodoodle.
“What is it?”
“The bus,” I looked at a green dash in the distance. “Is that it?”
He looked at it for a couple of seconds, surveying it. “It is.”
He held up his hand.
The old bus stopped with a creaking sound and opened the doors. It was unusually crowded.
“Yeah, everyone’s here for some reason.”
Angelo opened up his pamphlet for that week in Ilkley and started going through all the things that were available.
“You don’t worry about that,” I tried to correct him, “We’re mainly here to stop Funtime.”
Angelo looked at me weirdly and I mumbled.
“Alright, maybe we’re here for some other things as well.” I got an authorization paper out of my pocket.
“I’ve got mine here.” He got his Ilkley Grammar School Student license for a week.
“And if I’m not wrong, my partner Edward Emily, who arrives tomorrow, has one as well.”
“That’s sick,” Angelo exclaimed, “A week in one of the most prestigious schools in the country.”
“You know, people fold origami here as well.”
“True, true, man,” He nodded, “I saw it on the Folder Connection Website.”
We took another look at the site as we entered the town of Ilkley.
“Well, well, well,” I smiled, “I never thought I would see this.”
Angelo and I looked out the window to see a structure which up on a green hill proudly stood. A building of significant history to the town of Ilkley and its students, house of the Wizarding Folds origami folders: Ilkley Grammar School.
“Where’s our apartment?”
“We’re sharing it with a certain Dennis Walker. He’s got a couple of beds in his room. Thankfully we’ll get along with him just fine.”
“Who’s Dennis Walker?”
“They call him Harry Paper.”
I looked out the window for a while, and then looked at the messages on The Folders connection discord chat.
Daniel: Anyone in Ilkley by any chance? Tomorrow at the top of Ilkley Moor Hill
I showed it to Angelo.
“Now we know where to recruit.” I smiled.
By Tommy Lomax
The morning after, I headed to the place we told the others to meet. At first I got lost, but the hill was visible and I only had to walk a few miles to get there.
As a morning walk I guess it was pretty peaceful.
I thought I was gonna be the first to get there, but two had already beat me to it.
I found Ricky, the origami Sensei Lawrence, luring flat on the grass, sleeping, and Daniel, origami Sensei Larusso doing some moves at the edge of the hill. He hadn’t noticed me.
“He’s been practicing for 45 minutes, he does it better than me I’d say. It ‘s kata.” A voice behind me said.
I turned around, surprised.
A young man walked to me.
“I used to come to this hillside when I came here in 2018 with a girl I met. Those are good memories… You must be Tommy Lomax,” He stopped the story he was telling and extended his hand, “I’ve waited a long time to meet you. Weird it had to be here.”
I stopped to take in all the info this guy had just
“Nice to meet you too. You are?”
“Call me Guillermo,” He said.
“I haven’t met you before, you got the message?”
“I did,” He smirked, “But I’m only here to check on a teacher. Unfortunately, I’m not staying long.”
“Well, I wish you well.”
“You too, sir.” He said, and headed downhill.
As I came closer to Daniel, he started noticing my presence and stopped.
“Nice.” I noted.
“Thanks. I’ve got a competition soon.” He explained.
“You’re gonna nail it.” I assured him.
Just as the conversation finished, William and the rest of the Peaky Binders: Barnaby, Greg and Peel were visible from the bottom of the hill.
“Do you trust them?” I immediately said without thinking twice. I actually sounded like a kid or a younger version of myself.
Daniel looked at them as well.
“I don’t think I do,” We stopped as a cold morning breeze hit our bodies,”I don’t think they’re here just to stop Funtime.”
“Well, neither am I,” I said, smirking, “I came here to sign books.”
“And I followed you,” Harvey, who gosh knows where he was, said, “So please don’t ask me what I’m doing here.”
“Here we are,” Barnaby Leach smiled.
“So, gentlemen,” Will Leach started, “What’s the plan?”
Harvey was already annoyed by some of these kid’s behaviour, but I thought better, and tried to collaborate with them.
“Yesterday morning, a group of students from Ilkley Grammar School filled out a sort of report for Funtime from most, if not all of the students. The leader group goes by the name of The Order of the Pholdix-“
“- Order of the Pholdix? Like Order of the Phoenix from Harry Potter?” Ricky exclaimed. Apparently he had woken up and had been listening.
“So they do origami Harry Potter here?” Harvey asked.
“Indeed,” Will Leach said, “A couple of years ago, we got the local news of some students talking to all of Trafalgar Square and making a mess on a field trip. They said something about an origami Newt Scamander.”
I nodded, and continued.
“Now, if we meet them today after school and plan the hearing tomorrow, things could work.”
“Tommy, listen. I’m happy you want to take down Funtime as well, but last time we fought it, it was just to end it in our school from the inside. How do you possibly expect us to end it on a global scale as a couple of adults who aren’t in this school?”
“Because you’re not just adults,” Will Leach replied, “He’s a famous writer and you have influence in the school system. You both have much more to say in this than you did before.”
Harvey looked at me and sighed.
“We’ll, he’s got a point,” He turned around, facing everybody, “We’re a team from now on. And we’ll be known as the Illuminati.”
Everybody just stayed quiet.
“The Ilumi-what-y?” Ricky asked, confused.
“No changing the name!”
Wizards and Sorcerers
By Tim Baker
“Hearing tomorrow,” I dropped the papers on the desk where we were discussing our approach, “And please don’t chicken out. I’m supposed to be in college right now and I came back to help guys with this mess.”
“Tim, be nice.” Heather reminded me. Sometimes I needed her to do this, I had really changed from being the shy guy, always minding his own business. I always felt like I had something growing inside me.”
“What ‘s the plan?” Henry Walker asked.
“We’re presenting cases from all over the world on how edu-fun products never helped at all. All the way from 2010 to this year all over the world,” Cam Jenkins, Dumblefold, said, “The folders connection really helped with providing proof.”
“I can vouch for that.” A voice from the other side of the library rebounded in the walls. We all turned our heads.
“I’m sorry you are?”
“My name is Duncan Anderson, Doctorigami Strange, and these are my friends Mr. Em- er… Ed Emily, Nico De Angelo and Angelo Vis, Brother Voodoodle.”
Alastor Bismark headed in their direction.
“You’re not from here, are you?”
“No, we’re from the states,” Duncan replied, imitating Alastor’s British Accent. “Hey, do you guys have a bo’oh oh woh’oh?”
Alastor Raised an eyebrow. He clearly didn’t like this new guy. I couldn’t really blame him; who would like this arrogant American teenager?
“Now listen here, you tw-” Alastor replied.
“Woah, woah, guys.” Henry Walker interrupted, “would you like to tell us why are you here, Mr. Anderson?”
Duncan Anderson stepped forward.
“We know about Funtime much more than you guys… especially Ed here. He can get all the evidence we need to take them suckers down.”
“Hm…But you forget the most important thing,” Henry Walker said, “How are a group of adults going to believe a bunch of teenagers?”
Edward patted his lips.
“Back in the early stages, a school in Virginia rebelled against this system. The author who is signing books, Tommy Lomax, is one of them. They almost single-handedly destroyed Funtime in their school.”
“We already knew that,” Alastor remarked, “He’s also here tonight for a book signing. We’ll see him there.”
“I strongly disagree with that,” Angelo Viss said, “The place will be crammed with tourists and you won’t get to speak to him. Besides, what makes you think he’ll listen to us?”
They all rested in silence.
“We are going to the meeting tomorrow and that’s final,” Cam Jenkins stated, and some nodded, “Well see how this goes.”
The Funtime Menace
By Harvey Cunningham
“You ready?” I asked the kid sitting next to me. Apparently this was Ricky.
“I’m always ready, man. It’s time to win this thing.”
Tommy talked to the judge who was sitting in front of everybody and then came back to talk to us.
“Have we got everything?” He asked.
“I think we do,” I replied, “ We’ve got the videos and we’ve got everything. It’s time to show them what we can do.”
“Alright,” Tommy nodded, “Rick, you got anything?”
He looked at me and almost laughed.
“Oh, dude, I shoot from the hip .”
“Don’t worry, William Leach responded, sure of himself, “I will do most of the talking.”
“No, Tommy will.” I replied.
Will got an origami puppet out.
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Tommy Shelby will.”
“I meant Tommy as in Tommy Lomax, dipsh*t.”
I stood tall next to me.
“I said I’ve got things to say.”
“Yeah, and he’s got things to say as well. He’s got more to say than you do, that’s for sure.”
He eyed me from bottom up like he had done several times before, and sat down.
The doors opened, and several more kids entered the room. They were actually the only other kids that were in the room apart from the ones that came with us.
“Let’s sit there.” A black, bespectacled dark haired boy showed a pair of them up, and the rest followed. They sat next to us.
After eyeing them, I noticed some of them looked familiar, like I had seen them in a picture of some sort.
“Tim Baker?” I asked one of them, and he immediately looked at me.
How did we know each other? The superfolder connection was a resource I was quite proud of. He kept us all up to date on what was happening on Ilkley Grammar.
“Awesome you’re here as well,” He said, “Fighting for the same cause, right?”
“Yes.” Tommy replied, “I’m Tommy Lomax.”
Another one intervened.
“Yes, we know who you are, you’re freaking Foldy Wan Kenobi.” A gleam of awe in his eye..
“I’m sorry, and you are?”
“Duncan Anderson, Doctorigami Strange.”
“Wow. They’ve got him as well?” I asked Tommy, who realised his elbows as a sign of ‘I don’t know, man’.
“Let the trial commence.” The judge sped over the microphone and slashed her hammer against the giant, wooden desk, “We’re here to determine whether FunTime, the lifelong supporter of academic stability in schools, is undermining the student’s confidence in school.”
“I don’t think undermining is the right-“ The president of Funtime, started, but was cut off by the judge.
“We’re not addressing this at the moment, what we’re here for is so there young people can prove what they say that FunTime is doing to their young minds. You have five minutes to present your case.”
“Your honor,” The Doctorigami Strange kid stood up.
“Your honor,” I stood up as well. It’s not that I didn’t trust Duncan Anderson, it’s just that I knew what I had to say and I hadn’t seen this kid before in my life.
“Your honor,” William Leach, origami Tommy Shelby stood up. I shot him a menacing look, because Anderson was not part of our group, but Leach was, and he was not going according to plan.
“I’m sorry,” The judge announced,” But only one can talk, please.”
“That’s why I’m here, ma’am.” Will Leach put on some round glasses and put his right hand in his pocket. With the other one he held another paper.
“Leach,” I was mad, “stop, we were organised.”
“You were organised,” He smirked, “I never agreed to that.”
Duncan Anderson and I seemed to be on the same page, but he took the lead.
He told everyone present how he and the rest of students opposed the Funtime and found it in their best interests for the project in schools to end.
“You might say,” Duncan continued, “That we are few present here who feel like this,”
The judge nodded, and he kept on going,
“I, with help of the students Edward Emily and Eleanor Borkoshavski – who is currently taking classes here in the school – have compiled a video where we tell the story and experience… from a certain point of view, that being of the students that endured EduFun’s reign of terror.”
The projector screen turned on, and Edward Emily pressed a button. The video loaded and quickly enough, the title “The Book of Funtime” appeared on the screen.
The Book of Funtime
It was all going just as I wanted it to go.
The first clip was from a school in New York, Central High School. I recognised some of them because of their works for the folder servers, but there were many others which I did not know.
“This is Emil Harrington,” The boy said, holding an origami Ethan Hunt from the Mission Impossible series, “In our school, many electives were canceled. Activities such as the special police-oriented training we go here don’t exist anymore, and it’s crucial they do, for our own creative and different way of learning, exclusive to our school and adventures.
“This is Walter Davis from Thomas Jefferson School,” the autistic kid from Illinois started, holding an origami Shaun Murphy from The Good Doctor, “Many…electives…have been canceled. We need them to come back, please. Please…bring them back. This school is useless without them.”
“We’re not doing anything else but learning incredibly stupid math calculations and stuff, “ Walt Ferrer, origami Walter White from Breaking Bad, said from Alabama.
“It’s also being implemented in Spain,” A girl named Carmen, from Clater school in Spain, started, “It’s caused the mysterious desaparicion of important people to us. It’s not working, people are even dropping out, saying school isn’t good enough anymore.”
After those students, many more from other parts of the world followed. I was even surprised back when I made the video on how many people answered the call for help. They all had to be in contact through The Superfolder Connection. It was the best thing that could have happened.
After that, the judge gave us 10 minutes for her to make a decision which would be taken to a higher court.
“Duncan Anderson,” Tommy Lomax went to shake his hand. I did as well, “I’m glad you saved the day.”
“Hey, you know me, bro.”
“I had something prepared at first, but I’m glad you came here and joined us.”
“We’ll from my point of view y’all joined my cause,” I explained, “At first I only limited myself to help my own school back in Madison as part of the OrigAvengers. Now I realise my school was just one of an infinite number in the world.”
“And you’re doing all in your power to save them,” I continued, “You’re a good lad.”
“I know I am.” He smirked.
The judge called us all back in, and we took our seats once more.
“I’m very intrigued by what you and other students had to say,” She started, “I talked it over with the board and they seem to be in accord. Your request is taken into account as an urgent matter and will be taken to a higher court.”
We cheered. There wasn’t a lot to cheer about, since the fight had only just begun, but at least we got started.
“The only thing I’ll need will be the video clip as a certain type of proof,” The judge continued, “If you would be so kind as to handle us the pen drive.”
“Yes, of course.” I went to pick it up from where I had seen Duncan leave it, but it had disappeared. “It’s not here!”
Duncan ran towards me.
“What do you mean?”
He checked to find out the horrible truth.
“Duncan!” Edward yelled behind us, “I might’ve seen someone run through just before. He went out that door.”
Duncan Anderson looked at me and then nodded.
“I’m going with you.” Ricky followed, and they blasted through the doors before you could realise it.
The Pen Drive
By Duncan Anderson
Ricky was following. The guy wasn’t seen, but his steps could be heard from the level above. Our disadvantage was that we didn’t know the building. It would have been convenient for someone with a Harry Potter puppet to show us the way, but there wasn’t any time.
We found the stairs and we went up, and a large, dark and grim hallway full of locked doors stood in front of us.
“You check left, I’ll check right.” Ricky said, holding up an origami puppet.
We went through the doors one by one. I was opening them, and Ricky was kicking them open. When he opened one door, another hallway was revealed.
Ricky grunted in despair.
“Are you kidding me?” He roared, “I’ll go check this one out, you take a look at the last one over there.”
I nodded and headed that way, opened the door and shut it behind me.
The room was big, compared to the rest.
“M12 Philosophy” I had read before going in.
There was a giant window to the side, where another person stood seated in the shadows. There were portraits of every philosopher until the current time which gave me the creeps.
“Well, well, well,” the man said, “Duncan Anderson, it’s been a while.”
“Look, man, drop the cloaked figure act and just show us who you are.”
The man stood up and came closer to the window, which illuminated his face, now with coon eyes.
“Guillermo?” This was the last person I would have expected here, “What, how, why?”
“Come on Duncan, you’re graduating soon,” he started, “Why would you care about Funtime?”
“Bro, this isn’t about me. What on earth are you doing here, man? Last time I saw you, your uncle was sick and you had to leave. I heard you stayed with your girlfriend in Spain.”
“Crazy love story, huh? Namorigami and Dormarker, the couple.”
I came closer to him, and he continued.
“Last year was filled with crazy stuff, Duncan, and we decided it best to cut it off.”
“I thought I was gonna get better, but the only thing I kept thinking was that I should’ve stayed in the USA, with a better future, and with my friends…”
“You’re welcome back, Guillermo, but now is not the best-“
“Yes it is!” He roared, “I doubted myself, wondering if I had done the right thing. At least y’all got a proper goodbye between each other. I stayed alone for months until I was forced to change, and now, I’m the best version of myself.”
I got another look at him.
“I thought Carmen leaving me was the last straw,” He started pulling out a puppet from his pocket, “But now I realise that things had gotten out of hand way before that.”
The Sinister Strange puppet in his finger made me question a few things.
“What is it you want?” I asked him.
“Oh, nothing, I’m just doing you guys a favor. Stopping Funtime isn’t gonna give you meaning Duncan.”
“Getting future generations of kids to be able to look back on these years of their lives fondly? Seems like a pretty darn good reason to stop this evil conglomerate corporation. What do you think kept me going all these years? Those fond memories. Of Ms. Jamie, of Isabella, of… Naphtali. And of Wheeler and Kirby. And, honestly, man, some of us have really missed you back there,” I reasoned, “Just come back to the States, and give me the pen drive.”
He hesitated for a second, but he finally gave it to me.
“To better decisions.”
I nodded in agreement.
“I think I can find you somewhere where you can be more than well. Anyways, we’ve got to tell Ricky everything’s under control, come on.”
By Tommy Lomax
In the end, the pen drive was given to the judge, and everything was in order for the next step in our plan to destroy Funtime. The battle has indeed begun.
The day after, Harvey Cunningham and I were soon joined by the rest of the students who had participated in this certain odyssey: Angelo Vis, Edward Emily, Duncan Anderson, along with Henry and Dennis Walker, Alastor Bismark, Kevin Harrington and Tim Baker.
Daniel Smith and Rick were there as well, and finally, even though their stubbornness almost got us killed, Will and Barnaby Leach -my guess is that the rest of the Peaky Binders had returned to Birmingham- were there as well.
“Dear Illuminati,” I started, “It’s been an honor being with you all this week. For some, it was the first time we saw each other, yesterday, and some others had been with me several days before.”
I looked down and remembered Sara and the kids. It was funny how this origami mania had invaded my mind once more.
“But I have to keep on going with my tour, so I’m afraid I can’t be staying here for longer.”
Harvey and I shook each of their hands, holding extra tight Will Leach’s.
“Y’all good?” Harvey asked, “Y’all seem pretty shaken up.”
“I’m not gonna complain. We got reunited with other folders and traveled for some time. It’s not all that bad.”
Will Leach looked at his feet.
“I’m staying here for some days until I go back home. I could take some days off from college.”
“We’re staying as well,” Daniel replied, “I’m afraid Ricky and I have to go compete in a tournament here.”
“We’ll kick all of their butts.” Ricky added.
“Yeah, good luck with that.” Alastor Bismark snorted.
Tim Baker sat down on the grass.
“And I’ll stay here, I guess. Heather and I-“
“Yo, can you keep your love life to yourself?” Duncan interrupted, “Not good for my ego.”
“I guess this is farewell.”
“Good luck everybody,” Harvey added, “This is not goodbye, we’ll be in contact.”
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